MODERATOR wrote:The original thread title has been changed due to this thread being more the personal way the OP is gaining his Ayahusca experiences than a general rule of thumb for Ayahuasca use.
First, visit the all about aya thread sticky, linked
Here for a general introduction and a wonderful write-up.
Secondly, a few words about this;
ms_manic_minxx wrote:If a person panics and feels tempted to call 911--experiencing the process of death is quite common, but not physically dangerous, though extremely shocking the first time--this is BAD NEWS for everyone, the drinker, the entire entheogenic community and the spirit of Ayahuasca. Please, please, please take care, and do not take the sacrament lightly!!
*WARNING: The "unmanageability" and "feelings of insanity" in an Ayahuasca experience multiply EXPONENTIALLY with the presence of admixture plants. It is my advice, then, to first brew admixture materials separately, and begin experimenting with them one at a time, after acquainting oneself with vine-only brews. When an experience begins, the drinker is locked down for hours, and an ungrounded experience with too much admixture CAN result in TERRIBLE PANIC. Some common "servings" of admixtures are mentioned below, as INFORMATIONAL GUIDELINES ONLY. One should always begin slowly, cautiously, with any admixture, to determine the strength. One may have weak materials that require twice as much as "standard"--or incredibly powerful, mind-ripping materials that require 1/4 as much. Do not be foolish! The admixture is also sometimes referred to as "the light;" I suggest making the vine a lover and bringing a romantic candle or two for a journey deep into the heart, rather than seeing the vine as something desired and chasing after with the helicopter search lights. Patience is a virtue...
The feelings of "fear" or "death" or "insanity" need to be absolutely fully, and clearly understood, so one can have an enjoyable and fully-healing experience that this medicine is absolutely capable of offering.
If you respect the dosage, and do everything CONSCIOUSLY, then you will have zero issues going through and integrating the experience properly into your own life. This is where meditation comes in, and is absolutely vital. You don't need any prior guidance or preparation, and you don't need to be "taught" how to "meditate". What is meditation? Simply put, it is being absolutely conscious of all of your actions, intentions, feelings; just basic self-awareness within your given situation. So please don't get stuck on terms, the basic thing is to be conscious throughout the whole experience. Now let's take a look at the finer points;
PANIC/FEAR: Because this will be a new experience for the newcomer, and those unfamiliar to it, there is bound to be a certain level of fear associated with it. Do NOT FEAR fear, just accept it, and look at it as a thing. Consciously look into it, and understand it... like it's a thing. Some fears are rational, some fears are not, fear is absolutely a natural reaction so there is no need to fear it; simple understanding is enough. As far as panic goes, just look at it as a thing, and confront it CONSCIOUSLY, just like everything else... it's just a natural reaction, that's all, no need to get panicky, just be aware of it, conscious of it, and pass through it CONSCIOUSLY... it's just a very momentary and temporary thing. Once the experience starts there's no panic whatsoever... if it does creep up just consciously confront it, look at it, see it, understand it, and accept it; there is no need to fear it, it's a natural reaction.
DEATH: Basically put, most fears lead to one basic source in life, in one way or another; the fear of death. Why do we fear death? Because we simply do not understand it. Drop your fear of death, NO ONE HAS DIED PHYSICALLY FROM THE AYA EXPERIENCE if everything is taken into full respect, including the medical interactions with other drugs, diet, and other physical ailments/impairments that may limit one from safely going through the experience. So, if you avoid prescription drugs, and read all the warning labels in the Aya sticky, and you feel like naturally you are capable of going through the experience physically and mentally then you most certainly will not die.
This Death aspect needs to be understood clearly; if you are CONSCIOUS throughout the whole experience, and are fully rooted in this consciousness... conscious of every action, every nuanace, every feeling inside your body and on the emotional level, then you cannot die. DEATH CANNOT HAPPEN TO CONSCIOUSNESS... CONSCIOUSNESS IS INTRINSICALLY ETERNAL.
So, ladies and gentlemen, do not fear Death, simply be rooted in your own consciousness, and consciously confront it. And then you will see the sheer absurdity of all of your fears. Also do not fear fear itself, simply CONSCIOUSLY confront it, and you will see that there isn't much in it.. once you understand it consciously, or confront it with your own consciousness, then you will clearly understand it's function in life; it's just a necessary part and parcel of the whole experience... there's absolutely NO harm in it.
CRAZYNESS; INSANITY: This also needs to be clearly understood. You are NOT going to go mentally crazy and insane on Ayahuasca, in fact, it will give you the necessary and natural RIGHT knowledge for your own life. It just gives you a different perspective of very conscious insight into your own existence, it is PURE GOLD; PURE LOVE. It cannot harm you. So, don't be afraid of going crazy, just be CONSCIOUS and go into the process CONSCIOUSLY, and you cannot go crazy, you will CONSCIOUSLY see everything that Aya is capable of revealing to you. It cannot function without your openness and allowance...
CONCLUSION: If you just stay CONSCIOUS and aware of every nuance of the whole experience, and confront every aspect of the experience consciously, you will be enriched beyond belief by this wonderful medicine. It's as simple as that. The medicine does the work, all it takes from you is to respect the dosage, be conscious, and be present, and confront everything CONSCIOUSLY, and Ayahuasca does all the work. The entire journey is SELF-DIRECTED. YOU don't have to do ANYTHING once the experience gets going. Just be present, and be conscious, and ALLOW IT. It is a happening, not a doing. One last note, always be sincere and true to yourself, if you don't understand something, you are absolutely free to ask Aya for guidance and understanding, just be clear "I do not know" or "I do not understand" and it will present everything to you in such a way that you understand. If you just remain true and sincere to yourself, you do not have to be a perfect person, there are no conditions on the moral aspect for taking ayahuasca. It will reveal everything to you as long as you are open, accepting, and sincere.
Just stay conscious throughout the whole thing, and confront every challenge with consciousness (do not deny, neglect, repress, or be
ignorant of anything; just be aware of everything as it happens and confront everything with consciousness and innocent inquiry, and you simply CANNOT go wrong.
The intention of the thread is to relieve the grips of panic/fear and issues of death through basic understanding, which are common to mostly all successful ayahuasca attempts. That's all, that simple.
It's not that I'm trying to give my experience to you (any "you"
, because that would be impossible. I'm simply setting a general set of guidelines (which, in themselves are pretty basic; don't drink too much or too little, make sure all safety measures and precautions are understood, and consciously confront the experience as it comes; don't fear fear, consciously confront it, look into it and understand it/ don't fear panic, consciously confront it, look into it and understand it/ don't fear death, consciously confront that fear, look into it and understand it. Don't avoid anything, consciously confront it, look into it and understand it. You can't control the experience, it's a self-directed happening, you can only be present, and conscious in it. Enjoy the ride)
Those things are common to all experiences. Individual experiences will be unique and specific to that individual. Of course we can't give our experiences to one another, that's not in the nature of things. But I figured this just put out some groundwork for someone to be conscious in their experience to get the most out of it; for those that are unfamiliar with the experience alltogether/ basic beginner intro expanding on the aya sticky.
One more thing I will mention. Generally speaking, we are conditioned to live life from a purely rational-mind perspective, but that's just ONE part of your mind and it's abilities... this linear, time-constrained way of thinking. Aya gives you insight into the Irrational mind (or, both actually if you're aware of the whole experience) Mind you, irrational does NOT mean crazy (it's just more intuitive, less logic-oriented), it's just another aspect of thinking, or perceiving the world. The trick then, is to use both creatively, balance both, equally. When you need to use one, use one, and when you need to use the other, use the other. They're two aspects of the same mind, two halves of the whole tool. Use it as you need it, just be consciously balanced; accept both.
Final mention;
What Can I Expect?This is a wonderful question to consider, that applies to many other areas of life, so let's take a look at it.
What can I expect to gain? Or, what is a realistic expectation?Nothing, truth be told. Do not expect anything! What do I mean by this? Basically put, any and all of your expectations are going to be wrong. All expectations are wrong, because all expectations are unnatural. If you expect a specific result, there is EVERY CHANCE that you will be frustrated. Expectation, in it's nature, leads to frustration... in it's very nature.
I'm just uncovering the fallacy... how many times have you expected something to happen, and something completely different happened alltogether... then u're left frustrated. The frustration is because of expectation. The outcome of expectation is frustration, so frustration is reactive of expectation...
Just the way things are. If we drop expectation tho, then everything that happens is unexpected, adds to the mystery And then whether you have a full blown experience, or a dud experience where you just advance your personal brewing skills, everything is equally appreciated cuz you get what you get, there's no expectation so there's no frustration, then whatsoever happens is just dandy. Then it's just a pure experience.
we don't have to do anything with frustration, we simply need to understand what expectation is properly... so let's take a look at that;
What is expectation?Your expectation is always for a specific result. If your expectation gets fulfilled, then you will be happy. But if it does not, then you will feel cheated somewhere and will be frustrated with life because it's not going according to your expectations. And expectations are rarely fulfilled... Let's take a look at why, with a quick example;
Example;Let's assume that you have heard, from all over the world, that hazlenuts are the best nuts in the world. You've never tried a hazlenut before, but since everyone seems to be making the same statement, you wanna see if there is any truth to it. So, you decide you're going to grow your own hazelnut tree. So you spend 2 thousand dollars, and 2 years of labor growing and nurturing this tree. Your only desire is to try one hazelnut, pure and natural, to see what everyone is talking about... So when the harvest time finally comes around, you pick the first nut you come to, and you expect it to have nuts... you're very excited, you go to your kitchen, get a nutcracker, and break the nut open... and lo and behold;
IT'S EMPTY. BECAUSE YOU WERE EXPECTING A NUT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE PISSED OFF AND FRUSTRATED, AND MAY CURSE THE WHOLE TREE OUT OF THAT FRUSTRATION.
The thing is, your expectation was NOT unrealistic... it simply wasn't according to the way life functions. All expectations are for a specific result, for a desired effect...
for one potential possibility of fruit from the tree of nature. But the tree itself does not live according to your expectations, the tree provides both... good nuts, and the occasional empty bad nut; this is just the way things are. Now, if you were expecting a good nut, and you get an empty dud, you will be pissed off, curse the tree, and curse the whole world for lying to you. You may burn the tree and tell all your friends off... but, if you didn't have any expectations, and you opened a nut, saw it was empty, saw the
facticity of it, you wouldn't be frustrated because you had no expectations in the first place, you just wanted to see what it was... so you move on to the next nut on the tree, and lo and behold;
EUREKA! The holy grail of hazelnuts! The tree is capable of providing both, but the tree does so unrelated to your expectations. So to expect any specific desired result, is simply setting yourself up for a possible frustration. Either expect ALL possible results, or drop expectation all together.
So then what am I supposed to do?If you follow all the proper safety measures, do what you can to brew your stuff correctly, follow the proper diet restrictions where necessary, and start off low in dosage and safely work your way up to the sweet spot, eventually you will hit a point of full experience.... But it's never really guaranteed, so for some it may take a few tries to get it down right, for others they may get it right on the first or second try... everything is relative. Just do what you can with what you got consciously, and follow the necessary measures and precautions and everything will work out one way or another; but there are no guarantees
Be VERY CAREFUL with the dosing especially with the triptamines, Caapi is fairly forgiving; Patience is Key! Thank you for reading, and enjoy the journey; just relax into it, there is nothing to fear.
p.s. Another tid-bit of very useful information;
Medicinal and Spiritual Qualities of Ayahuasca and pretty much every other drugKEEP IN MIND: Every experience is unique and individual, and no two journeys are the same, so don't compare your previous journey to your next one so on and so forth; every journey is its own mystery, unique in every way.Please consider all of the information provided, and use own best judgement; at the end of the day YOU are responsible for own actions/decisions. Just the way life works