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My first experiences... Options
 
pleasants
#1 Posted : 1/21/2012 2:35:13 AM
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I have vaporized freebase DMT four times. The first three times were similar, resulting in intense swaying/rotating of the pattern on the wall paper, as well as flowing of the carpet beneath me. Oddly, I noticed little color, with the exception of a general shift to green/yellow tones. I only faintly heard the buzzing/ripping sound everyone mentions. I also enjoyed the way it seemed to warm my body, though I lost muscle control (as is always reported).

The fourth time, however, was rather frightening. I loaded a large amount of yellowish crystals into my home-made glass VG-style pipe. I took three large hits. Anxiety and excitement set in as I heard loud, intense "vibrational" buzzing - sounded so foreign. I laid back and closed my eyes. The pitch of the buzzing seemed to change as I laid my head back. I was bombarded with color. I can't recall much about the geometry of the colorful patterns; I was primarily taken aback by the speed of the visions. At this point I became frightened and I tried to clutch to reality. A couple of my thoughts regarded issues that had recently caused some anxiety in my day-to-day life. My perception of space and dimension around me was somewhat altered.

I opened my eyes and saw deep shades of red and purple inlaid over my room. I saw sharp lines vibrating in streaks across my ceiling. The feeling that my sense of dimension was altered was severe (I have trouble describing this, but it's almost like objects at different distances appeared to exist on very distinct, separate planes, yet they would sway in such a way as to appear to make contact with one another). Everything was swaying in motion as in my earlier experiences, but this time the color was overwhelming and the speed of the movement was much more intense. The strangeness of this increased my fear, and I closed my eyes again. I began to feel that the experience had lasted a long time, and I hoped the end was near. I felt paralyzed and the fact that I was facing straight up at the ceiling made me anxious, and everything felt very ominous. I vaguely remember hearing foreign sounds that I interpreted as music.

Time dilation was severe, and it felt that the extremely rapid motion of color (with closed eyes) lasted an uncomfortably long time. I opened my eyes a couple more times during the experience, finally discovering that the room had shifted in color to the familiar green and yellow tones that I had seen in previous experiences, and the swaying became more gentle. I was finally able to slow my thoughts and calm myself.

Clearly, not a breakthrough, which I attribute to two main causes:

1. I didn't vaporize enough. My three hits were large, but I remember exhaling the last hit, setting down the pipe, etc. So I could've taken more.

2. The anxiety and fear that came to define the experience resulted in my unwillingness to let go of reality.

I feel that this experience (and perhaps other future ones like it) is vital to obtaining the mindset necessary for a breakthrough. I remember telling myself during the experience that I wouldn't do DMT again, but this disappeared after the experience had ended. It's been 3 weeks since this experience, and I haven't taken another journey, but perhaps in several months I will.
 

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blotto
#2 Posted : 1/21/2012 5:45:33 AM

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pleasants wrote:

2. The anxiety and fear that came to define the experience resulted in my unwillingness to let go of reality.



That is most probably why my last hit was a fail and didn't get the famous breakthrough.
I need to calm down and let the things go, but in that moments i can't manage to keep my eyes closed.
Everything starts ok, but when it comes to the point i feel like anxiety.
Maybe i am frightened from the possibility my first breakthrough is going to be a bad experience?


Thanks for sharing. Smile
SOLVE et COAGULA
 
pleasants
#3 Posted : 3/15/2012 10:14:09 AM
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blotto wrote:
pleasants wrote:

2. The anxiety and fear that came to define the experience resulted in my unwillingness to let go of reality.



That is most probably why my last hit was a fail and didn't get the famous breakthrough.
I need to calm down and let the things go, but in that moments i can't manage to keep my eyes closed.
Everything starts ok, but when it comes to the point i feel like anxiety.
Maybe i am frightened from the possibility my first breakthrough is going to be a bad experience?


Thanks for sharing. Smile


I get pretty anxious before I take the plunge. I still haven't tried again, and I don't plan to until I'm feeling better about the general state of my life. Sometime in the next couple months I'll have another go. I also plan to do some under the influence of 5 g of fun guys.

My mind hasn't felt clear in so long, and I think it's necessary for this experience (at least for me). I think being in the midst of a trip might help with the anxiety too.
 
Smerrel
#4 Posted : 3/15/2012 11:22:17 AM

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I've had this once. I was unwilling of letting go so i blocked the breakthrough and just waited out the effects. It took a lot of focus to hold it back i remember. I don't know why i did it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
 
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