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I broke through a few weeks ago Options
 
Akasha224
#1 Posted : 4/15/2014 7:06:40 PM
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...and I haven't had the compulsion to talk about it until now. It was on a particularly stressful Friday afternoon, and I was going to use the remainder of my spice to gain a different perspective. It worked.

The first dose was 10, maybe 15mg of spice sprinkled onto a layer of cannabis in my GVG. I didn't want a full-blown experience, in the event that I wasn't ready for it with the amount of stress I was feeling. It was a very drawn-out, subtle trip; it lasted maybe 20-30 minutes, but I couldn't really tell where the DMT started to exert its effects and stopped exerting its effects. There was no carrier wave, no massive mind blowing peak, no entities, etc.; as far as DMT experiences go, it was actually pretty relaxing. "I want to go back," I told myself. Prior to this, I had never had multiple DMT experiences right after each other - usually I would wait a few days.

I decided that I wanted to get "there," so I basically jumped my jar of DMT out onto my scale. It was at about 35mg before the battery died, and I would estimate that another 5-10mg came out of the jar after this. I loaded it all up, took a hit, and waited. After the initial exhalation, I started to feel and see threshold effects - VERY strong OEV's and the body high was so overwhelming, I almost couldn't take the second hit because I was shaking so hard. I took a second hit, held it in, let it out. I noticed the distinct absence of a carrier wave, when all of a sudden, I heard the whirring, winding, whining, whatever you want to call it. I started to see "the grid" (imagine an infinite amount of strips of colors superimposing this grid onto your perception; at least for me, it's a common OEV with heavy DMT experiences (30mg+)), as the sound became deafening. "Here it co-"

And like that, I was gone. There was almost no come up or come down. Just the peak. It was the most potent DMT journey I have ever experienced. The only word I can use to describe what I saw is "everything." There were all sorts of diagrams and formulae in front of me, basically telling me the meaning of life. I was "there." I experienced "it." This is the only way to describe it. It's that vague, uncertain place that I've always wanted to go to and have always felt a certain sense of familiarity with, despite never having been there before. It took years for me to get there, but I was there. "I" came back a few times, trying to interpret all this data and information, but every time "I" did, "I" thought to myself "Shh...be quiet and just observe. This is sacred knowledge." "I" heard this maybe 2-3 times during the trip, in "my" own voice, in "my" head, but "I" don't think "I" actually formulated the thought "myself." Apologies for all the quotation marks, but it's really the only way I can get across quite how fragmented the concept of "me" was during this experience.

This continued on for a few minutes, and then I was in what looked like a planetarium. It was a dark room with a domed ceiling with dots of life peppered all over it. I had a distinct sense that I was coming down and that "I" existed again. I had a sense of not being "in the experience" anymore, though I was still there. I looked over and saw a group of cloaked figures standing away from me, in a circle, all facing each other, and I finally understood that I was basically being "shown out" of the experience. Then I started thinking to myself "They? Them? The others? Them? They are real." I opened my eyes and sat for a long time. Once my mind was put back together and (almost) capable of functioning how it normally does, I realized where I had gone: "there." I had done it. I had finally broken through. I let out a hysterical laughter for a good ten seconds, then quieted down and continued to sit. The clear headedness and euphoria I felt after this experience was simply beyond words.

So why did it take weeks for me to want to share this? I honestly don't know. I haven't even been on these boards since the experience happened, or thought about DMT. I have still smoked cannabis daily since the experience, however, which has helped me to keep the experience fresh in my mind. There is a certain burden that's placed upon one who undergoes such a journey, one that can only be eased by the catharsis of sharing. Right now, having typed these words, I feel that I have moved on beyond this journey, whose integration was pretty rough, and am ready for what the future holds.

Thanks for reading. Thumbs up
Akasha224 is a fictitious extension of my ego; all his posts do not reflect reality & are fictional
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
Sky Motion
#2 Posted : 4/16/2014 3:35:44 AM

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Glad u shared
 
Akasha224
#3 Posted : 4/16/2014 9:43:20 AM
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Aftermath wrote:
Would you say that you experienced yourself as God/Universe/All-That-Is?


Yes. There was no distinction between me and everything else.
Akasha224 is a fictitious extension of my ego; all his posts do not reflect reality & are fictional
 
Global
#4 Posted : 4/16/2014 11:45:50 AM

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Going twice in a row can definitely be a gamble, but when it pays off, it really pays off - and you seemed to have taken quite the hefty dose on the second time around anyway. Once you've already been there in one day, you can be quite relaxed as you go to do it again. Thanks for sharing.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
FloorFan
#5 Posted : 4/16/2014 4:16:12 PM

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Beautiful post! Thank you, I feel high now! Smile I can totally relate to why you had to use quotations. I think we all can who have broken through. Being a single entity with any sort of individuality as a person seems like a foreign concept while there. Like, silly physical humans, they need to be in one place at one time and feel unique.

Superbly written report. Thumbs up
* Everything I write is made up tripe: whispers of wind coming off the blades in my face for I am a fictional man with a floor fan for a brain pan.

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Akasha224
#6 Posted : 4/16/2014 10:09:29 PM
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Global wrote:
Once you've already been there in one day, you can be quite relaxed as you go to do it again.


I agree with this 110%. A lot of the time, I view DMT as something to treat with respect bordering on fear. But once I'm over the come up and fully integrated into the experience, it turns into something almost gentle - sure, the experience itself is chaotic, but instead of thinking "This foreign substance is infiltrating my body and making ridiculous things happen," I try to go with the "DMT is my buddy, and we're going through a burn cruise through hyperspace" vibe - not to undermine the experience or make it seem like it's totally recreational. I'm rambling now. Hopefully this makes sense.

FloorFan wrote:
I can totally relate to why you had to use quotations. I think we all can who have broken through. Being a single entity with any sort of individuality as a person seems like a foreign concept while there. Like, silly physical humans, they need to be in one place at one time and feel unique.


Yes, the concept of "me" seems ludicrous, especially on the comedown. One (semi) persistent thought I have on DMT comedowns is how silly tattoos are. I always notice them on my arms as I'm opening my eyes and can't help but think that something that makes me "me" isn't at all necessary, and is in fact counterproductive to achieving a sense of peace. But according to this logic, we should all shave our heads and eyebrows so we look identical. It's kind of hard to find a happy medium with this one.
Akasha224 is a fictitious extension of my ego; all his posts do not reflect reality & are fictional
 
Atlas_
#7 Posted : 4/17/2014 6:55:26 AM

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I enjoyed reading your experience and I appreciate you sharing it. Did you have time at all to be scared? Did you smoke weed at all before hand and what time of day did you do it? I smoke a little weed daily, and ive only blasted off a couple times and am very timid about it's power which is why I ask. And i've heard the advice go both ways with weed if your a daily user like myself. That you shouldn't smoke weed the day your going to smoalk but others saying just get into your normal head space like after it wears off.
 
Akasha224
#8 Posted : 4/17/2014 10:54:32 AM
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Atlas_ wrote:
I enjoyed reading your experience and I appreciate you sharing it. Did you have time at all to be scared? Did you smoke weed at all before hand and what time of day did you do it? I smoke a little weed daily, and ive only blasted off a couple times and am very timid about it's power which is why I ask. And i've heard the advice go both ways with weed if your a daily user like myself. That you shouldn't smoke weed the day your going to smoalk but others saying just get into your normal head space like after it wears off.


No, the entire experience moved too quickly for me to even feel any discernable emotions. I wasn't scared, ecstatic, nervous, etc. I just was. I smoke cannabis multiple times a day, maybe every 3-4 hours. Personally, I've never smoked DMT without the aid of cannabis. I feel that it puts me into a more relaxed, receptive state of mind to experience the DMT - sometimes I'm honestly just too scared to even use DMT unless I get a little baked beforehand. On the other hand, some people might say that mixing cannabis and DMT will dull the experience, or make it harder to remember, which is also a valid point. It's all about moderation. When you smoke DMT, what do you use?

One thing I've noticed is that after a DMT journey, I feel stone cold sober. It's almost like there's no residual effects of the cannabis after the comedown.
Akasha224 is a fictitious extension of my ego; all his posts do not reflect reality & are fictional
 
Atlas_
#9 Posted : 4/17/2014 6:36:29 PM

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I've always smoked a lot of weed to enhance and comfort me through psychedelic experiences, having great results. I need weed when I use lsd or shrooms. I've only had a few deep sub journeys total and the deepest few I smoked weed right before taking decent single hits out of my machine packed with ~20mg white xtal, always going with open eyes which feels more comfortable. I've had some unsettling body experiences that have made me ask myself if the weed was a contributing factor. But it's probably just apart of the ride. I'm glad to hear someone that smokes like me is having good experiences.

I've found too, that after one of these experiences any sort of tired after burn feeling from previous weed sessions is 100% gone and im filled with a new energy, being so happy to have seen some logic defying stuff happen and make it back to reflect on it.

I'm going to make some changa soon and see how that works.
 
 
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