30mg of self-extracted DMT, white powder. Smoking with a self-made machine. 50ml bottle of "The Glenlivet" with copper scouring pad (pre torched and soaked in acetone). I used a standard lighter, and at first I only got a very small amount of smoke and felt only a mild weight all over my body, not unpleasant. I then figured my method of lighting might be inadequate so I tried again. I just set the flame on the copper for a few seconds then started inhaling a little stronger. This time there was significant smoke and I only managed to get one hit in.

One problem I had immediately was that I got that feeling that I'm running out of oxygen, like I really need to take a breath. Even after I exhaled the smoke and breathed deeply, the feeling was rather intense and unpleasant.

I noticed some distortion of my visual field and soon felt comfortable just lying down and closing my eyes. That feeling of needing to breathe stayed with me and I found myself hyperventilating. I eventually, consciously, told myself to use normal breaths, as I wasn't actually low on oxygen, and after a while the feeling of needing to breathe passed.

The visuals when I closed my eyes were not very intense, but were more intense than normal visuals I might have while trying to fall asleep. From time spent trying to learn to lucid dream I was told a tip of imagining scenarios visually as you fall asleep to ease your transition into the dream, and I now do this often just to help myself fall asleep, as sometimes I find myself thinking too much to do so.

I didn't have to try, of course, to make any particular images appear like I normally do, and they weren't what I normally see as well. I saw a lot of faces, and different parts of people (though faces the most), like spiraling down into a point but in reverse, as in spontaneously appearing in the center of my field and spreading out. I found the experience to be very easy to compare to how I'd feel in a dream, but not as intense.

Some time after the first hit, perhaps 5 minutes, or 10, I felt comfortable enough to take another hit, as I felt the intensity of the positive subjective aspects was a bit lacking. I admit I wanted to feel a complete loss of subjectivity. I found that I was able to get another significant hit fairly easily and felt the same powerful sensation that I was suffocating. I again didn't feel comfortable doing anything but lying down and closing my eyes. The visuals and thoughts running through my head seemed in line with a dream in more than just the subjective experience this time. The material I saw and the thoughts that were starting to run through my head were along the theme of "seeing what I wanted to see". When I closed my eyes after the second hit I noticed there was a light at the top of the darkness of my vision. (the room was dark). I felt like it was illuminating the darkness and creating the scene. When I thought a little about this, I realized that I couldn't look up to see it, only be aware of it out of the corner of my field of vision. I also realized that it felt similar to when I try to imagine a visual image instead of paying attention to what I'm seeing. It's very similar to the process of imagining visuals as you try to fall asleep. I gave into that feeling and suddenly, I was looking through my minds eye and not through my eyes. I had never experienced such a powerful onset of that sensation before.

I was thinking about an experience I read about, someone on DMT, when they saw an emerald city, or something of the like, and a fairy that could show them whatever they wanted, and I thought to myself, I want to see everything. The response to that was "that might be difficult, or rather, take a long time". Instead, I thought, right, okay, how about what is most important to me in this life. I saw what I would say is one of my fondest wishes for the accomplishments of this life.

I should say after that I eventually managed to take a third hit, with much the same effect as the first two, only a little less intense feeling of suffocation, such that I could try to take another hit, but there didn't seem to be much left to vaporize anymore. I expect that I had simply used up the remaining DMT in that hit, which was likely why it felt less intense.

I recall at one point having thoughts about how the illusionary-nature of the world we are trapped in was just a shadow of a more significant, spiritual, more conscious world, that was connected to and entwined with our world but which normal people find themselves separated from. I can recall thinking to myself how much more pleasant that world seems, but then thinking about how so many people still seem to be suffering in this world that it would be wrong to leave them. I can recall seeing what was like a neon-kaleidoscope-like image of our universe, like a mandala that's constantly shifting, with different parts meshing together, it reminded me of some of the "Sheep" on the electric sheep screensaver, if anyone is familiar. It felt like this was representative of the reality I was aware of, this universe, but from a different perspective. There was also the feeling that there were countless other "mandala-shifting-esque" universes that were interacting with ours, interconnected, and somehow either being singular sentient being themselves, or collective beings, I can't say.

Now, that entire time, I was very conscious of what was happening, and of myself. I could sit and think to myself how these were ideas that had consciously entered my mind in the past that I can say wouldn't be very surprising to me, though not anything I can say I believe or pretend to have any grasp of. I should also note that my ability to describe these ideas is lacking. My memory of exactly what was happening is not very good. I have to wonder how much of what I experienced was just a reflection of thoughts I already had based on what I had read other people described DMT experiences to be like.


I have to say, all in all I was a little disappointed. I think what bothered me the most was my inability to take a full dose and the relatively mild intensity of most of what I experienced. Part of the problem was the feeling that I was suffocating. Part of the problem was being unable to get the entire dose vaporized at once in the small machine bottle I have. I think that if I had a large bottle, perhaps 375ml bottle, or around that size, I'd be able to take in a whole hit, hold it despite the feeling of suffocation, and just get it over with. I'll probably try that later when I have some time, but I'm thinking about trying other methods of DMT use.

Well, if anyone has any helpful suggestions for the future, I'll probably try again in a week or two.

*EDIT* Wanted to add, the smoke never burned or felt uncomfortable in any way... other than the feeling of suffocation */EDIT*

great post, i can relate to the suffocating feeling.

when i first started journeying it would feel like all of the air was sucked out of the room

with near/breakthroughs, you lose track of your breath entirely, so you have to come to peace with your hyperventilating. when your breath itself seems to fade away and you go into the experience, no fear is required - just know that your body will take care of itself and you are not dying.

50ml of Glenlivet? think you might need a bigger bottle. From your description , sounds like you messed up on delivery of a good hit. 30mg is a goodly sized dose, you won't have a body for 3-4 mins, so forget about your breathing,heart beat (your body will breath all the same). Very few return disapointed after a breakthrough, dismantled maybe.

"I recall at one point having thoughts about how the illusionary-nature of the world we are trapped in was just a shadow of a more significant, spiritual, more conscious world, that was connected to and entwined with our world but which normal people find themselves separated from. I can recall thinking to myself how much more pleasant that world seems, but then thinking about how so many people still seem to be suffering in this world that it would be wrong to leave them."

Really digged this insight that you had here, it's a really good perspective to consider. I can especially get value from this and I think most people with keen awareness can also, since depression is a common reaction towards the understanding of the many predicaments that inhibit humanity at the moment.

Hey again, I'm pretty aware that the DMT was good, the dose was good, and that it was because it was my first time I wasn't really prepared for how to smoke it properly, especially considering I had to break up 3 or 4 hits across what may have been a 20 minute or so timespan.

I'll be trying again soon, 7.5x large bottle this time, though similar construction, so it should be much easier to more quickly get a single big hit into the bottle, then suck it up and hold it, take it as much as I can.

That's the plan for the next experiment.

I think what was disappointing was that I found the pain of suffocation really distracting, which made it hard to think of what to do, or even try to do it.