When I start to feel it come on get intense I start thinking a lot about the foundations upon which the experience is set...

Namely, that I am a multi-celled lifeform that is based upon atoms which I know not what they are made of or originated from and most importantly, that I do not understand who is doing the looking behind my eyes. I have a profound sense of fear of how uncertain everything is. I feel I will be traumatized by the revealing of this "secret" knowledge, as if it was never meant to be known and will cause me harm to find out.

Check out this link for an awesome experience report that relates to what you have said.
http://the-nexian.me/hom...k-god-for-forgetfulness

What if there's nothing to find out to begin with and the mystery already exists?

It's okay to feel like this, though. Altering consciousness with mind-heart and body expanding properties is a major and sudden change. Sometimes, a year or longer of processing can still take place, and is good for observing all of the aspects to work and integrate with. One cannot experience the positive without seeing the negative. From the cellular to the perception of the cellular. The micro to the macro.

You'll be alright. Trust yourself.

Imo, it's not even really you who is scared of being traumatized the the revealing of the secret information, rather it's the ego. The ego is scared of being dissolved, even if only temporarily, so it fights and one has trouble just letting go.

Couldn't agree more. It seems our egos have a natural survival instict. This is by no means a bad thing and helps me to turn my apprehention and anxiety into more positive anticipation and excitment. I know not only that the experience will happen, but also that it will end and I will return to baseline.

Meditation seems to me to be the best tool for getting used to letting go. Best of luck!

The intensity can be off-putting in some scenarios. I think the local environment and/or setting we do this in has more bearing on the experience than we realize, sort of like the experience is 90% preparation/setting/surroundings, with the other 10% being how the actual experience unfolds. Not saying that the experience's contents is some sort of guised representation of the things which surround the person when they go under, but that the level and/or trajectory that the experience chooses to take you is heavily influenced by the setting, meaning - the setting in alot of ways, at least in my experience is akin to a steering wheel for the said experience. Scents, objects, room dynamics/size/color, room shape, orientatation of the individual to the said room or environment - I think these attributes of the given space in many ways begin to drive the experience before it even begins.

Who is behind the eyes looking out? It's a mystery. Who is the thing that insists itself to be this separate entity when it seems to be nothing more than a series of continuous ever-changing thoughts, completely ephemeral, ever-transforming. When thoughts cease and come to a complete standstill, what's left? When the thoughts are no longer there, in complete stillness, who's there? Is there even an "I"? Uncertainty is what life hinges on ime. The Mystery is imbued throughout life, it is life. No need to go looking for 'the secret'. It's everywhere..

True, the question therefor is how to not be taken back by it, to not be mortified by it and scared to experience the mystery. I guess Leithen has it right with meditation as a good tool for learning to be comfortable with it this uncertainty.

YOU are part of the mystery - the mystery is you. Therefore, why be afraid of yourself? Fear of the unknown is a natural human emotion but when you realize the mystery is not unknown - but a core part of your being - the fear dissipates.

The cat walks relaxed and unexpectedly notices the own reflection in the mirror, jumps up four legs of the ground, screeches and frighten away, hearth beating thinking "WTF was that??"

I tell myself in advance: nothing is new, everything is already there and active, except for the noticing/seeing. Also that my emotions will have the chance to get snowballed in size and representation. In pre meditation I put a request for them to stay balanced as in please don't let me jump up like that cat when I meet finally my own energy.

Meditation, some art of intense personal focus; all lead to similar avenues.

For me personally, I just live my life, laugh, stay active, experience things by myself and with others. That has worked better for me than anything else tbh.



@a1pha - Spot on.

This is a good thread. Close the thread mods before it goes off trail! LOL


Reading Material : https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=70805