Namaste Nexus!

in this first post im gonna try to explain some of my background and why my journey ends up here.
i have always been drawn to mystic topics and been intrested in ancient history, religion, spiritualism and conspiracy theorys.
when i was a teenager i had my first pshychedelic experinces. i had 2 shroom experinces the first started well and ended up in kaos, the second one was not as intense and i had a good time. i also had a beutiful comforting experience with shroom/mescaline tea.
after this i didnt do many more psychedelic adventures untile 4-3 years ago. i always felt its calling deep inside me but never answered! okay so i think it was 4 years ago my friend told me he had been given some hoffman millenium hits.
it was me my cousine, my friend and his girl friend. i was the most experienced one of us(haha).
we took 2 each becouse my friends contact told us to. we later spoke to him to ask about the doses on them and he said it was like 200+ mcg per hit (he prepared them).
so we had the most profound, intense spiritual experience of our lives and biggest for me was that i learned how to surrender to the substance and enjoy something potentially frieghtning. the others struggled a bit but i think they got a bit shook up by the experience and have not done much adventureing after that occasion.
so this was sort of the kick start for my journey. I started to read more about the generall subjekt of psychedelics and at the same time i met a friend (who has been an active member of the nexus for some years) he and i started this path of the psychonaut together for some years now. well we done all the old known pshycedelic compounds and experimented with a few rc´s and researched about dmt and ayahuasca. the mystic and realness of dmt and especially ayahuasca had been calling me for some time now and i aquired some ingredients aswell so i was just gathering the courage, calm and focus to test it.
in the middle of all this i had a extremly sad and heartbreaking end of a very important relationship. this totally crushed me!
it was a couple of weeks of pure disaster until one night i just hit rock bottom. (to add i had quit my neewly aqquired job cus i just couldnt cope with work at that time) so i was lying on the floor just crying my eyes out, screaming of the top of my lungs totally disorientated and out of balance with the universe untile i couldnt scream or cry anymore.
totally blank in my mind i fell a sleep and i remember i dreamed about meeting people or spirits i dont know becuase it was so blurry, but when i woke up the message couldnt be clearer. YOU ARE GOING TO DRINK THE BREW AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALLRIGHT!!!
it was a friday. Perfekt i called up my friend who i were on this path with and for some reason he was all on the same page as me.
so we boiled up 2 brews 1 with caapi and rue, and another includeing mimosa and chaliponga. we measured up so that we would have enough maois and about 5 grams of dmt carrier. since it was my first time i started with a little more then half of my dmt dose and sat back.
the experience changed my life it was a smooth, kind, nurturing mild visions like dream pictures of landscapes that looked like mars with egyptian like pyramids and obelisks i was hoovering thru time and space between different dimensions in bliss and love!
and my altered pure counciousness was like the voice of god! YOU ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOURE SELF, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE, THE UNIVERSE IS WITHIN US ALL AND YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE!

So this is how it started now i have more reports after that occasion that i have to write down and share. a lot has happened since that first time, but this is my presentation for now.
Bless you all seekers!

Thanks for sharing your story!

one question, you said:
"we measured up so that we would have enough maois and about 5 grams of dmt carrier"

I'm confused about what you mean here ^. Do you mean the brew had 2.5g of mimosa and 2.5g of chaliponga or?


welcome to the nexus!

hey! glad you liked it I think we boiled more then just for that journey, maybe 10 - 20g of each plant then split the volume up so we had 5 grams of mixed juice. i hope that helped explain! be safe!

sounds like you had a wonderfully delightful experience.
i failed pretty hard at my attempt to make aya. im going to make another brew soon enough, with hopes of experiencing the bliss you spoke of.
ive come to understand the experience is different if you already have come to realizations, and you drink the brew while at complete inner peace and understanding.

yes jessi i think my state of mind made alot of difference actually! ive done it 6 times since then but only the occasion two weeks after that really worked! ive done it 5 times close to each other recently and nothing! i myself think i wasnt as open these times and i didnt do it as ritual as those first times and i cant actually find any other reason why it didnt work those times!
i hope you succeed with your next attempt and that it gives you the same WOW experience as i had! BLESS!

Welcome!.. thank you for sharing your story.. I see life had brought you to your knees..loss is very hard being brought to your knees only makes our backs stronger.. so very glad to see you rise up. with new hope and understanding,without loss we do not understand joy. You are here to learn and i respect that so very much.. i wish you greatness in your quests. go forth and bring understanding and help to this world, there is wisdom here and wonderful hearts... what i learned here changed my life, the thing i learned to understand the most is,,,hurt people hurt, healed people heal>3 keep your heart open and use the wiki and wisdom of the great friends here.. much respect ...Oden

thank you oden! you are so right its scary! if i hadnt hit bottom i know i wouldnt be were/ who i am today and probably never joined the nexus at all! for me it was a total restart a rebuild and with the greatest teacher there is by my side. (you all know who i meen) see you in hyperspace. be safe!