Yesterday i smoked 40mg of yellow freebase dmt (some is leftover could'nt take it all) and got a breaktrough. This time i didnt went to the void wich i thought was as intense as it gets, but damn you cannot describe your trip, theres nothing that can get even close as intense. Maybe death itself. Its just not possible to describe a dmt trip in human language i understand that now, however i try to tell you what i actually can bring out of it into english.
So to sum it up, what im writing is not only innacurrate because i cant find words to describe it, but also because it is hard to remember every detail out of a dmt trip. Some things may mix up when you come back.
My set wasnt the best, as i had a mild flu and some pressure on my head. Not real headdaches but it felt pressured. Also i went into it without intention i didnt went for a while and just smoked it so i dont build up so much anxiety for not using it so long. Well i learned dont go without intention, guys listen what the people on the internet say, that did the mistakes before.
So i after some meditation i was ready but my dog joined me for a quick cuddle i didnt want to send him away so i just cuddled/meditated further for like 40 minutes, then he left. it was 22:00 by now and it was actually so late that i didnt really wanted to do it anymore as i needed to work the next day, but i went for it anyway as i would just push it in front of me otherwise.
At roughly 22:00 i lighted the 40mg waited until some smoke builded up and took one huge hit. I immedietly felt it hard i laid the pipe down and held the smoke in. I directly laid down as i felt im loosing my body control. I exhaled when i could'nt hold it anymore i dont know how many second that were as my eyes where already closed and the visuals already kicked in hard.
I think i went trough like a mandala and ended up in a room which i remembered beeing before. I think i didnt had a single trip on dmt now wich i didnt remember "beeing before". However there where like 3-5 (cant remember exactly) entities standing in the room staring at me. They looked quite scary (wich i only realised after fully coming back and drawing them) but i didnt feel threathened in any way by them.
The room was like a real crazy neon blue colour with greenish thingis that always transformed themselves. The greenish thingis were kinda like the wall. I felt there is a door behind the entities but i didnt see it. The first thing i thought about when i entered the room was: "This looks like an emtpy kindergarten room." The entities formed some time after i entered the room. In my right vision i saw a long (very long unlimited long) hallway that constantly changed colours and descended into infinity. I felt it was not another room but another dimension that i experience at the same time. In that room there was a neon colour changing guy on a computerchair riding down the hallway, enjoying himself. This may doesnt sound amazing and a bit silly, but thats just because of the language barrier, you must be there to believe it, its just so crazy amazing.
Also i tried to draw the room digitally, but my drawing skills, especially on pc, suck balls so it isnt even close even closely close to what i saw. But its at least something.
So in the room i felt 4 dimensional and i was like "So thats what the 4th dimension is, how could you every describe this in words damn." I was amazed by all the stuff that was going on and there was a lot of stuff going on the things im writing down are the only ones i clearly remember.
I looked at the beeings and they looked at me. They werent talking to me as in human language but they were clearly saying to me what do you want here why are you here? And then it hit me, i went into there without intention. I got a little nervous and just repeated the stuff i said the last time i broke torugh. I wasnt there the last time i broke trough, i went to the void the last time wich is a completly different experience. However they looked at each other i noticed they know already what i said and i just repeated myself. So they look again at me as in "what are you doing here?" i tried to move my fingers out of nervousity and then things shortly went down somewhat. When i moved them they just fell apart. I felt how they felt of my body and rolled away. It was a extreme weird feeling cause body part of me where now rolling under me. I can feel them rolling under me even tough they're seperated from the rest. I tried to speak but somehow touched 1 tooth with another with made them also fall apart in a way you may experienced in a nighmare (dream) before if you had that kind of nighmare one time in your life. After my teeth hit the ground transformed and ran around the rest of my body also fell completly apart.
That was the moment i was sure, damn im dead. I know this place because im here the last itme im dead and now i died again. I forgot how i was and everything was becoming extremly intense. But then i played a thing in my head i'm trying to teach myself over years. I hope to not forget this live when i die so here and there like a reality check i remember myself to think as much as i can about the important things in my life to not forget them and at least take them into the next one if i must be reborn and there is no heaven/nirvana or at least if those places are denied to me.
So i remembered my dog, that grounded me, i tried to speak to him and heard the relaxation music i was playing. I heard and in the distance and noticed that it was playing out of another dimension. Its hard to describe how you know thats its coming from another dimension but i knew it sounded like that. There were sounds in the dmt dimension too, but i just cant remember them. I really love that i remember so much visual stuff on my first breaktrough but the only thing i remember about the sound was that they sounded very digital. Like an old amiga commodore game or something. Also everything looked somewhat digital there.
The entities started to telepathicily poke my teeth somewhat wich i could feel all over the place, i had the feeling they tried to annoy me, or teach me a lesson because i went in there without intention.
There was a brief moment where i just wanted back, that was when things felt like an eternity. Also i lost track of who i am again. I dont know if its because i am somewhat experienced in meditating but again as soon as i forgot who i am i tried to focus go trough memorys "i know im in dmt world" "i wont stay like this forever" "fighting it makes it worse let it happen" also i searched for things to ground me and heard the relax music from the other dimension "as long as you heard this that means there hasnt much time passed". I somehow grounded myself again and relaxed somewhat, that made things better again.
My lesson was learned and i tried to take the best out of it, so i asked "Is there something i should remember? Is there something i should take back with me?" Thats when the entities began to fade and from the top right a kind of cosmic space began to overtake my vision. My visuals went back to stuff you see when you're on a lower dose and i saw a female head with crazy hair (like andariel from Diablo 2) evily laughing at me. I didnt feel fear or threathened by it tough. I was kinda confused why i see this now.
After that i went into a tunnel, a vortex, hard to describe. There where circles pusling away from me building the tunnel and there where 4 oval shaped things in front of me. Like a four leaved clover that lost its leaves and kept the exact distance to each other. Also there where some clouds in the background. I felt entities all around me when i was in that vortex i forgot who i was for a time again. The vortex felt pretty long. After that i regained my concoiusness and remembered who i was. But i didnt wanted to open my eyes as i still felt how loaded i was. I had the usual low dose faces you see on dmt and didnt want to open my eyes and see faces somewhere. The expirience was intense enough i didnt want to fight open eye visuals now. At one point i just opened my eyes because i thought "fuck it this feels like eternety" I opened them and had heavy LSD like visuals. But no faces or something.
In later thought processes i feel like the vortex was my soul flying trough dimensions back into this dimension back into my body. And the entities i felt, where other people (or beeings) also flying trough dimensions with their souls. Thats what i think at least.
I immedietly tried to write down what happened but i was still so loaded that it was to hard to move. I just lay back again and relaxed somewhat and enjoyed the CEV's after some time i felt lighter and got better control over my body so i took my pencil and wrote... "Wow." That was literally all i can think of. I tried to find words, but i just didnt find any way to write down what just happened. I knew that dmt experiences are lost fast if not written down so i thought of something to do. So i drew the dmt entities and the room i was in. Then i took my mobile and recorded as much as i could here and there i even spoke in full sentences
.
After fully coming down i looked at what i drew:
Little edit: X1 is where the computerchair guy had his fun.
X2 is where the entities stood.
X3 is how the wall patterns looked like, well they constantly transformed tough
I thought to myself: "Damn that are some scary looking mofos" but i only realised that when looking at them at least 80-90% sober. Also like i said i didnt feel threathened by them in any way in dmt world. I wrote everything i remember and the things i spoke on the mobile down when i was fully down. That was at ~23:00. Btw i came back somewhat around 22:20 or so, so the trip lasted a maximum of 20 minutes maybe 10 or 15. But it surely felt like a long long time.
Here is the picture i tried to draw digitally, but again please note, i have close to 0 drawing skills and even i was picasso there is no way to 100% draw dmt world the way you saw it. The picture you're about to see isnt even close to what it looks like its like seeing a cavemen drawing about a hunt in a cave. But at least its something.
So its getting late and bedtime is long overdue. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm not going trought he text again to search it for errors if you see any errors that take the sence out of a sentence tell me and i will correct it the next time im on here.
Goodnight volks.
