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I need some guidance on what just happened. Options
 
Rhajin
#1 Posted : 8/19/2013 8:23:10 PM

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Hey guys first off thank you if your going to read this and help me, I tried smoking some spice, I have a shity scale, but i just don't trust it so that being said I'm thinking I have about 40 50 or 60mg loaded into my machine right now.

When I tried to smoke I felt it coming on, but I keep getting soo scared like idk if I can handle going to far in, but yet I felt these beings inviting me to go all the way in. I just feel scared every time and dunno if I can keep lighting it myself or what. I took one hit and started to feel freaked out and closed my eyes. I saw something that kind of looks like an elephants trunk? waving me to come inside, but I just couldn't. I want to so bad idk what to make of this.
 

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SpaceSeek
#2 Posted : 8/19/2013 8:35:13 PM

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Fear is something you'll have to either get handle on or move past in order to use psychedelics.

We all go through what we call "pre-flight jitters". Just take a leap of faith and trust your intentions.

Safe travels.
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hug46
#3 Posted : 8/19/2013 8:37:07 PM

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Calm down, maybe start lower (10-15mg), get your feet wet and savour the experience. You don"t have to go balls out straight away. Get a feel for it. Then work your way up.
 
Hiyo Quicksilver
#4 Posted : 8/19/2013 8:46:27 PM

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The ride in will most often be completely terrifying, period. A good dose tears apart the perception of the body, mixes up and disassembles the mind, and completely reconfigures reality in ways that could never be imagined or explained. You're right to be scared, but if you want in, you'll have to realize and remember that the worthwhile experiences come from facing down that fear and allowing yourself to be taken away with it. You've got to go through hell before you get to heaven, after all.

You may well feel like you've died and will never come back, that nothing will be the same or that you've somehow "broken" something... but I swear to you that you will be back down and healthy in 15 minutes at the most. There will be terror, it will be too intense, and you will not be the same person afterward... but you will be glad you did, and you will understand what all the fuss was about once you're there. That's sort of the point of the stuff... If you're not going to go all the way, you might as well not pick up the pipe in the first place.

If you doubt your scale's accuracy, you can always check it with a coin. An American nickel weighs 5 grams, and you can find the exact weights of other coins in your country if you are elsewhere.
 
anrchy
#5 Posted : 8/19/2013 8:47:22 PM

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What hug said except I'd say DO NOT go for that high of a dose. If you take that much in there would be good cause to be scared. Personally if you can't calm your self down a little, wait. The last time I dosed I was extremely scared. I was even shaking. I couldn't calm it down at all so I just went for it. All I can say is that that much fear going in can effect the experience in a negative way sometimes.

There's really no rush. I know you want to dose but take your time. Lower the dose by atleast half, please, and take sometime to either meditate or if your unable to just sit quietly and clear your mind. Anticipating the huge leap your about to take and consciously thinking about how hardcore it's gonna be is no different then looking down a cliff when trying to repel. Don't think about why will happen once you inhale. That will just freak you out. Harder than I make it sound I know.
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endlessness
#6 Posted : 8/19/2013 9:16:29 PM

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Please read this and also our health and safety section, including and specially the part on dark entities/negative trips.

That being said, I think its just normal that you are affraid and feel apprehension.. Take it as slow as you want, there's no rush. Just make sure to prepare well for the experience, do your part in daily life, and if/when you decide to go into hyperspace, go with a clear mind.

Be well!
 
Rhajin
#7 Posted : 8/19/2013 9:44:35 PM

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Hey guys I took a leap or faith so to speak, and I'm glad I did. I went all the way in and I have no more fear of going back I was taken to a place where I saw this being dancing around m y mind.

I realize I was being invited into what I believe to be the sun gods resting place. I saw through his eyes. He wants out and I think I showed him what its like to be out and see the sun again, I'm thankful he just tought me so much and I hope I showed him what he wanted to see. The fear I was having was what he is feeling, Hes trapped and can't get out, but he wants to so bad. One day that day will come though.
 
Global
#8 Posted : 8/19/2013 10:37:11 PM

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It strikes me as interesting that you had the elephant trunk waving at you in your initial experience. There have been several members who encountered the Hindu elephant god Ganesha during their initial experiences as well (you can attempt a search). What seems particularly significant and symbolic about this is that Ganesha is known as being a "guardian" and an "initiator". He both provides and removes obstacles. I found this particular excerpt to be especially relevant:

Quote:

Another variant emphasizes Ganesha's ambivalent, liminal character as a doorkeeper. The gods complained to Shiva that by granting boons to demons to become his devotees, he was making it impossible for the gods to conquer the demons; they asked him, therefore, to create obstacles for the demons. Shiva then created Ganesha as the Lord of Obstacles (Vighnesha) to create obstacles for evil people (like demons) and to remove obstacles in the way of good people (like gods). The elephant is well suited as a remover of obstacles, as his vehicle, the rat, who can gnaw through any obstacles to reach food or find his way out of any maze. Ganesha is worshiped at the beginning of any undertaking and so is appropriately stationed near the periphery of the Elephanta complex.

In a recent paper abstracted from his forthcoming major book about Ganesha, Paul Courtright has advanced a useful hypothesis that is highly relevant to the present discussion. He suggests that the myth of Ganesha's creation by his mother and painful sundering from her, and his restoration by his father, represents the enactment of the ritual of initiation in which the child leaves the mother, and after a painful initial confrontation, becomes with his father or guru. This further combines the theme of familial conflict with Ganesha's role as god of undertakings, of which initiation is the archetype. One might further suggest that the head which is "replaced" upon Ganesha's neck is in fact his true head, unknown to him until he receives it in the initiation ceremony (as many initiates first receive their true name) just as Dadyhyanch receives the horse-head that is truly his own only after he has entered into a sacrificial agreement with the gods.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
Rhajin
#9 Posted : 8/19/2013 11:32:57 PM

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Very Interesting read Global, hopefully I'll see more of that vision when I go back. I think he was showing me the fear and beauty to what lays ahead in the dmt universe.
 
DisEmboDied
#10 Posted : 8/20/2013 2:35:24 AM

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I get shaky scared before every time myself. I just take the plunge, that's it. But I load up 15 mils at a time until I am where I want to be. I am always glad when I am there and especially glad when I come back. Glad you finally made it.
Meditate before you venture, take it seriously, use it as medicinal—it is good psychotherapy if needed. Realize that you, the Earth, others, and the Universe are all one and the same process. Then take that knowledge back to become, as you already are, one with nature. Eternity in every moment. Divinity in every particle. All is one organism.



 
Rhajin
#11 Posted : 8/20/2013 4:00:00 AM

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DisEmboDied wrote:
I get shaky scared before every time myself. I just take the plunge, that's it. But I load up 15 mils at a time until I am where I want to be. I am always glad when I am there and especially glad when I come back. Glad you finally made it.


Thanks man, I just wish I had a better scale casue the one I have keeps changing the numbers when I lay some spice on it like it will go from 0.04 then jumps to 0.09 or jumps to 0.00
 
Infectedstyle
#12 Posted : 8/20/2013 4:26:15 AM
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Rhajin wrote:
DisEmboDied wrote:
I get shaky scared before every time myself. I just take the plunge, that's it. But I load up 15 mils at a time until I am where I want to be. I am always glad when I am there and especially glad when I come back. Glad you finally made it.


Thanks man, I just wish I had a better scale casue the one I have keeps changing the numbers when I lay some spice on it like it will go from 0.04 then jumps to 0.09 or jumps to 0.00


Same thing here, My scale is nutters but it seems more accurate with a little more weight. Try putting some low weight item (i use a tiny piece of tin foil) and adjust the tare.
 
Rhajin
#13 Posted : 8/20/2013 7:48:11 AM

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Infectedstyle wrote:
Rhajin wrote:
DisEmboDied wrote:
I get shaky scared before every time myself. I just take the plunge, that's it. But I load up 15 mils at a time until I am where I want to be. I am always glad when I am there and especially glad when I come back. Glad you finally made it.


Thanks man, I just wish I had a better scale casue the one I have keeps changing the numbers when I lay some spice on it like it will go from 0.04 then jumps to 0.09 or jumps to 0.00


Same thing here, My scale is nutters but it seems more accurate with a little more weight. Try putting some low weight item (i use a tiny piece of tin foil) and adjust the tare.


Haha that's exactly what I do I only started using tin foil cause I don't want my dmt to stick to the scale with it being powder and all.
 
 
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