That was really very interesting.
Don't know if it's too offtopic, but will write it anyways, please forgive me, if it is:
It seems I have a similar problem. I already had ego deaths, once on trypts (high dose shrooms) as well as several on phens. But on trypts (only done shrooms and DMT) the way there seems in my experience very hellish. It seems I have a strong ego.
Doing DMT, until now, I always get stuck in very fast moving fractalish spaces (red dominant), with repeating patterns in quick succession, and something like an evil noise (some kind of fast voice not understandable).
This always gets me the feeling, that some "evil" tricked me into doing this, and that I'm going to die/get insane, because of this.
E.g. I then get the feeling that all this DMT-Nexus people, and other forums, friends, etc. were all just a big evilish plan to get me doing this.
In this moment it seems reasoning doesn't make any sense anymore, as it is the ego, that makes the problems. And it seems the ego uses my cultural imprints that are the deepest rooted to make me frightened. So memories get up from the childhood, where some people told that friends of them got stuck on such a drug and remained crazy, etc. So as if to say: You have been warned many times before, if you do it anyways you will see what you get...
I'm well aware that this is the best way for my ego to push me away, but it's annoying.
The funny thing is, that when in this state and I say to myself: Relax and let go, immediately the visuals get much brighter (whiter) and closer and the noise pitch gets much higher and the optical speed gets much much faster, so that I immediately get thrown back.
IMHO also quite funny is, that when I'm in a mood where I have no anxiety at all (e.g. on MDMA) the ego tries instead to distract me with visual or thought stuff. So like "look here, look here, isn't that fascinating, [...], this is important, you have to remember this, etc.", so that I rather concentrate and don't let go and go further.
The one time on high dose shrooms where I did break through I really needed a big dose and I remember being in exactly the same state as with DMT, but then I finally did accept death and did let go, and then the middle of the visuals got brighter and brighter and I got into the famous light tunnel (as described from NDEs). From there I have a complete white out. I only remember shortly before coming back.
The problem as it seems to me is, that "letting go", as has been said before, is really not that simple at all, especially if you have a strong ego.
It also seems my ego has learnt in the meantime and doesn't anymore focus on the dying aspect but more on the getting insane aspect, for it learnt that it's easier for me accepting death than this.
What I thought is really funny is, that ego deaths on phens (as well as LSD) were for me completely different. There I always had the feeling that I expand more and more and unite with everything until "I" didn't exist anymore. This was never scary for me in any way.
I'm really wondering about these strong differences in ego dissolution.
I claim not that this is the truth. As this is just what got manifested into my mind at the current position in time on this physical plane. So please feel not offended by anything I say.