I have been here and out for a while. My other account was banned nearly a year ago. I came back with an apology and hat in hand.. Sent the right people emails and giving this another go. I was never disruptive, but I was making a larger deal out of the other side than it needed to be.

Before when I came here, I thought this was the answers to the life, the Universe and Everything.

Now I realize it is just 42.

I thought I was a shaman after spending a lot of time here and a couple of low dose Hoasca experiences and being able to master quite a few of the teks and harder to grow plat materials and fungi.

Then I met a real shaman from Brazil.. along with some of McKenna's close friends and realized I am nothing more than an esoteric junior chemist. However, I am striving for that shaman title within the next 10 years.

I had a lot of pain to get over, and I was able too. That will come with an experience report. I was on a quest for the truths of the Universe and I believe I found them in my own mind writhing around on the floor with a large group of individuals with their own problems.

I feel like I was given real knowledge and much of it can't be shared. I was told to stop trying to "break reality". I was shown behind the curtain, and I have peace I haven't felt in 3 years. My "mid life crisis" has come to an end and released into a "puke bucket" as I purged for 3 nights in a trial by fire and what I believe is a plant from the original garden.

I am back, I do believe I need mentors before I strike out on my own again, and I found many of them here. I have life long friends from here now, many who followed me outside of safety the Nexus provides and I would prefer that didn't need to happen again. I am going to do this right this time.

Honestly, I miss many of the people here. Though some of the words Bodhisativa stated became real and true once I was able to make it across to the other side. I can now ask my cannibas to help in and it seems to do exactly as I ask. I ask for comfort or stress relief I have it.. If I ask for sleep I get it immediately. I no longer abuse the substance and only smoke every few days instead of constantly. I have found there really are spirits in the plants... I am grateful they are here to help us.

I am not revealing my old identity (T knows as I sent him the inbox), even though I had many friends under that name, because I am not that person anymore. Also I didn't heed his warnings.

I am staying off of chat until I get permission, as that is what caused me to piss off the admins before, but understandable. Now that I have gone across, so many things make so much more sense.

I love you all. That is one thing that I can share from my visions in the jungle. It was all begun from love.

I will be posting my experience report from the jungle in a week or so, it's 7 pages and keeps getting bigger as I remember the minutia.


~[I thought I was a shaman until I met a real one]

The name is Met A Shaman.

hi and thanks for the awesome re-introduction i really enjoyed reading it.

you said you thought dmt was the answers to life, the universe, and everything, but then realized that it was "just 42."

I thought that 42 WAS the answer to EVERYTHING. I must be missing something here.

Is it really just a "pandora's box" more than anything else?

Welcome back my friend

I liked reading your post. It was filled with genuine insight and a level of honesty which is refreshing to say the least.

Having lived with a yuwipi medicine man for many years I can tell you it is not something many will tell you they did not aspire towards that title. In fact, many have tried to run from that responsibility.

On a lighter note, Fat Bottom Girl formerly known as Bitter Girl came out of cross 42.

With all of that being said, the answer actually is 42!

Welcome back my friend!

I once heard that you are not a shaman until someone else gives you the title. I don't think it is something to live up to, to aspire to, but more rather, something you give. A shaman can be so many things, but I think what defines a shaman is someone who has healed themselves and now can effectively heal others. If that is the path you want to travel, then by all means enjoy the road. I wish you the best in your endeavors.




Glad to have you back in this community!

I've heard that same saying myself DmnStr8.

With that being said, I'm still not sure I know what a shaman is in any real sense.

The way you define a shaman though, makes it sound like a very noble path indeed.

For me, I find I'm just more content to hang out with the plants and the animals as the human folk can be quite odd at times