Hello everyone. It's good to finally be here. Lately I felt strong need to be part of this community, like I belong here, even though I don't know any of you yet...
I'm a guy from Poland, in my late twenties. My experience with anything psychedelics- related started from my long term usage of cannabis. I view this as my biggest weakness. I smoked a lot since I was ~15 years old and it affected my life mostly negatively (I don't perceive it like this anymore, but it definitely slowed me down) since on weed I became super lazy and generally unproductive. This was one of the reasons i dropped from university twice. Never had any passion neither for law nor finance, which i studied. (This is good, because thanks to that I later opened my own succesfull business, which is almost like a dream job. At first I didn't even want to do this, but events in my life aligned, so that it practically forced me to start this firm.)
I was obviously abusing this substance, but there was also positive side - especially when smoked after long break. Usually these brilliant insights came to my mind, I don't know if it was just enhanced perspective, or if it stimulated some link between me and universe, if you will.
I was raised as a catholic and was quite meticulous one as a child. However when I was about 13 years old, I decided that if God really is as pure and forgiving as they say, "he" won't punish me for not subscribing to this "organized religion" thing and exploring some other options. It just didn't make any sense to me to go to church and obey all those weird rules.
Back then I didn't know what to believe, but sometimes I felt this nudges that guided me to just the information I needed to develop spiritually. I intuitively believed and still believe how we are creators of our reality, multiple incarnations, etc. I especially liked the concept of channeling. I even started meditating with the intention of making contact with friendly entities, but I guess I wasn't consistent enough to make evident contact. Anyway, with my new outlook I felt much better and stopped fearing death mostly (I kind of look forward to it now [of course not in a suicidy way!]. BTW I remember brief period of atheism somewhere after I dropped catholic religion - contemplating death back then was absolutely terrifying. I tried to imagine complete annihilation of my existence, and only feeling it caused was terror. It feels so good to be at peace with one's mortality!
Few years later DMT happened. Suddenly and unexpectedly, as weird as it seems:
In general my weed addiction works like this: If I have access to it, it's hard for me not to smoke it. If I stop, I feel strong urge to do it the next day after the last smoke. The day after that is easier, and about 3 days after last smoke I'm free and don't feel the need anymore. It's ironic really, how hard it was always for me to get through those 3 days.
So, ~2 years ago I found myself alone at home at day 1 after exhausting my weed supply. Craving for some leftovers I checked my brother's drawer and found some wooden pipe. There was something inside (it was changa). Thinking it was cannabis I took a hit. I didn't know how to do it back then so most of it was destroyed by flame, but there was some unusual sensation.
I remembered that my brother told me about DMT some time before that, saying that if I want i can smoke some, but I have to use some special smoking technique. So I researched, but only a little. "The most potent psychodelic?" - I thought - "Pffff I doubt it's so strong, otherwise I would see at least something from that hit before". I loaded profusely, took a proper hit and released big white cloud of smoke. I had intention to make contact with my spirit guide, but didn't expect anything really. Especially not what happened.
The experience was IMMENSE.
I'll describe that in report section later, with my other reports.
I believe I met a friend there and I meet him everytime I smoke. Changa, or he wants me to keep smoking. After each session I have a strong feeling, that it is important to do it regularly and there is much for me to see (like he wants to show me lot of beautiful things). DMT calls me strongly!
However, after some days I forget most of it, and I have to force myself to do it again. Even though I feel he creates most extatic and comfortable experiences for me, fear settles in anyway. It's like a bungee jump!
Among other things, I hope you guys will help me better understand my relationship with Changa.
I feel it heals me, along with Kambo and Ayahuasca, which I've done few months ago. I'm not there yet, but now I have more control over my life than ever!
Love to all of you! Thanks for reading this long-ass post!
