Brew was 50/50 mix: 8 grams Mimosa & 8 grams Chaliponga, w/ caapi vine "This dosage is what I used, I do not condone anyone else to follow this dosage. Please be cautious, and respect the plants.
9:05 listen to Enigma "Deja vu" to relax
9:10 started to drink the Maoi
9:15 finished all the caapi
9:24 Slight euphoria & tingling sensation may just be placebo effect
9:30 Feeling the inhibition, began to drink Mimosa & chali
9:31 throat feels weird, slight constriction "thoughts of fear began about the MAOI"
9:38 feeling sick and woozy "I tray and think positive"
9:43 still trying to drink the nastiest shit in my life, goose bumps, throat swelling, feeling sick
9:45 I didn’t puke yet finished the tea. Yuck!! I feel slight effects “placebo maybe” going to lay down =)
9: 51 I puked, The purge felt amazing as it came out I felt the negative energies and the fear leave my body. I held my stomach as I projected the darkness out of my body. My jaw tights as I press my bottom teeth against my top, much like how opiates do.
10:00 I Fall on floor, I feel a pulse flowing through my body possibly my heart beat or heart chakra. It begins to intensify and I hear a sound similar to a "hum." This pulse seems to flow through my whole body, it feels kinda electric. I feel my senses of my body slowly fade out as if my consciousness is being expanded past my body. As i lay on my floor I feel as if it becomes apart of me. This feeling of Oneness was beautiful.I feel as If my body has dissolved or faded out of reality. This is not scary but rather a warm feeling of acceptance. I began to have close eyed visuals as I feel my perception of reality change. First I see a spec of white light. I go to focus on it and the light disappears.I than start to see my eyes looking back at me, and as I look at my own eyes the pupils are reflecting the milky-way. Now I have no since of a body. I am rather watching things play out like a movie. As I continue to look in to the transparent eyes and the reflection a small while light reappears. The light then rapidly grows. I feel a heavy force on my body all of a sudden, my teeth began to chatter against each other. I now feel my eyes flutter. There is this force on my body, that pushes me through something. My Personal boundaries melt away again; I became nothing and yet everything. I began to see a tunnel that goes on infinitely it seems to be composed of my life experiences, like tiny snap shots of my life, "could this be my sub-concussions?" I don't hear a voice but rather something is communicating with me rather telepathically, it was giving me knowledge of numerology, How the solar system fits in the phi ratio. I get this understanding as I am being projected through the universe at a smooth speed. And how phi goes from one extreme to the next, the feminine vs the masculine. It shows me how masculine energy is destruction and feminine is nourishing. I then go through a series of scenes in my life showing how destructive I have been to those I love most. I see that I always blamed others for my problems when it was me who was guilty, I felt a strong since of empathy for all those I hurt. From my anger, I hurt many who I cared deeply about.I see how I need to become more conscious of my actions and choices. Not just letting things happen but thinking first. I get the feeling that the heart is the key to everything, and that love is the only answer. Where I have always been a man of knowledge and rational thought, but not emotional. I get a awesome since of oneness and I began to really see the cycle of life, how nothing really is linear. I feel as if my education gave me a mine set of linear thinking. A beginning that is followed my and end, or cause & effect. I feel as if my thinking has had negative impacts on the people in my life and how I need to change.
*The duration of my experience was about 6 hours. I could not get detailed into my visions because the most profround part was what I felt and what lessons I was showed.
After having the visions I tried to some up the revelation I had, So with out getting into my personal problems I'll try and explain what I was shown. My visions helped me see how my wrong my thinking was because everything in nature was based on cycles. It reminds me of the question which came first the chicken or the egg? Where the answer I was given was neither, but rather the cycle of the 2 was created first. Because there is a chicken inside the egg, and there are eggs inside the chicken. I feel as if to often do we try and explain things on the singular level when nothing is entirely singular. To often do we find ourselves thinking in a linear way. Where as in the East they think in a circular or spiraling fashion. If we chose to think in a linear way it leads to cause and effect, while these apply to circular thinking as well there is a major difference. This reminds me of the Lion King and the “circle of life” and how everything is connected. The flower of life is a perfect representation on how life is not linear. Linear thinking is the attribute of Masculine thinking. Masculine thinking by itself is extremely dangerous. It’s why our society is backwards. War, genocide,greed, murder, rape, violence, ignorance, ect. The feminine thinking is best represented my a circle. What we fail to grasp is Masculine thinking is of the “physical” and ‘material” world.I feel that it makes us want to blame someone els for our problems. True feminine thinking is of a spiritual nature, it is the “circle of life.” It is non-material, it is abstract, best represented by emotions, It’s something you have feel. When understanding this we can apply it to our lives. How emotions effect and govern our lives would be a great idea to touch base on.We need to stop thinking backwards–stop thinking linear. By understanding the Feminine we can greatly fix the damage to our world. We think that events happen, than the emotions come. I say It’s not bad things that makes us sad, it is the emotion causing the negative events in our lives. So change your out look on how the system works. Be happy and bring about the good events. When you feel true happiness, and you hold onto that divine feeling, your life will greatly benefit. It is our thinking that is backwards, our culture, our lives. The struggles, conflicts,and problems, as well as the answers and solutions, are "ALL WITHIN US." The answer to our problems in life seem to be our perception of polarity, Good things & bad things. When all these things must be.
This was just one of me experiences from my perception. While this seems to be beautiful to me, it might be the opposite to you, but the 6 hour experience I had greatly changed my life for the better. This is the first time I shared one of my experiences online so I hope you enjoy.
"If the flesh came into being because of spirit, that is a marvel, but if spirit came into being because of the body, that is a marvel of marvels. Yet I marvel at how this great wealth has come to dwell in this poverty." -Gospel of Thomas