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Perspectives That Help Us To Relax Options
 
Beelzebozo
#1 Posted : 12/2/2012 7:03:12 PM

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There are many, many perspectives on the sensory soup that is existence, and, from my experience, not a single one that is not transitory and empty. What I mean is, there is no point of view that is the one right, true way to see life, each one is "correct" as long as you say it is, and as soon as you change your mind, suddenly it's just one perspective among many.

I start out saying that because my purpose in creating this thread is to posit, from a very open and skeptical grounding, that certain ways of modeling experience may be more relaxing than others. Hopefully, that mature starting place will prevent too much argument over whose view is "true," etc. (Ultimately, to me, we're just using letters to mold the unknown into different shapes of perception.) I'll share a perspective I find deeply, deeply relaxing and everyone else is welcome to share their own. Ideally, somebody somewhere will relax and enjoy their time here just a little bit more. Big grin

I think real relaxation and allowing ourselves to rest deeply into being alive without tension or fear is what everyone really wants. Although we tend to put images on that desire, like, for instance, "I want the perfect partner," but what we're really saying is, "I want the perfect partner because then I'll be able to relax and enjoy being alive." Insert whatever you like in place of "partner." In my life, at least, this kind of thinking has driven me crazy. Why not skip the imagined goal and go right for the relaxation? It doesn't mean you can't still have goals, but why deny yourself relaxation and enjoyment here and now, the only place we exist anyway, while you move towards them?

Enough blabber, here's a point of view I find eases all tension, like a deep massage:

In the culture I grew up in, there is a view that each individual has a life, a life which is built of blocks called years, months, days, and hours from a point called birth, and one day it will reach another point called death. Birth is somewhere "back there" along this linear structure, and "death" is somewhere "ahead." This structure, called "my life," creates a profound sense of anxiety. It's like we're in this teetering skyscraper being built up and up from birth, and we are terrified of death because this enormous thing we're perched on top of will fall over and we'll lose it all.

However, there is a way of seeing the world that alleviates all of that.

Look around whatever sensory experience is immediately surrounding you, here and now, and try and find "MY LIFE," this thing which you're striving to protect, perfect, and prolong. Is it in the room? Actually look for it. Open drawers. Look in the closet. You won't find it, I promise, but look anyway, or it won't have the same profound effect. Is "the future" anywhere to be found in the room? How about "ten years"?

Your memories haven't really been telling you the truth, this "moment" is the only thing there is. And you aren't actually "x" years away from your birth (SHOW me a "year," what is a "year?" ), this IS the same place where "you" were born, it's the same moment. Death, which the linear thought narrative tells you happens "out there" in "the future" somewhere, happens here. Death and birth are the same thing, of course, what else would they be? The nothing after you die is the same nothing as before you were born, it is untouched by this moment. When you die, it will be as though none of this, what you call "your life," has happened at all, there will be no trace of it, because it is only memory, even now.

Now, to relax even more deeply, feel into the fact that the Nothing which this moment, the big bang if you like, is immanent to is who YOU really are, under the words and story of you "as a person." You aren't a life that's going to die, you are Death having a life experience, or Nonexistence exploring existence. When you die, this temporary add-on called "something's happening" stops, but it's not original to You anyway. Don't intellectualize it, feel into it, feel what it feels like to see from the perspective of the Nothing before you were born rather than the Something that is all this stuff happening.

For me, it's like sinking into a feather bed. And it has real depth too. Next time you have an "ego death" experience, it makes it a million times easier to let go, because the Nothing is really you. You're already home, with nothing to lose.

Of course, this is just a perspective. It's not absolute because it's only helpful to living people. If you were dead, you wouldn't give two shits either way. There would be no need to relax or posit any of these things at all! Laughing

But why not relax while you're here? Existence is SO much more enjoyable when it's viewed as a kind of game or exploration, rather than this teetering structure that's hanging over some horrible abyss. I have no other reason to support this viewpoint, but for me, that's good enough. There are ways to argue that the opposite perspective is true, but either way, you die. Would you rather relax and enjoy this something that is happening or spend existence tightened up and fighting the inevitable all the way? It's a no brainer for me.
Quote:
I have come to believe that in the world there is nothing to explain the world.

―Loren Eiseley
 

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cosmic butterfly
#2 Posted : 12/3/2012 4:23:54 AM

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awesome post! and i really needed to read this 2, been taking life way too seriously lately focusing too much on the future and not on the present like how u beautifully describe is all that really matters, its tough not to get caught up in it, like the ego is constintly trying to put u out of balance and inner peace, got to ignore the wants of the ego and follow the needs of the spirit. what u speak of is one of the biggest problems in society today, problem ppl looking for happiness outside of themselves when true happiness as cliche as it sounds is can only b found within, when one follows the wants of the ego thats chasing the illusion of happyness which has been programed into us since childhood, things like to be happy and successful in this life must have a wife/husband, a college degree, lots of money...and most ppl ive met that have gone in that direction are not happy. best to just follow feeling not thought, if something feels right than its right,





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changalvia
#3 Posted : 12/3/2012 5:34:48 AM

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Wow, I just want to thank you for taKING the time to type this out, it was really great to read and I can relate to most everything that was said

You definitely have your head screwed on the right way, power to ya and may your journeys be maximum illuminated!

Paddle out bravely fellow traveller Very happy



With every great plan comes the pleasure of patience. Take a rest, and grab a suckle off the teat of life!
 
#4 Posted : 12/3/2012 2:33:50 PM
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I want to thank you for a well thought out post that mirrors pretty much my stance on the matter. Wonderful stuff Thumbs up

tat tvam asi
 
Non Dua Natura
#5 Posted : 12/3/2012 3:06:08 PM

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Nice post, some real nuggets of wisdom in there. I'll comment more on it when I get the chance, but I think you've expressed this idea very well and with a down-to-earth clarity sorely lacking in a lot of 'spiritual' models available nowadays.

Thumbs up
When it blows, it stacks...
 
embracethevoid
#6 Posted : 12/4/2012 11:09:33 AM

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Great post, I agree with everything. Better to be relaxed and keep your fight-flight system tuned and ready, rather than firing all the time and whacked out.

There isn't really much to add as you've said it all. The most bizarre thing is that we split our lives up into days, weeks, months, years. But in all honesty this is the exact same day. If you didn't sleep, you would realise this is the very same "day", the same happening, the same "now". I don't like calling it "Now" because that's still time centric and easily confused with the literal "now". Even though it's one moment, it does stretch for an eternity in either direction.



Beelzebozo wrote:

Your memories haven't really been telling you the truth, this "moment" is the only thing there is. And you aren't actually "x" years away from your birth (SHOW me a "year," what is a "year?" )


I understand the sentiment but I'm just going to be a little pedantic and point out that a year is a physical phenomenon independent of human consciousness; this is a year:



 
Non Dua Natura
#7 Posted : 12/4/2012 12:16:18 PM

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ETV wrote:
I understand the sentiment but I'm just going to be a little pedantic and point out that a year is a physical phenomenon independent of human consciousness; this is a year:

No, "a year" is most certainly not independent of human consciousness! The subdivision of solar progression into 365 days is an entirely human concept, and in fact such divisions of time have been subject to change, e.g. the Gregorian calendar replacing the Julian calendar.

A "year" is a concept created and overlayed by human minds, the movement of the sun is just that: the movement of the Sun around the Earth. In itself, it neither contains nor suggests "a year" until we conceptualize it and label it as such based on agreed upon designations such as hours, minutes, days, etc. Natural cycles and planetary progressions existed before human beings were there to experience them and label them according to their own conceptual maps of reality.

As for "now", to suggest that "it does stretch for an eternity in either direction" is equally time-centric as it posits direction and 'stretching' over time when neither of those concepts are apparent in the experience itself other than via mental imputation. Your suggestion of time 'stretching' in "either direction" implies something entirely absent from its experiencing since time is never experienced as moving in any particular direction; the subjective experience of time may seem to 'stretch' or 'condense' but, looking more closely at this in your own experience, it becomes apparent that what's actually changing is merely your subjective impression and not, as I'll call it for convenience, 'clock-time'.

"Now" cannot be found in direct experience, it's a convenient label and nothing more. "Now", when you actually look for it, can't be found as it suggests some fixed and unchanging moment when, in actuality, there is only a process of continual change. Taking it even further, even the concept of "change" is illusory since it suggest that there was, at some point, some phenomena which was permanent and not subject to change. From what we could call the "Ultimate" point-of-view, i.e. from the viewpoint of the Absolute, or God or whatever you want to call 'it', nothing ever happens, there is no change.

This is going pretty deeply into Buddhist concepts of the two-fold emptiness, sunyata and anatta, but these points are worth considering and looking at in your own experience. All of this is evident in your immediate sensate experience, don't take my word for it and actually look directly at your moment-by-moment experience of the world via the six sense doors and see whether or not you can locate a "here" or "now" beyond its mental imputation.

When it blows, it stacks...
 
Beelzebozo
#8 Posted : 12/4/2012 2:53:04 PM

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Glad that my description struck a chord with a few of you. Big grin


That's true embracethevoid, staying up all night is a great way to wreck the idea of there being "days." Even as a kid, I remember doing this and feeling really odd, noticing that our ideas of time and the reality didn't match up.

But, as to what you say here:
embracethevoid wrote:

I understand the sentiment but I'm just going to be a little pedantic and point out that a year is a physical phenomenon independent of human consciousness; this is a year:


Non Dua Natura summed it up nicely. . . in fact, I can't think of a way to respond right now that doesn't rehash what he's already said. On one level, there are seasons, but on another level, that too is a concept as the only way to know about it is to reach out of this "moment" to conceptualize. "A season" is never experienced in actuality, just the ever-changing soup that is this moment.

And indeed, ultimately, you could even say "nothing is happening."

Anyway, I feel that really getting close to the reality of one's experience and figuring out that deep peace and relaxation are at the root of all one's desires is immensely beneficial. Then, stress-creating thoughts and ways of describing the world tend to fall away quite naturally. Without any mental gymnastics, as one continues to relax, a different world reveals itself, right in front of your nose where it's always been. But, again, language can very easily deceive. Don't worry about the words, just relax and enjoy the colors and sounds and smells and feelings. Cool Let the magic that is disguised as ordinary reality find you.
Quote:
I have come to believe that in the world there is nothing to explain the world.

―Loren Eiseley
 
Crazyhorse
#9 Posted : 12/4/2012 3:30:23 PM

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I think you have a very good point, totally get what you're saying. There's a really good Alan Watts lecture (well really probably more than one) that goes into the transitory nature of time, experiencing the eternal moment and so on. I'll see if I can find it in a little bit to help illustrate the point further.

Anyway another perspective I've personally been finding very relaxing lately, is letting go of identifying with the "self" so strongly, and instead experiencing "me" as something like a ride, or a game. Instead of wrapping my whole identity up in the doings of this particular person, I'm gradually coming to identify my "real" self more with the one who is currently TAKING the "Crazyhorse" ride, or PLAYING the "me" game. I also conceive of this as being exactly the same consciousness who is currently playing the "You" and "Him" and "Her" game, the "bird" game and the "fish" game, as well as all others that are happening in this current moment, or in any moment of what we'd call the past or future. The end result of adopting such a view is, for me, being able to take life much less seriously, worry less about what has or will happen to "me", and therefore be able to just have fun and enjoy the ride much more.
No direction but to follow what you know,
No direction but a faith in her decision,
No direction but to never fight her flow,
No direction but to trust the final destination.
 
No Knowing
#10 Posted : 12/4/2012 9:38:33 PM

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Awesome post, Beelzebozo...People do really seem to have a hard time relaxing and flowing with life these days.

As a friend of mine said, "If you're not living in the present, you're not living."

I have found as I have adopted an attitude akin to your description I have less personal power invested in controlling experience. I am finding my energy put into creativity and personal relations rather than steering experience. I feel much better and life seems to be flowing in directions I enjoy.

Thanks again for the reminder to sit back and enjoy the ride.
In the province of the mind what one believes to be true, either is true or becomes true within certain limits. These limits are to be found experimentally and experientially. When so found these limits turn out to be further beliefs to be transcended. In the province of the mind there are no limits. However, in the province of the body there are definite limits not to be transcended.-J.C. Lilly
The Spice must flow
Zat was Zen and dis is Dao.
 
Beelzebozo
#11 Posted : 12/4/2012 11:07:06 PM

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Crazyhorse wrote:
Anyway another perspective I've personally been finding very relaxing lately, is letting go of identifying with the "self" so strongly, and instead experiencing "me" as something like a ride, or a game. Instead of wrapping my whole identity up in the doings of this particular person, I'm gradually coming to identify my "real" self more with the one who is currently TAKING the "Crazyhorse" ride, or PLAYING the "me" game. I also conceive of this as being exactly the same consciousness who is currently playing the "You" and "Him" and "Her" game, the "bird" game and the "fish" game, as well as all others that are happening in this current moment, or in any moment of what we'd call the past or future. The end result of adopting such a view is, for me, being able to take life much less seriously, worry less about what has or will happen to "me", and therefore be able to just have fun and enjoy the ride much more.


Yes, I enjoy this perspective as well. . . feeling into it has sometimes induced very intense experiences in the past, especially when looking someone else in the eyes.

But seeing the "me stuff" as a lighthearted game, rather than either something to be held on to, or the other extreme, something to be gotten rid of, is deeply relaxing and enjoyable.

No Knowing wrote:
Awesome post, Beelzebozo...People do really seem to have a hard time relaxing and flowing with life these days.

As a friend of mine said, "If you're not living in the present, you're not living."

I have found as I have adopted an attitude akin to your description I have less personal power invested in controlling experience. I am finding my energy put into creativity and personal relations rather than steering experience. I feel much better and life seems to be flowing in directions I enjoy.

Thanks again for the reminder to sit back and enjoy the ride.


Glad you dug it.

Yeah, isn't it amazing how much more energy opens up when we're not trying to be safe or obtain some kind of certainty? To be able to relax and enjoy life without knowing why or having some kind of external validation is the greatest gift there is, and it's freely available to every living being at all times. All it costs is the willingness to relax into uncertainty and the unknown. Big grin
Quote:
I have come to believe that in the world there is nothing to explain the world.

―Loren Eiseley
 
Parshvik Chintan
#12 Posted : 12/5/2012 1:42:39 AM

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Non Dua Natura wrote:
Natural cycles and planetary progressions existed before human beings were there to experience them and label them according to their own conceptual maps of reality.

as alan watts once said of clocks "don't you see? it just goes round."

a clock with no numbers tells no time.
My wind instrument is the bong
CHANGA IN THE BONGA!
 
Non Dua Natura
#13 Posted : 12/5/2012 12:19:21 PM

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Parshvik wrote:
as alan watts once said of clocks "don't you see? it just goes round."

a clock with no numbers tells no time.

A good way to get a handle on this is to think of the sundial and the way it was originally used to simply chart the progress of the sun through the sky.
When it blows, it stacks...
 
Beelzebozo
#14 Posted : 12/9/2012 4:18:18 PM

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Here's another perspective that I find relaxes the whole mind-body system (whatever you want to call it). It has to do very much with a point I made in my first post. I'll go back to it and flesh it out a bit.

Disclaimer: none of what I am about to write discounts the subjective experience of psychological suffering, and I am not intending to belittle anyone who suffers or has suffered from depression or PTSD or any other affliction of the kind. I am simply positing that the entire idea of treatment may create a problem where there isn't one. In my experience, having suffered from intense depression, the following observation is astonishingly true (I wouldn't be offering it up if it wasn't helpful).

The whole idea of "healing" in a psychological sense (not physical wounds, of course, for which healing is a very useful process) creates problems where there aren't any. When someone is trying to heal "my depression," one is treating something which doesn't exist. The very seeking of a solution assumes and affirms that there is a problem. However, in order to do this, one must completely ignore their actual experience of reality. Unfortunately, we've all been trained to do so from a young age and we're very good at it.

If this sounds like bullshit, try looking around whatever room you're in now for everything that has ever happened ever. At least this one time, discard the images that pop up in your head as "the past" and actually look. Is anything in the room but, well, the room? Let's get even spookier. Notice what isn't in the room, there's no story about what it is, there's no words attached to anything in it, and there certainly isn't that thing you're always worrying about called "your life."

The truth is, what quite a few people identify as, their name or "I," is just a bunch of letters. "I" is useful for social transactions, since otherwise we would get awfully confused trying to figure out what stuff belonged to what body, but it doesn't correspond to anything in reality. It's so obvious, but since we've believed without questioning since childhood, it's obvious absence goes unnoticed. Just close your eyes and try to find it in the darkness, ignore the words and images that pop up for a moment, just try to locate the direct experience of this "I" thing.

In actual experience, it might be more accurate to say that there are many temporary selves. The closer to immediate experiencing one gets, the more the experiencer is shattered into increasingly tiny fragments. Each thought is born and dies, separate from every other thought. Each fraction of a second is the birth and death of a different perspective. More than that, the universe itself is appearing and disappearing. Each tiny movement is it's own universe. Like a frame on a filmstrip, the speed of its movement gives the illusion of causality and connection between the images. Each movement is a new self. It is only in language that we create the narrative of a solid "me" who "lives life," and who has "x" number of years under his or her belt.

Given that, at every given "moment," everything is already over, what is there to heal? In order to find something to heal, you must use your energy to drag an image out of your memory bank and endow it with emotional significance. How can you have depression if, here and now, it's all gone? If you feel depressed, it's probably because you're telling the story of depression to yourself over and over. The universe is simply a blank slate upon which you (the succession of momentary selves associated with a particular body-organism) bestow meaning. If you don't like the meaning you're giving it, then stop! You are always 100% fresh and reborn here, in immediate experience.

The beginning of the universe isn't "back there" somewhere, it is immanent to every experience. As Meister Eckhart said, "God is creating the entire universe, fully and totally, in this present now.  Everything God created. . . God creates now all at once." If you don't like the word "God," ignore it, but consider the perspective presented, please.

I hope I did a decent job with presenting this point of view. Enjoy!

Edit: Here are some more quotes along these lines....

"To live fully is to let go and die with each passing moment, and to be reborn in each new one." - Jack Kornfield

"My solemn proclamation is that a new universe is created every moment."
- D. T. Suzuki

"The process of rebirth is from moment to moment."
- Alan Watts

"If you close your eyes, and just listen, you will observe the sounds came out of nothing, floated off, and off, stopped being a sonic echo, and became a memory, which is another kind of echo. It is very simple; it all begins now,and therefore it is spontaneous. It isn’t determined; that is a philosophical notion."
- also Alan Watts
Quote:
I have come to believe that in the world there is nothing to explain the world.

―Loren Eiseley
 
 
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