PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: nervous, but sort of confident
(physical condition) Set: a bit tired
Setting (location): home
time of day: 10:00pm
recent drug use: none
last meal: coconut oil-fried plain chicken breast at 4:00pm

PARTICIPANT
Gender: male
body weight: 70kg
known sensitivities: n/a
history of use: novice

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Yellow-strain Ayahuasca, Santo Daime-strain Chacruna
Dose(s): 80 grams, 8 grams
Method of administration: brewed liquid


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 for the first dose of three cups
T=12:00 for the second dose of three cups
Duration: 6 hours for the first dose
6 hours for the second dose
First effects: T=1:00 for the first dose
T=12:20 for the second dose
Peak: T=2:00-4:00 for the first dose
T=13:00-16:00 for the second dose
Come down: T=4:30 for the first dose
T=17:00 for the second dose
Baseline: ??

Intensity (overall): 2
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 2
Unplesantness: 3
Visual Intensity: 1


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0, the effects simply faded away slowly
Afterglow: 2, my intuition was still very much at work


REPORT

Saturday night and Sunday morning I journeyed with Mother Ayahuasca again... and it was quite powerful. I had imagined... but imagination was useless. It could not have prepared me for this journey. I could only experience it raw... I decided to use 80 grams of Ayahuasca and 8 grams of Chacruna, just doing what felt right.

Friday evening, I did my first 3 hour wash, using a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, and then afterwards put the vine in the freezer. Had a good sleep, then awoke and continued, being gently pushed to do so. I did the second wash, then put the vine back in the freezer. Then I had a late lunch of plain chicken breast. Afterwards, I did my final wash, starting to brew the Chacruna after the first hour.

T=0:00

I then drank, after some trepidation. After I had two cups of Ayahuasca, I mixed the Chacruna with the rest, and had one cup. The effects came on later than I expected, probably because of the chicken. I grew impatient, but when the feeling of the brew hit, I berated and forgave myself, then meditated for a while, occasionally being distracted by the computer, checking the internet and playing random icaros. Growing bored, I went back to meditation. After a while of floating with whatever images came to mind, I came upon this garden, with small snakes flowing, criss-crossing up a small tree in a pot... then a larger snake came down, stared directly at me, pinning me with its gaze, and slithered through thin-air towards me. The moment it stared at me, I knew somehow that it was Mother Ayahuasca. My mind was blank, in momentary shock, but the snake quickly slithered in through my head, causing a shiver to run down my body. The voice that spoke then seemed amused at my wonder, comfirming my suspicions, even as I doubted. I decided to surrender, just letting her do her work.

T=1:30

After some time, I layed on my bed, feeling tired, seemingly not feeling Mother Ayahuasca's presence anymore. Out of nowhere, I felt an very odd sensation rip through my body. An electric vibration that roared to life. I saw my body with normal vision, but simultaneously saw through it, with faint skeins of energy flowing. I did not see it after that, only feeling it.

I felt open and exposed, the energy and my mind having no strictly defined physical boundaries seemingly, but only a tapering off... I heard sounds in the background... vibrating waves of energy... or at least, my sensing of the energy? Not sure quite how to describe it... it was overwhelming at first... though it felt oddly familiar somehow... somehow. Various thoughts shot through my mind, to and fro, voluntary or involuntary, I know not. I thought of a tiger... and that thought came to life in my mind's eye. Then, I saw an eye... the Eye of God, perhaps? I am uncertain of what I saw, then... memories are hazy.

T=2:00-6:00

What I do remember, that night, is meeting a group of people, spirits, souls, I have no idea... they said that I was one of them... which made no sense to me. The environment I saw them in looked like a closet or something... I was fine... until I had an involuntary emotional outburst... the energy peaking in my chest... with the lead of the group telling me in an alarmed voice to calm down. I was experiencing some odd mental dissonance, but I trusted Mother Ayahuasca, or whoever the calm voice that spoke belonged to... this voice spoke to me throughout the rest of my two journeys. Many times, I longed to purge, but could not. Looking into the bucket brought dark, strange thoughts that were simultaneously quirky and clown-like... like a circus loaded with black, jovial humour... very weird. When it became intolerable, the voice told to just set it back down away from me and those feelings immediately vanished. I remember little more than this from that night...

T=6:00

Fell asleep.

T=10:30

I still had a few cups of the combined brew left, but I needed water, so next morning, waking after only 4 hours, but with plenty of energy suprisingly, I walked to the shops. I was slightly hesitant at first, due to still feeling energetically open, but the voice said I would be fine as long as I wrapped a cloak of protective energy around me and focused primarily on that. It turned out to be rather easy, but needed lots of concentration.

T=12:00

Once I got back home, I drank the rest of the brew, remembering the reverse tolerance effects. After ten or so minutes, the open-energy state suddenly popped back as if it had never stopped. This was to be the real purge... I cycled through various heavy, dark emotions. Right before the onslaught began, I asked if I could avoid making loud noises and I was told everything would be fine, to just flow with it. I did so... and it was painful. At times, I just wanted to purge desperately and be done with it, because it hurt inside so, so much... I writhed, cried silently and writhed some more. At some point, I became aware of next doors birds squarking away and the dogs in the street barking, and I realized that my energy might be going rampart. With effort, I calmed my energy, and at once, it stopped at once.

T=14:00

At some point, I was directed to hold onto my little jade-coloured tiger figurine I got from the crystal shop. It had a calming, focused, tiger-like energy, but whether or not that was my projection onto it, it mattered not. I held onto it through most of the purging. Eventually, I vomited twice... and once I did, I felt much lighter. The energy-wave-sound-feeling was still strong. I just sat in my chair, calmly surveying my mind, while the voice continued to speak.

I met that group again... except I did not have an outburst this time. It felt... peaceful and happy. A celebration of sorts. Nearby, I could seemingly feel the presence of one of the birds that the family next door had found as a chick, raised, then released. He still hangs around their house. His energy was bright-feeling and strong... certainly a distinctly bird-like energy, though it is the first time I have felt it.

My companion was an Aloe Vera cactus that, throughout the two journeys, soothed, calmed and at one point... sang to me? Sitting beside it, I could almost see it moving... subtly. It was alive... and I could faintly feel a presence of sorts. Faintly, but it was there. Not that I could hope to really understand it...

Thanks for reading!

Hi there and welcome to the nexus!

your report reminded me of a lot of past experiences and resonated with me deeply and made me long to be back there some day

Ayahuasca's a truly amazing teacher, the depth it can go is completely endless and it seems to know exactly what you're in need of at any moment, sometimes it's not immediately apparent but as days go by and you work on your integration (very important!) things start making more and more sense as unconscious memory comes back into your concious and for me at least I understand why I was given / show what I was and how I need to change my way of life before coming back.

Do you plan on mostly working with aya or have you interest in other methods too?

Thanks, Pile of cats.


Do you still drink Ayahuasca? I am curious... what kind of past experiences, if you do not mind me asking?


Since that journey, I have been having moments of hearing random voices not related to my intuition, but I just regard them as part of an ongoing healing process. So, I just keep myself open to the flow, and do everything I can not to suppress or repress the energy I feel, no matter what it is, as long as I am aware it is coming from me. If it is coming from elsewhere, I know I can just wrap myself in a visualized white protective cloak of energy.


Well, that depends of how easily I can source my plants, grow them and extract. Importing Ayahuasca is impossible at the moment, so I have to rely on my very limited supply of vine and Chacruna leaves... other psychedelics I have no current easy access to, unless I have the confidence to grow them... which is a bit of annoying fun, because I currently humming and harring over what soils, pots and such I need to buy to grow healthy plants... and cannot decide. I have a bit of perfectionist streak, and that gets in the way constantly... maybe I just need to take a step back and breathe...

Integration will certainly take a long while, I think, given how I currently feel. There was no particular lesson I had to learn, I think... though, in the afternoon, I felt compelled to shuffle my deck of Tarot cards... as soon as I touched them, I had thoughts of choices and decisions running through my mind... after I finished shuffling, the card I drew from the top was sixth major arcana, the Lover, which has everything to do with decisions... an awesome bit of synchronicity there... I also got a lecture from my intuitive voice about choices and decisions while I rinsed my dishes... the brew had mostly worn off, but my intution was certainly still happily dishing out advice.

The imagery of snakes, shivers running down the body, and the large energetic content is very reminiscent of kundalini. Perhaps thinking of the snake in this light will help to elucidate some things for you.

Interesting... many years prior, I had thought it would be great to awaken the kundalini serpent... until it happened partially. It went the whole way up my spine, but somehow it did not feel like the real thing, but rather, a taste of what the whole buffet could be, magnified by a thousand. After that, impressed, partially worried that I could not handle the real deal, I gave up trying to forceably awaken it, thinking that I could really mess myself up without easy recovery.

As for the snake, You may indeed be onto something. In another perspective, why could it not have been kundalini and the vine's spirit represented in one symbolic scene?

Thanks for this perspective, Global!

Definitely. I wasn't there so you are in the best position to make any calls. The great part of DMT symbolism, and what makes it so tricky is how deep the layers of symbolism can go. I have no doubt that there are other ways to look at it too. I've seen snakes in a variety of contexts. From my personal experiences, lions seem to be central to my hyperspace animal encounters.

I was just thinking and pondering. Should have made that clearer. Speaking via text is quirky like that...


Which is half the fun!


Lions? Interesting...