Greetings and merry christmas everyone.

their has been something which i have never really come to terms with and i think i need to because for a long time i was ok with it, but im at the point now where the fear/reverence is crippling me from trying to drink some tea, even though it has never once tried to even scare me, i am still very much afraid and i dont know why.

what is integration, and what does it mean to you to integrate your experiences?

thank you.

to me integration is about understanding why something(s) happened and how I can learn from the ''something'' to allow me to live my life in a greater harmony with everything.

Merry christmas to you too, fella. To me integration has always been about dealing with the fact that whatever I have experienced is just as meaningful as what we colloquially refer to as "real life." Where you're at right now, sitting in front of your computer completely sober, is exactly where you're at when you're halfway between Alpha Centauri and the Jellyfish Nebula. Both are scary, one is easier to write off as a psychedelic experience.

I've been stuck where I am and scared of tripping my way to elsewhere for a very long time because I don't feel comfortable/connected with the world in which I live and am too lazy to get closer to it. I dunno if that's your issue, but if it is then the feeling of wanting to get to know where you are more intimately before going "beyond" is 110% alright and healthy.

Integration to me is actually putting into practice things I've learned. Making changes to my life. Not just thinking about things differently or understanding things. But *doing* things differently. That may take the form of any of the following:

Productive conversations with loved ones
Productive conversations with hated ones
Making new friends
Finding a lover
Moving away from relationships that no longer suit you
Finding a job
Losing a job that no longer suits you
Going on a trip
Taking up a daily meditation practice
Taking up any daily or weekly habit that keeps one well.
Including dietary changes
Or quitting smoking
Writing music
Writing words

Integration isn't just realizing stuff. You realize stuff all the time in trips.
Integration is rooting this stuff in hard, concrete reality via actions and conversation.

https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...h_and_Safety#Integration

Thats what it means to me

Ime, integration is bringing hyperspace and the various lessons presented, into your everyday life. Living hyperspace; bridging the gap. Living the novelty of hyperspace; evolving alongside, so that in the future every time you smoalk, it's akin to a jumping off point at that particular time in your life. Letting the dust settle and moving forward in your life, taking care of yourself and your life, so next time when you go back - you reap the many riches that the experience can facilitate.

I think others have said it more eloquently, but I absolutely agree that it is about putting into practice and sober life realizations, and mindsets experienced, and growing from them.
Over my say 5-6 years of use with DMT, relationships deepen, and I think it is sometimes important to listen to, and trust that deeper intuition where you what know is good for you, others. I think one's relations with other people, and organisms on this planet are of the utmost importance.
I actually am hesitant to return to DMT right now, as I think I have a bit of growing to do, or universe homework.
I think as mentioned above, articulated goals that are conducive to progressive and healthy relationships with yourself and others in this place.
Do some yoga or take a hike. Try to push yourself in areas where you think you might need self-work? The easy is often the hard way.

Integration to me means remaining in a state of unequivocal love, a state of completeness, not allowing the mind and its divisive nature to proliferate, by not falling back into the hypnosis of believing my thoughts.

Really it can't be described, learning how to hold that unitive space is a like a sixth sense that each person has to hone for themselves. It's a bit like swimming, you have to get in the water and feel it out for yourself.

Ultimately, integration is only an idea.

To me, integration means action upon insight. From the simplest to the complex. Being with awareness and observing the integration taking place and being with it, infinitely, allowing all possibilities to unfold naturally.

Thank you to everyone who posted in this thread, its given me allot to ponder over, i just wish it was more straight forward as to why you would on some level be terrified of it despite never having a bad thing happen.

maybe the apprehension is about something beyond the tea itself, worrying about what you could become, even if the resistance to the change makes you a person in itself.

oh well talking in metaphors i just wish the idea of integration was more straight forward to me.

thank you once again.

It's because of the unknown aspect. As much as our brains try to deconstruct the experience in terms of cause and effect, it is somehow impossible to figure out why, for example, inhaling vaporized DMT (a very innocuous action) would result in such an unpredictable experience. We have to remember that we are, throughout our entire lives, subconsciously aware of what is going to happen next. This is because your brain is constantly taking in information and making subconscious predictions. At every corner in life, you are subconsciously 100% certain that what lies beyond is within the realm of things you are familiar with, and this is what allows you to be subconsciously comfortable going about your day-to-day life.

There are only a handful of actions in life with consequences that are unpredictable enough to get the best of our subconscious predictions entirely, and one of those is the act of bringing a tube to one's mouth, lighting a lighter, and inhaling vaporized DMT. It is frightening because if we have done it before then we subconsciously remember that the thing that comes next defies prediction. The resulting experience is not some extrapolation of your past experience, and so it could be harmless or it could be dangerous, and you subconsciously know that there is no way to predict the outcome.

So basically, the reason you are scared is because your brain is smart.