Hello! I'd like to share my first Ayahuasca experience with you all. This should probably be set here once I successfully pass my probationary period:

https://www.dmt-nexus.me...lt.aspx?g=topics&f=3

By this time, I had smoked DMT twice, I believe both to be break throughs. I will add links to those at the end of this experience. By now, it had been a few months since my last journey into DMT and I had been preparing to try the brew. It was left over from my room mate's first attempt. I must stress that I did quite considerable research on the safety of DMT and Ayahuasca. I recount this experience only because I educated myself in the process of ingesting it and followed the rules to which were prescribed for the safest journey possible. This includes my diet a week leading into partaking the brew as well as where it came from, the setting and my mood. I was as ready as I could have been.

I sat in the room with my room mate. We had a CD of icaros chants playing in the background. We looked at each other and with a few gulps, we managed to take in the brew. It tasted like sour mud. It was very difficult to drink and keep down. But I managed and I took a sip of water, rinsed my mouth and spit out the taste. I went to my room and lay down on my bed.

After 30 minutes, I felt physical sensations that began to vibrate through my entire being. I happened to look out the window at that moment and saw the tree that always keeps my company. Suddenly, I noticed that it's leaves and branches were not at all random. They had a purpose, there was a pattern to their validity. As the wind blew the leaves apart, I felt as though it was possible to communicate with this life form. It was beautiful and alive and with infinite meaning.

I looked away as the sensation became more and more intense and focused my attention on my walls. The icaros chants were inside me now. The walls began to grow feathers, red and blue all around me. The room was now covered in blue feathers and in front of me sat a native american shaman. He was covered in jewels and feathers. He was sitting in front of me by my feet. He told me to close my eyes and I did.

At that moment, that plastic sensation came and I zipped intensely through to another reality. It was if reality folded into itself and spit me out the other side. Dimensions were shown to me in fractal shapes, the mechanical insectoid sounds reverberating through me entire being. It was very overwhelming! After being shot through hyperspace, I finally landed in a forest. It was a fractal forest and I looked about. It was a completely new world that I could had never have imagined.

At that moment, the crystalline trees swayed a bit and from the sides, the bushes and such, emerged what could be referred to as the elves. They were very curious tricksters. At first they said no words, they just collectively, in high pitch voices said "hmmmmmmm!" as they gazed upon me. They were little, much shorter than me. They had large black eyes that blinked often into straight slits. They were dressed in black tights, had white round faces with thin lips and a hint of a nose. I found this very cartoony and absurd! At this moment, I think I started to panic.

The elves started to mock me. They began to speak. One of them said "You think you're in control? You think you manifest your destiny? Come, let me show you what it's really like for you!" They began to walk through the crystalline and plastic forest and I followed closely. They lead me to an open area where there sat a toddler. It was alien to me as the elves and it was known to me that this was some sort of entity they were rearing. The toddler was a chubby humanoid with semblance of hair and was completely unclothed. His eyes were also large and round and seemed to have more depth than my almost 2 dimensional elves.

"Here, here's your reality." The one speaking reached into me and pulled out a cube. It was the cube of manifested realities. I looked closely and saw my entire existence, all memories pulsating through this cube. He gave the cube to the toddler who immediately started playing with it. The cube danced and spun around his little fat fingers. As my cube of realities spun and seemingly landed randomly, a moment of my existence was made known to me via my cube of realities. It seemed all RANDOM. They every thing I have ever done in my existence was out of my hands. I had no control over ANYTHING. I looked wide eyed in horror to the elves who all began to giggle and point at me, laughing hysterically at the human who has no destiny.

By this time, I really didn't like what I was hearing. I opened my eyes to try and escape. I didn't want to see anymore! I looked around and everything was encrusted in jewels and fractals. My waking reality started blending in with my ayahuasca journey. I managed to get up and walk. I started to feel nauseous and all I could think about was "Oh, I need this out of me now." I looked at my room mate who was lying on the couch smiling. "What did they say?" he asked. I did not like what I was hearing and I made him know this. I walked to the bathroom. On the way there, a voice told me to drink some water. I did so and immediately entered the bathroom.

This is the moment where the intensity peaked beyond anything I have ever imagined. I had my eyes fully open. My environment ceased to exist as it did in waking reality. My bathroom was now that crystalline forest, the same one I was in before except it was less plastic. I was aware that I was in my bathroom, that this was a bathtub in front of me, but I was also aware this was a river in a forest. It's very difficult to explain this sensation. I can only say that I was in two places at one time. Ayahuasca was telling me it was time to vomit and vomit I did.

I went over to the river (bathtub) and I opened my mouth. My consciousness left my body and I found my awareness in my belly. I latched onto the brew with my mind and I saw myself vomit out of myself through the inside out. I saw the light of the bathroom and the river in front of me from within myself. It was the most amazing experience I have ever had. I vomited for what seemed to be an eternity. I, too heard from room mate make these incredible guttural sounds from the living room. I managed to ask him if he was ok and he confirmed that he was. We were both vomiting at the same time!

I continued to vomit. It seemed as if there was so much coming out. As it came out, the sounds were completely insectoid, the splash into the river washing away the hurt I've ever felt and ever dished out. Any wrongs that were done to me and that I had done were right in front of me to see. I looked down at the brownish red sludge that was in my bath tub. The forest disappeared and I was back in my waking reality. As I looked into the bathtub, I saw my "demons" being washed away. A fresh new start. All that was past was just an experience to be had and learned from. It was made known to me that the negative experiences we go through, we must not keep the hurt, we must keep the lessons. I turned on the water to wash away the mess. As I saw the water go down the drain, I saw my hurtful past realities that I held on to play themselves out. The fractal patterns in the water became 3 dimensional portals into time. I watched as the last drop of my past painful experiences washed away, renewing me in all aspects of my entire being.

I washed my face and burned my hands with hot water. A voice came to me and said "Be careful! You're still human in this realm, sensations are here for you to feel, but don't hurt yourself!" I agreed with his sentiment and I walked back to my bed, refreshed, rebuilt and cleansed. This is when the rest of my experience became blissful.

The next thing I remember was lying in my bed, a bed that was normally tattered and torn felt like the most grandiose cloud that floated in the heavens above and it existed just for my comfort. This part is a little hazy because I had so many things going through my mind about my current waking reality. Many dealt with the relationships I had at the time, the absurdities of them and how to deal with it all. It was very introspective and it was very much like a slide show of my present life. Truths were revealed to me on a subconscious level which I can't recall now, but I do know that I utilized these truths for the betterment of my reality.

I still wondered why the elves mocked and scared me. I really did not like not being in control of anything. If that was true, why bother existing? At that moment I was urged to walk into the living room. The visuals became intense again. The theme though was much more pleasant, less intense. My living room was a door way to a massive forest. This forest/jungle looked as real as waking reality. I looked out into it, and there was a bonfire where sat three native americans. They saw me looking at them and one walked towards me. He came to me and said "we are glad you are here. We have been waiting for you. What you have learned to day you already knew, but you have questions."

I asked him about the nature of reality and destiny. "They showed you what you fear and it caused you to panic. You fear you are not in control. This fear in and of itself causes you to lose the control you fear you don't have. You feed your fears with fear itself. Fear is a tool, not a death sentence. Now, believe me that you decided to be here today. It wasn't by the whim of a child playing with your realities that you are here. You are here because you sought us. And now, let us teach you more but you must come with us. May I borrow your body? There is more cleansing I'd like to perform on you if you allow me."

Now here is the part where this man was not actually speaking English. He was speaking some other tongue that I had no idea of origin but that I could fully understand at a psychic level. I agreed to allow him to take my body. He touched me and pulled my body away from my consciousness and his appearance faded into mine. My conscious self was separated from my physical self by a native american shaman in a forest that opened up like a portal from my living room. I could clearly see where the living room ended and the forest began. I was also aware that I could not step into it unless I was guided into it. I decided to remain stationary.

I looked down at my conscious self and I was surprised to realize that I could see in all directions at once and that I was a floating orb of gleaming light with no beginning and no end. I looked over at my physical body and I could see myself inhabited by another entity dancing around the bon fire chanting icaros with the other shamans. After a few minutes, my physical self was guided back by the shamans. They told me it was complete and that I could have my body back. They told me I had been completely taken apart and reassembled, releasing into my knowing, the fundamental ideas of the natures of reality and existence that I buried so far deep in myself. I used the spiritual beliefs of my parents and those close to me to stop me from living as I should, with MY ideas and MY beliefs.

It was profound to say the least. After I was reunited with my current waking existence, I walked back into my room and lay down and relaxed. I had the sensation of warmth, euphoria, love and peace as I pondered all that I had just experienced. I spent the next hour coming out. I was somewhat relieved yet exhausted. It was quite a journey. I slept well that night and my dreams were lucid for weeks afterwards.

And there it is. Below are links to a few more of my experiences:

Nature of reality:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=39937

Female entity, more nature of reality:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=39897

Thank you for reading! Much love and respect.

I like the way you write,interesting...
I wonder if the meeting with shamans was because of the music icaros chants?
Will go for a Ayahuasca cermoni but with a big group in the spring with real shamans but after reading this maybe its not necessary

In addition, I remember a moment where my room mate walked into my bedroom to see if I was ok. This was shortly after I vomited. When I spoke, the strangest sounds came from my mouth. It felt, almost insectoid. I made sounds with my voice that I had never been able to do before or since. I have tried but there is a completely different sound and quality that I have not been able to replicate and truly describe.

Years later, I watched a youtube video where Terence McKenna describes such an experience during his time in the forest in his search for oo-koo-hé and instead ended up ingesting Psilocybe cubensis. I am having difficulty finding this video but when I do, I will update this threat with it.

Thanks Earthlova!

I think there is a direct correlation with the icaros chants, but also I knew where the brew came from historically. I am also part native american on my father's side so I have always been in touch with those roots more so than the others.

I would suggest you try what you feel is right for you. I ventured into my experience head first. I've prepared my own brew as well. I don't feel that it is necessary to attend an ayahuasca ceremony in order to do it right. But those are my beliefs. I will eventually want to go to to Peru and take a shamanistic voyage but that doesn't mean I won't prepare my own brew and partake of it myself.

Here's what I believe. Other people's beliefs are their own. You should follow yours.

Sounds like an amazing experience, and a good read. Thank you!

Which admixture plant(s) did you use? Do you know the approximate dose?

Thank you 5thAeonFlux!

Unfortunately I do not know the ad mixture plants. I would say from the container that it was about 0.10 liters or 0.25 US Pint. A pint container and it was split into 4 equal doses. I wish I had more information but I can't recall the specifics, it was 10 years ago and I have since lost the notes I had taken. My later brews were of yellow ayahuasca and m. hostilis. The results and differences were inconclusive in recognizing a difference in effect. I was, however, told by ayahuasca that I should try chacruna the next time.

Thanks again for reading

Very interesting read. I have yet to venture in to the world of ayahuasca but I am sure it is only a matter of time, so this adventure of yours was a great insight. Thanks for sharing!

That sounds absolutely epic! What kind of dosage range produced this experience?

well if your gonna do it, then thats the way to to do it.

An epic tale and an increadible sounding experience wiglo.

You're very welcome Oracular. I'm glad I finally got a chance to share it all here! When you do set upon your adventure, please read up on everything you need to know about the preparatory steps a week leading into it, including diet, vitamins, sex, etc. As well an any medications that may have MAOIs or heart related health issues. Certain anti-depressants and medications treat parkinson's may contain MAOIs. Check out the faq here:

https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...edication_interaction.3F

I wish you a great journey and when you do, I look forward to reading about your experiences here!

Thanks Global!

This was about 10 years ago and I've lost much of the data I wrote down about the dosage, formula, etc., but I managed to save the experience.

I would say it was about 0.10 liters or 0.25 US Pint and I believe it was made from yellow ayahuasca and mimosa hostilis. I made sure I followed all the necessary dietary and safety requirements when I went in.

Thank you again for reading!

Thanks! I dove head first into it. I guess there was really no other way for me. I suppose testing the waters with DMT prepared me for Ayahuasca somewhat. The biggest difference in experiences for me was that I KNEW that when I inhaled the smoke, I would be out for a few minutes. When you drink it, there's no coming back for a few hours and when that hits us, you know it and you try and hold on to dear life during the first few minutes of the peak experience. Letting go of the fear and anxiety and accepting the journey with all your being, knowing that you are absolutely safe... that's the key I feel. It works for me at least

The moral is uncannily similar to the following citation from a person who had a spiritually transformative event not based on psychedelics:

I was handed an orange crayon. Yes, a crayon. I was told I needed to let go of all my fears. I was instructed to write them in the air. I did. I started writing these exact words: "fear, lost loves, frustration, hate, unworthiness." All of my hurtful feelings towards myself and others. I was told to release them. As I wrote, the top of the list dissipated. Like a scroll of some kind. I felt incredible. I felt like I was perfect, like everything was as it should be. Every piece of the puzzle was in place. I was aware of things on the outlying edges of my own consciousness. Like, all I had to do was focus on them, as they were already there—I just allow them into my sight. Everything I could ever want, was available. I just had to let it in. See it. Kind of like when you lose something. You go back and look and look in the same places. Suddenly, the tenth time you open the drawer, you see it there! It wasn't magically put there, it was there the entire time, you just didn't see it! Now, I saw it!! It was the law of manifestation right in front of me. How everything is there, I just have to let it come forward. If I got rid of all this fear, and all the feelings it created, I could effortlessly let it roll into my line of vision. It was already mine, I just needed to see it. http://www.nderf.org/NDE...periences/lori_e_ste.htm