Rocket3476stz wrote:Psyhedelic Veteran here but also a military Veteran with PTSD. Done LSD hundreds of times. Various other entheogens. Did what was allegedly DMT back in the late 70's definitely broke through. Now I'm on meds so I can deal. Weaned myself off Welbutrin and mostly off Cymbalta, just on 30 mg a day instead of 90mg, so I wouldn't go all serotonin syndrome. Don't expect that is stopping the breakthrough. However my sleep regimine is more problematic. I'm taking 10 mg Ambien to sleep and 300 mg of seroquel to knock back the nightmares AND sleep. Mostly the seroquel helps me sleep. I still have nightmares. I suspect Seroquel is the block. Eventhough I smoke DMT almost 24 hours after I take the seroquel. The DMT hits, I have some mild open eye hallucinations and good closed eye ones. DMT has already helped with my depression but I think a breakthrough will really knock my PTSD back. One weird thing about the way DMT effects me is I just hallucinate but my mind is totally clear while tripping. Not like LSD, psylocibin, peyote, etc. The others I was giggly, silly, like a child on the first day of the world. DMT is a trip with a lucid mind but no breakthrough. Any ideas? Thanks for listening to my ramblings.
Actually, it's a very common case...
First off... You break through when you're ready to and when the moment is right... Not when you want to, think you need it, or take the perfect dose. The perfect dose will bounce right off an unprepared mind with little more than some vague feelings and special effects.
-Furthermore, it is often the case that people feel little head change when considered against the profound hallucinations. It won't make you silly and giggly like psilo, and won't massively alter your thought space like LSD. DMT is more psycho-spiritually inclined than those others.
If you think a "breakthrough" will help you with your PTSD, you need to reconsider what you're seeking. If you're seeking something that will balance you chemically, that will ease your nerves and paranoia and help you feel better in the long term; I would suggest ayahuasca, psilocybin, LSD, MDMA, etc... I hear that some psychotherapists are working wonders with MDMA and psilo in a clinical environment.
A DMT breakthrough will, by its very nature,
break down your reality. It will
challenge you in the most difficult and intimate ways. It will push your mind beyond the limits of its understanding and
utterly confound you.
DMT provides revelation and inspiration... But the real healing from DMT use comes from handling yourself in a courageous and self-responsible manner during the moments of the trip, and in integrating that trip with equanimity, acceptance and without fear of the ways the world will change and unfold before you in light of your new experience.
Don't get me wrong... DMT
can help you. But its action is so short, and its effects so intense, that it makes poor medicine in the long term. IME, it is more useful for initiation, for spiritual and emotional exploration, and for dissolving boundaries in the mind (idealogical ones, not psycho-chemical blockages and neuroses like PTSD)
Also: Your dose of Seroquel is freaking HUGE. I don't see how you can't suffer from hangovers and an altered thought space 24/7 on 300mg of that stuff a day. Unless you have a brutally high tolerance, or an extreme need, You may want to talk to your doctor about lowering the dose.
Seroquel is a poor choice to manage nightmares, anyway... One of the primary side-effects of the drug
nightmares and sleep disturbance; one is just often too "zonked out" to even realize that he's yelling in his sleep, getting up and walking around/eating, or tossing and turning in torrential sweats. Memories of these feelings and events usually don't last past the bleary, confusing awakening... But the lingering unresolved emotions from a traumatic night's sleep most often have a poor, poor effect on the general mental and emotional health of the person taking the drug for relief... And dream work is the only real way to solve emotional issues that are generated in dream environments. It's a whole other can of worms.
My opinion: You could benefit from some other therapy and/or entheogenic work (such as with MDMA, Psilocybin, Iboga or Ayahuasca.. Or even Mesaline if you're feeling spiritually ballsy), before exploring DMT.
While the theraputic benefits are there, DMT is best approached from a position of physical and mental health. In my experience, taking DMT in an unwell or unstable state only ends three ways: A "misfire" like you experienced, a ver strange and unpleasant trip which can be nearly impossible to integrate (or worse, a hyperslap), or a life-alteringly intense initiatory experience which will set you on a long and difficult road to vastly different new ways of thinking, feeling and living which can be hard to embrace (or you can choose not to embrace them, and be stuck in the terrifying doldrums of Chapel Perilous until you find your way out; your countenance held upon yourself, or otherwise.)
Lots of people choose DMT for entheogenic work simply because it is accessible and DIY-friendly... But do not fall into the trap of assuming that it is the drug for you simply because it's easy to get ahold of the pure substance. That is simply folly upon folly.I suggest working with the plants. If you want to try DMT for your self-directed therapy, it may well be more beneficial to brew ayahuasca or take pharmahuasca, than to vape DMT. The healing potential is so much more profound when taken orally with a friendly MAOI like Caapi. (But please do your homework or consult your doctor about drug interactions, etc first.)
Good Luck, and Happy Trails.