Truly excellent post, Psilociraptor! I can very much relate to what you're saying there.
Finding the joy and gratitude in spite of everything is somehow key.
Track the love.
“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli