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OfTheVoid46
#1 Posted : 3/20/2017 3:18:36 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 34
Joined: 14-Aug-2016
Last visit: 15-Dec-2017
Hey all.

How's everyone's day going?

I always figured that Introduction Essays should be a way to well, introduce yourself and to meet other folks but those go nowhere 99% of the time.

This site is serious and that's cool, it's part of why I like it but.. On my old account, there seemed to be a lot more discussion. Lately things just seem kind of dead or to-the-point.

I figured I'd say hi and try to "meet" more folks.

I'm working right now, going to take a break in about an hour to play some Star Ocean: The Last Hope on 360 for an hour.

I do computer crap - code, marketing, web design, server maintenance, etc.. I'm like a hillbilly hippie programmer or something Very happy.

Sooo, I get to break when I want and look forward to playing more of that game. It's a good RPG. Moderately updated but still with a little old-school style like, actually having to level up and being able to die instead of having a game that holds your hand and is 50% cut-scenes like a lot of newer RPGs.

ALSO shortly I have another package coming from one of my favorite netherlands suppliers.
Some more mimosa to stock up, some chacruna, chaliponga, yopo and I forget what else.

I have mimosa here already along with plenty of caapi and rue. I'm finding that while I've done significant amounts of DMT via vaporization and such, I really want Ayahuasca instead. Vaporizing DMT is neat and mind-blowing but it just doesn't last long enough.

I'm really hoping this Chacruna is good. I've never had good chacruna. Even these folks which always send quality, I've never got off from it. I start around 50g each time with at least 50g caapi. That amount of caapi always works for mimosa so it's not that...

But, I have the chaliponga for if the chacruna doesn't cut it.

Yopo, I've only made a few times in the past. I don't know if I'm not cooking it enough or what before deshelling it but it always comes out chunky, I haven't got it good enough to snort without cutting up my nose bad. I'ma take more time this time around.

Anyway .. life used to be shit. Boo hoo but, seriously.

Now I get up, start working early - in my boxers. I'm sitting here thinking about the package and break to come. I've got my two lovely kids and my fiance of 5 years (ya, we need to pull the trigger) sitting downstairs playing.

It's nice to wake up and be happy. Even my work after my break, I'm looking forward to. I love what I do.

So, hello everyone. I hope you're all having a good day/life.
If it's shit, keep your head up as they say. It will get better if you really try.

Don't accept what you can get. What you WANT, make happen.

Kind of just rambling out loud right now but that's basically the point of this post. Feel free to share what's on your mind, what you're up to, how everything is in life, etc.

I'll check back after my break!
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
ys
#2 Posted : 3/20/2017 4:06:15 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 132
Joined: 20-Feb-2016
Last visit: 24-Oct-2018
Location: nowhere like om
Good to hear from you

Glad that you're full and enjoying life

I feel very lost and stuck, in a transition to transformation of many aspects of this life

Trying to cleanse my body mind and soul before connecting with spirit again through entheogens

It's been a long strange trip with many more to come

Hopefully it will become clear again soon and inspiration returns

I wish you the best and for your path to continue its paradoxical pendulum

Namaste
 
OfTheVoid46
#3 Posted : 3/20/2017 5:22:04 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 34
Joined: 14-Aug-2016
Last visit: 15-Dec-2017
ys wrote:
Good to hear from you

Glad that you're full and enjoying life

I feel very lost and stuck, in a transition to transformation of many aspects of this life

Trying to cleanse my body mind and soul before connecting with spirit again through entheogens

It's been a long strange trip with many more to come

Hopefully it will become clear again soon and inspiration returns

I wish you the best and for your path to continue its paradoxical pendulum

Namaste


I have been very lost and stuck myself. Usually I would try to blame it on reasons beyond myself but it in a very cliche took me "looking at myself" to see I was the root of my problems.

I took a break from entheogens for a while before to figure out just what the hell I was doing/was going to do. I didn't start utilizing them again until things were a lot more positive in my life/around me.

At the same time, there were a couple times I used DMT/mushrooms during very dark/lost times and they really helped give me a kick in the ass I needed to get going (before I took a break). It was like they said "here's your problem, fix it" and any time I tried "going in" again after would just be negative experiences until I got stuff straightened out.

You say you feel very lost and stuck. Are you equally both, lost because you're stuck or stuck because you're lost? And no, not trying to be all riddle-like, that's a real question.

Do you have any long (or even short) term goals?
Something you want where you could look at the path leading to it - even if you have to start small - and then figuring out what the first step is towards getting there..? Kind of like, getting un-stuck/lost, one step at a time.
 
JustAnotherHuman
#4 Posted : 3/20/2017 5:42:54 PM

You create your own reality


Posts: 366
Joined: 17-Sep-2016
Last visit: 02-Sep-2023
Location: The Material Plane
OfTheVoid40, if you want to engage in moar laid-back discussions, check out the Chat. Top left corner of the Webpage.

Just a suggestion.Thumbs up
JustAnotherHuman is a fictional character. Everything said by this character should be regarded as completely fabricated.

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."-Benjamin Franklin.
 
ys
#5 Posted : 3/20/2017 6:09:14 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 132
Joined: 20-Feb-2016
Last visit: 24-Oct-2018
Location: nowhere like om
OfTheVoid46 wrote:
ys wrote:
Good to hear from you

Glad that you're full and enjoying life

I feel very lost and stuck, in a transition to transformation of many aspects of this life

Trying to cleanse my body mind and soul before connecting with spirit again through entheogens

It's been a long strange trip with many more to come

Hopefully it will become clear again soon and inspiration returns

I wish you the best and for your path to continue its paradoxical pendulum

Namaste


I have been very lost and stuck myself. Usually I would try to blame it on reasons beyond myself but it in a very cliche took me "looking at myself" to see I was the root of my problems.

I took a break from entheogens for a while before to figure out just what the hell I was doing/was going to do. I didn't start utilizing them again until things were a lot more positive in my life/around me.

At the same time, there were a couple times I used DMT/mushrooms during very dark/lost times and they really helped give me a kick in the ass I needed to get going (before I took a break). It was like they said "here's your problem, fix it" and any time I tried "going in" again after would just be negative experiences until I got stuff straightened out.

You say you feel very lost and stuck. Are you equally both, lost because you're stuck or stuck because you're lost? And no, not trying to be all riddle-like, that's a real question.

Do you have any long (or even short) term goals?
Something you want where you could look at the path leading to it - even if you have to start small - and then figuring out what the first step is towards getting there..? Kind of like, getting un-stuck/lost, one step at a time.


Equally both, entrapped in cycles of habituated action, negative thought, depression and anxiety about my incompetence, massive trust issues, a lack of love, a lack of inspiration, and a severely crippled ambition

I know roughly what to do or at least the actions that would yield the fruit I seek but the process has become, at least in my delusions, mundane and soul sucking, probably because I don't do them and have gained momentum elsewhere down the path that actually is mundane and soul sucking, forgetting the joy of working towards proficiency in what I love and would love to be able to do.

Imagine having everything figured out and on a beautiful trajectory with very tangible results deepening the momentum, and then falling from grace completely into a cataclysmic nightmare into confusion and doubt

It's very difficult to [as I reinforce the problem in my thinking by saying that] enjoy life internally and find myself caught up in cyclical mental and emotional delusions, where I reach for answers where I won't find them, already knowing what will save this life. I feel robbed of my energy and it's probably mostly my own fault. I've grown very impatient and accustomed to finding solace in distraction and the inessential, which catapults me deeper into a lack of satisfaction with my life as I age and realize what I've been neglecting. It's all, aside from being lost in it, a very conscious process.

I ought to just begin and follow through with what I know is right but it is for some reason excruciatingly difficult, probably due to neurological grooves carved by repeatedly choosing to fail

Sorry for the extremely depressing post/hi-jacking of your thread, lol. Hit me up on chat perhaps JAH is right, in spite of his thread about why we picked our forum avatars...Wut?

One Love family be Grateful
 
OfTheVoid46
#6 Posted : 3/20/2017 6:16:32 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 34
Joined: 14-Aug-2016
Last visit: 15-Dec-2017


I forgot this site had a chat Very happy
Hopping on.
 
TGO
#7 Posted : 3/20/2017 8:08:08 PM

Music is alive and in your soul. It can move you. It can carry you. It can make you cry! Make you laugh. Most importantly, it makes you feel! What is more important than that?

Welcoming committee

Posts: 2562
Joined: 02-May-2015
Last visit: 04-Sep-2023
Location: Lost In A Dream
OfTheVoid46 wrote:


I forgot this site had a chat Very happy
Hopping on.


Also, don't forget about this:

ATTITUDE Page wrote:
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