Preface:
I like to post trip reports because it helps me integrate the experience by writing or typing it up. I figured I'd share it with you all. My first two trips were of low dosage, and I used spice that I obtained at a music festival. This time it was spice I extracted myself, and more specifically, I used the "left-over" goo while the re-x was still in the freezer. I did not weigh it out, it was very sloppy, like hash oil that's been out in the sun all day. I figured there would be very few alks left in this goo sample, so i just put a fat glob of it between two layers of green tea leaves in the bowl of a small water pipe.

The Tokes:
The goo / tea leaf combo burns slow, almost like hash. It is more harsh on the lungs that the pure crystals, however the come up was slower and due to this I had more confidence than usual to take many consecutive tokes.

I look at the bowl and the embers become bright orange crystals, I look around the room for a moment to confirm my mental state, and then hand the bowl off to a friend.

The Trip / Ritual:
I close my eyes and the tunneling mandala of colored bricks whizzes by faster than ever before and keeps speeding along until it gives way to a new space.

This space is filled with several beings, or at least the forms of beings, these apparent beings are not entities. They are lifeless shells. They orbit a center point, and as they make passes by each other in their orbit they meld in and out of each other. Slowly the focal point pulls them closer and closer. they begin to meld in and out of each other more quickly.

Eventually they all meld in to one at the center and take the form of the empty shell of a man. The empty shell I am speaking of is not figurative, imagine the idea of a cookie cutter: an outline with a lot of negative space in the center.

This man is still and lifeless, however waves of multi-colored light begin radiating out of him. This radiation overcomes the background of the space until all that is seen is the man at the center with light radiating outwards.

Satan is Birthed:
The man then begins to burn. The light radiating out from him melts in to flame. The flames transform in to what I can only describe as the devil or Satan. The more the trip-scape burns, the more defined this Satan figure becomes. Eventually life is breathed in to him completely, and he instantly focuses on me.

I am terrified. He looks to me and raises his hands and without words or gesture, he somehow conveys to me "Hey you, watch this, I am going to burn everything that exists" He then proceeds to wave his hands around the space just lighting it all on fire. The space is only fire.

At first I am terrified he is doing this to the space around me. but then he begins to wave his hands towards me and I begin to burn, it does not feel like a physical burning, but instead a mental burning of everything I know. He sets fire to my memories, emotions, ideas, thoughts.

They are not destroyed, but they are in anguish and I feel anguish through every thought I think. If anyone here has ever felt the comedown of unclean molly, imagine that feeling x 1000.

The Comedown:
Before I know what is what my eyes are open again. I hear my friends in the other room talking, and every few words turn in to word salad. EX: "Dude, I can't believe that wersa gifvberdish lazoop...". All sound I hear is registered as being heard from a single point at a time, like a speaker is being revolved around my head in a soundproof room. There is stringy floaty stuff in the empty spaces of the room where there should only be air. Like ectoplasm from the movies. Slowly this stuff reduces down to nothing, my hearing normalizes, and I am left with an unsettling afterglow for the rest of the evening.

Reflection and Thoughts:
Three other people had tried the goop after me, nobody had a bad experience. Although nobody else's experience was as intense as mine either.

Set and setting may have been poor. I was quite comfortable with trying it, however I didn't prepare myself to try it. I was actually a little frustrated at the time that my extract gave me so much goo instead of crystals.

"Do not give way to astonishment." Well shit, I'm pretty sure I gave way to that. Astonished and terrified, and I feel like I may have fed the flame so to speak by being so afraid.

On the come down I thought to myself, "I think I'm just gonna give my tek materials to my friend, dmt is not for me, never wanna do that again."

Only a week later I already want to give it another go. I have to learn how to surrender to the experience. It is hard for me to grasp how to do this. I feel if I keep delving in to hyperspace, overtime I will get better at observing but not letting it overcome me.

The speed at which this very cartoon like Satan was burning everything was actually quite comical as a visual spectacle. If I could have laughed at how ridiculous it was at the time, maybe I wouldn't have been so terrified.

Comments, advice, and perspectives are all welcome. Thank you for reading!

Yeah, ime setting is really important. Depths, motifs, messages; all the various things that can spin forth in the experience are in alot of ways contingent upon how well the setting is maintained. Not that this is a surefire way to have a positive experience, but it'll go in your favor.

Yeah, many of us have been there with the "im done with this stuff", yet curiosity prevails. The experience favors the intrepid explorer. Trust in the experience, no matter how much it may be wrattling ya' during. Hold your ground, stand tall, and smile and let it take hold; no matter how it feels. Don't go in with any pre conceived notions or have any during. Trust in the experience, it knows the difference.

And remember.

Smoalk moar.

Thanks for the input and reassurance

When the feeling arises that i should smoalk again, I will. I like to give it a week or two for me to settle back down from awestruck to curious again.

If there is any contribution I can make to this forum it will be lengthy trip reports for now. I love reading them, there are others who too love reading them so yeah this is gonna be my objective on here for a little while

Reading stuff like this makes me want to try DMT so badly again, ik it was a scary experience but you gotta understand you're the one creating it all, these visuals/thoughts aren't being put into your conscience. I hope I get to travel again some time soon... I only scratched the surface and I was overwhelmed.

I understand it all comes from within. My trouble is figuring out a train of thought to remind myself that it is all from within, and nothing can hurt me in hyperspace. I need to come up with a mantra of sorts to keep me focused. next time I try it i will meditate beforehand and repeat in my mind: "It comes from within, pay attention" and see how that works if I continue repeating that as i go in to the trip.

Yup, that's what I do when I start losing control on shroom trips, I keep telling myself, this is all within, you are in control, do the drugs don't let the drugs do you. And there's this one song I always play when I'm getting scared/nervous/uncomfortable and it always calms me down.

DMT is different though, I tried telling myself that, but it's just so damn powerful, you just have to let go. Simple. Meditation beforehand can help, but once you take that toke everything leading up to that moment is gone. So just learn to let go. Goodluck