Hello friends,
Thanks for the opportunity to join this group. I read a lot on this forum and enjoying it.
The reason I start doing DMT is actually a sad story. My brother died 1.5 year ago during a fire.
He was 34 years old and ready to rumble this life. I didn't had the chance to say good bye.
A friend of mine told me there is a substance called dmt to talk to the past ones. I looked around but never found it. I tried ayahuasca but it was to soft for me. Did some research how to make DMT.
After a while I was able to make good quality DMT. The first 10 times I didn't breakthrough, only visuals. A try later i saw lots of Jesters but still didn't break through. I was disappointed and try to increase the dosis. I bought a new glass pipe, filled it with around 60 mg and another pipe also with 60 mg. Took 3 hits, heard the zooming sound and in the meantime i was heating the other pipe. BTW I was alone. I took one big hit of the second pipe and i felt such a warm feeling coming from my back to my neck. My head felt backwards and I remember telling myself; damn, why you took a overdose. Instantly i was in a place of light knowing i was broken through. I was in a place there are no words to describe it. My experience was super overwhelming and i was really scared and felt so small. I tried to speak but i couldn't move my mouth, like it was glued together, same with my hands. I was completely numb. I saw lots of entities before my brother showed me two options. The matrix or life on earth. I didnt saw my brother but felt him so clearly. In this place there was no time, no gravity, endless purity, felt like home, the place where I belong and where my brother is and where i will go when i leave earth. So I had to choose between the red and the blue pill. I so badly wanted to take the red pill to join my brother but to be there i had to give up all life feelings. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it because i have responsibility in my life, for my mother. I remember sawing the Creator before I felt my brother. I had no interest in the Creator, only to know if my brother was oke. The Creator let me go to feel my brother. My brother showed me the whole concept of life. So my struggle to let go and enter the matrix, the core, was identical to the struggle my brother had leaving earth. In my dmt experience i remember i screamed like never before, from the bottom of my soul, I screamed my lungs out. The pain, the lies, the love for my brother, the clarity of the concept of life. The missing. I finally understood. I don't know if i screamed in my experience or in the room i was in where i took dmt. Doesn't matter actually.
So, in this experience my brother forced me to let go my ego to get a insight of the matrix. Pfff it was so hard for me, i have such a big ego. I was hard but I succeed. I let go my ego, I showed all my secrets, i was naked. I want the truth i told my brother. I remember i was able to speak again. After I let go my ego i was really talking with my brother, at least I was speaking, he was there listening and I felt he could here me. He was speaking to me with a unknown energy i could understand. He showed me the matrix, the whole concept, the temporality of earth living. I told him i will visit him soon but i have to take care of our mother. He understood it very well. I was able to tell him i love him and i know now what to do. The only thing I have to do in life is be good, learn and relax. I wanted to leave now but I couldn't. I was still there. Then i saw the most beautiful things where are no words for. I couldn't open my eyes. They were forced to be closed to see it all. I saw it all. Then I cried again, because i saw the truth and the fakeness. Then i came back on earth, completely in shock, what the **** happened. I felt so humble, blessed but also scared. But the most important for me was in this experience that I was able to say goodbye to my brother. I know he is in a place that is good. Call it heaven, call it universe, call it matrix. Of Course this is my experience but it became my truth and I am happy. There are a lot of questions you maybe can help me with and i hope i can ask them here on this forum. Thanks a lot for reading my experience. Bye
To live you have to die first