Over the past few days I've had a handful of experiences ranging in different intensities. I've come to find the "trip report" style of discussing my single experiences as a bit drab and an exercise rooted in the ego like few other styles of writing are - so in the interest of reporting on such an ego-obliterating compound as 5-MeO-DMT, I've decided to offer my notes on some early experiments with the God Molecule.
*nn-DMT and 5-MeO-DMT are quite a bit more similar than many of their proponents would have led me to believe. Their onset is startlingly similar, with 5-MeO-DMT coming on only slightly more quickly. Having heard many stories of people blacking out with the pipe still in their hand, I was always able to set it down before its effects were unleashed, and really a big hit of 16mgs 5-MeO-DMT feels just like the third hit of nn-DMT in terms of how the drug jumps up on you - the only difference is you start the hit at complete baseline with 5-MeO-DMT
*With that said, they're just as different as one could imagine. nn-DMT is colorful, more colorful than a kaleidoscope. And it's penetrable. Even on high breakthroughs of DMT if a friend comes over and shakes me and calls my name, I'll have a vague sense of what is happening. In that sense, or "release dose" of 5-MeO-DT is impenetrable. I feel as though at its peak one could be dropped in a tub of icecubes and not be able to separate themselves from its heights.
*Some people say that 5-MeO-DMT is't visual. Even on low doses of 5-MeO-DMT, the hallucinations are wild and fantastic. The visuals strike me as crystalline and intricate, like the quartz gems I used to collect as a kid stretching into infinity in every single direction. In fact, infinity seems to permeate every notion of the peak of the experience, so I suppose it only makes sense that it extends to the visuals. What separates it from the shapes and colors show of nn-DMT is that when I return, the hallucinations are not one of the first few things I feel compelled to discuss or think about.
*The 5-MeO-DMT experience is perhaps the most "pure" experience I can imagine a chemical inducing within a person. It is so sharp and refined and driven to a perfect point of a crystalline being that it feels as though one is existing without any of the trappings that sensory input, anxieties, emotions, interpersonal relationships, works, art, and everything else that cloud the mind of an individual that is able to Exist (only.) I understand why people refer to it in very non-dualistic, ego-death-y language: At it's peak I exist as pure being. If the fractal exists through all of life and continues to branch and continue itself forward exponentially; at the peak of the 5-MeO-DMT experience I am the sole defining point at the center of that fractal before branching out is a possibility.
*The 5-MeO-DMT experience is earth-shatteringly physical, and euphoric. My heatrate spikes and I feel as though I cannot breathe. The breathing part seems to bother me a whole lot less than I'd imagine it would if I were only reading this. It is vibratory and electric. It starts as a rapid pulse that is electrifying the body as one is blowing out their hit, and by the time a second breath cycle has passed, that electric pulse has accelerated to become the most high frequency tone which successfully shatters reality apart; the same way that tuning forks crack glass in slapstick cartoons - my existence has been struck with some frequency which has shattered it all apart. And it feels GREAT! (I could imagine this compound being addictive to a specific profile of person for this reason alone.)
*There's a bit of anxiety I have not figured out how to avoid when I begin to return to my body, in which I have one toe still in this pure state of being and one toe in my physical shell with a pipe in its lap. Also, there was one occasion where I was slightly unsettled as I feel into the wake of the 5-MeO-DMT high. Were it not for my familiarity with how to recognize the creep of a troubling tryptamine experience due to hanging onto the physical world for too long during the comeup, I can imagine the nightmare which could have ensued - and I could see how the electric bliss of feeling as if I am a lightning bolt that shoots in every direction always could instead manifest into a being torn by my teeth nightmare where my physical body was robbed of me (in lieu of my Self simply letting go of it.)
*I have tried this chemical both indoors and outdoors. nn-DMT has always struck me as a drug best experienced indoors, as I can limit any extraneous stimuli which may hinder my experience. Conversely, I feel as though 5-MeO-DMT is best experienced outdoors as during the comedown nature takes on a beauty that plain robs me of my breath. As I return to my body I can visibly see the connection between myself and nature through the fractals that seems to twist and interlock as I breathe in and out (because the plants and tress, too, are breathing in and out and together we're in a dance that both is moved by and moves the fractals that connect us.)
*Much like my experience with any other drug that's worth doing, what people have said about 5-MeO-DMT is entirely true and at the same time I had the experience worked out all wrong in my head.
I plan to continue to do more work with this compound, including insufflated and sublingual administration, as well as confirming its synchronicity with DMT, LSD, and psilocybin. It's a marvelous compound, wholly worthy of its title "The God Molecule", yet one which I could see being appreciated by a smaller audiences than nn-DMT.
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." -lovecraft