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Maybe. Just maybe, I really do have a chance to learn. Options
 
Sunnyside
#1 Posted : 7/23/2017 12:50:30 AM

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Posts: 388
Joined: 28-Jun-2015
Last visit: 09-Feb-2024
Almost 5 years now, of working with the spice.

I have done a couple dozen extractions, following Cyb's teks. First with ACRB. More recently with MHRB.

First it was with the crack pipe, totally hit and miss, maybe I could get a lung-full or two, but it is difficult. So I learned a little, really just enough to know that I want to understand more, see more, feel more. I'd get remarkable visuals, both open-eyed and closed-eyed. My wife saw me, knew I was 'in' there, my buds saw me, enjoyed my enjoyment. But I never had break-throughs.

Then a pal introduced me to the dab-rig. At the same time, he introduced me to big doses. Way too big. I'm not good with words, my best chance at describing it is a super-power, grabbing me by a hand, or a foot, tossing me about like a rag doll. And don't get me wrong, I'm loving it. But so much. Lights. Color. Joy. Love. Peace. Chaos. But I can't disobey their directions: They direct me to sing, I sing. They say chant, I chant. They say howl, do I ever howl. But I'm also on the floor, thrashing and laughing and loving it. So, hopefully you get the picture.

But I read here, all the time, down the rabbit hole, and I know there's more.

So, the Glass Vapor Genie arrives and my sessions are now safe again, at least. But still I go for the big doses. And whatever takes me loves me and enjoys me and I try to return that, but it just is too too much.

So... maybe I should try scaling back a little bit...? Hmmm...?

So I scale back. Small doses, in the chamber. And also, enhance some herb, and do smallish bong hits. So I try to manage, and keep trying the small hits. Dozens of attempts, over some weeks, trying to learn and understand, and it is pleasing.

So the discipline shows me, I can do a little bit more. Same measure spoon, but allow the spoon to be full, even overflow just a bit - as opposed to making sure I don't fill the spoon full-level. So, I'm going by what is in the spoon, as I've measured it previously, and feel less encumbered than if I kept my milligram scale in my quiet room.

And this bigger dose is better. Not breakthrough. But much better than the smaller dose.

Small dose: oh, very cool. I see you over there. Oh you're flipping me off. Oh why do you stick your tongue out and snarl at me? Oh, who are you? This is fun!

Now the slightly bigger dose: oh, yes, very cool... ummm.... yes, see, this bigger dose is... wait... what happened did I really see hear feel that... wait... am I awake... are my eyes open... wait where am I... wait am I in control here... wait I don't understand...

So. Going just a little bigger, keeping things in control.
Like so much in my life, I intuit that this is correct.

Sorry I'm slow to make my point. As I said, I am not much of a communicator.

So last night, with the bigger dose, in my quiet room with some candles, and the GVG. And I've taken to putting on an eyemask, as opposed to holding my hands over my eyes. And I like the eyemask.

And a room unfolds and opens up, I've been here before, and others describe it much better than I do. But from my very poor memory, it is a black and yellow checkerboard, and there are 3 feminine entities/spirits, seemingly very busy working at something. They are like most of the other beings that I see - more of a CGI appearance, totally real to me, but not seeming real. Like, I know the difference, pretty much always. They keep their heads down and occasionally look over at me. And there was other activity, but, I'm not good with memory nor description.

And I know I'm in kind of nice and deep, short of breakthrough. And I hear myself laugh a couple times, and I'm coming back, out of my little nuthouse.

But something catches my eye.
And I look to my right, my eyes leave that room, and there in a brief instant, I see.

2 females. Maybe fairies? Imps? Nymphs? And these did not seem CGI. They seemed real - with dimensions and natural movements and what the heck ever else made them seem real and live.

Following is my impression- I have no idea what was going on, but here's how it seemed: It felt like they were beaming with joy. This happened so fast. They beamed at me, huge beautiful smiles, they covered their smiles with hands, and looked to each other with happiness. I'm getting goosebumps remembering it, because it was so real. I felt like they were so happy that I had started to maybe pick up on what must be, to them, a pre-school lesson. Like after these years, I was maybe starting to do this properly and to learn a little bit? So, I'm having this feeling of what - approval and love and joy from them? And with their joy, they are gone, and I'm left there, joyous, like always, but now I feel some approval????

So I slide to the floor and stretch out and relax and reflect... and decide to go again.

Similar dose, eyemask down, breathing after I exhale my dose...

And this time it's dark, like I've read often, and like my wife told me about one time. But I'm not frightened, I'm fine with it, just ride... And the blackness gets some neon green lines in it, kind of cool, but the mood is darkness still. Then other visuals, colors and fractals but still a darkish mood, huge rolling waves of darkness but with color, and I'm riding and fine.

And it is good, and I start to come back, and again, something in a corner catches my eye.

A different female. Near a wall of some sort. She's looking at me, worried brow. And she looks real, too. She doesn't have the CGI look. And she looks at me again, then to her left, there's a cord. Plugged in to the wall, and she looks at me then reaches to the cord. But she stops, and looks back at me again. Still a little worried but not so much? And then she's gone. And I'm left there... I'm fine...

Again, all I have is my impression: She was worried that I had trouble with the darkness? She was ready to 'pull the plug' make it stop? But didn't? My time in that journey was fading so she decided I was ok?

Anyway.

Maybe this very old and very thick skull can start doing some learning about all of this?

For certain, I must continue trying and exploring. Probably will over-do the dosage too, and let them toss me around once in awhile.
For certain, I will discipline the dosage, try to learn and understand.

I will hope.

Thank you nexus.
For everything.

" Enjoy every sandwich." - Warren Zevon
"No, they never did turn me into a toad." - Pete (O Brother, Where Art Thou?)
"Are you a time traveller?" "No, I think I'm more of a time prisoner." - Nadia Vulvokov (Russian Doll)
 

Live plants. Sustainable, ethically sourced, native American owned.
 
EntreNous
#2 Posted : 7/28/2017 1:51:59 PM

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Posts: 137
Joined: 22-Jul-2017
Last visit: 30-Jan-2021
Still figuring out the quote button.


"I'm not good with words, my best chance at describing it is a super-power, grabbing me by a hand, or a foot, tossing me about like a rag doll. And don't get me wrong, I'm loving it. But so much. Lights. Color. Joy. Love. Peace. Chaos. But I can't disobey their directions: They direct me to sing, I sing. They say chant, I chant. They say howl, do I ever howl. But I'm also on the floor, thrashing and laughing and loving it. So, hopefully you get the picture"

Sunnyside, your post makes me feel the way a Hemingway story does. Like "A clean, well lighted place". You are indeed good with words and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Be regular and orderly in your life, that you may be violent and original in your work. -Flaubert-

till next time , ahskě:nę hę ( Peace)
 
Daft Monkey
#3 Posted : 7/31/2017 12:03:50 PM

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Posts: 14
Joined: 18-Mar-2017
Last visit: 06-Sep-2018
Sunnyside wrote:
A different female. Near a wall of some sort. She's looking at me, worried brow.



I've read a few accounts where people who journey too often get warned not to or even blocked altogether. Might be what's happening here or not.

Great post though.
 
 
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