So it's almost been 3 months since my last blast off, and what a blast off it was. I have on 2 separate occasions, managed to dose a very small amount of DMT. The first was clearing the GVG chamber after someone else dosed, which would have equated to barely registering on my mg scale. This gave me a very light sensation that reminded me of the pleasantness of it all. The second time I placed two very small scoops, approx 10mgs or less, in the GVG and had a light and scary experience. Basically all the fears that I experienced/created during my last dose (which can be read HERE) came forward and manifested as absolutes. Upon returning to normal conscious understanding, I was able to comprehend what had happened and removed the feeling of belief about what I had experienced.

This has been a long and strong learning experience for me. I have been taking aniracetam recently, along with a new selection of vitamins ect. (Amino acids, krill oil, lecithin...). I am still noticing very slight changes being made over the course of time. At first (after the big DMT dose) I was experiencing a difficult time "being" in this reality without thinking to myself, "This is so unreal". Now the changes are so slight that I don't really notice the difference for weeks. I am becoming more me then I have ever been, or so it seems. I believe that I may be grounded in a more healthy way than I used to, less permanent yet controllable or automatic. Hard to explain.

I have taken this time to focus on more reality based thoughts and goals lately. Things with work and my current lifestyle; eating habits, hobbies, motivation towards doing things in a way that I should have been doing a long time ago. This large dose that I partook in has had more of an impact on my life than all my other DMT doses combined. It was difficult. and at first I wasnt so sure that there was a positive outlook to be seen from it. Yet it all seems to be coming together, and I have a much better outlook on myself, psychadelics, people, the world and so on, than I have ever had before.

I look forward to my next dose, although I now see that it probably won't be for quite some time. I do however plan on having a light mushroom experience in the near future. Which I am very excited for BTW. This place is amazing and I have some big plans ahead of me.

Glad to hear that you're integrating this successfully. To quote a cliche, there are no bad trips- only hard ones. They are ultimately what we make of them.

I have had a handful of Super Rough Trips myself, all decades ago... And sure, I took a bit of a break after a while. Now my psychedelic use is different: more methodical and paced, more purposeful.

Even during long breaks, those inner places have never left my mind.

Ya I def agree with that. Difficult trips seem to hold a deeper meaning to them as well IME. It really hits the complexity of the human psyche in a different manner.

"more methodical and paced, more purposeful."

Perfectly described.

I also have this strange insight that I'm not sure as to what exactly it is. I have this strong sense that there is something digital to everything, even looking back at my previous trips, if that makes any sense.

Anrchy.

I commend you for pulling through such a harrowing experience; being 'God', realizing true infinity. As you've found out, it takes a bit of time for the big ones. Heck, im going on around 10 or so months since my HEAVY experience via bong. I've had to do alot of thinking, alot of writing, alot of mind-body work to center myself in this new perceptual malestorm of thought, and pull it through into my life and what I love.

It takes alot of work, whether it be meditation, exercising, art, etc. Anything that will bring oneself into the present where this force can flow, uninterupted, and flow it will, into your task at hand. Sort of like holding in specific emotions, where eventually, things will fester, unless you have an outlet for them in some shape or form. Just friendly advice to you, friend.

You seem to be doing great though man. Keep up the great work. Tat Tvam Asi

tat

Thank you Tat, your words mean a lot. It's weird, being in this state. Almost feels like it was meant to be, to show me something. I am literally in awe of the molecule. It really is POWERFUL.