Hello reader. I write this today to share my musings on my experiences with this peculiar substance.

The first time I smoked DMT, I was expecting Arabesque fractal patterns and alien beings. I did not expect what I got:

"As I set the pipe down on my nightstand, the visuals started kicking in. Everything was beginning to swell against itself, to shift and morph. The world began to take on an 8-bit, pixellated look. The frequency was reaching a crescendo. I lay back to enjoy the ride... only, part of me resisted."

What followed that misfire of a launch was nothing less than torture. I'd never experienced ego death before, and I fought it and suffered in darkness and terror for a subjective aeon. When I finally stopped struggling, though, I reached that timeless place where all is one, and I literally saw the beginning of the universe.

My perception of time, however, was so whacked out that I kind of had this trip an infinite number of times, over and over and over again. I was a beam of light between two mirrors. I thought I'd never get out. Thankfully I was wrong as my perception of hyperspace gradually faded with the drug.

And the second time I smoked DMT, I got the Fear and tried to abort. I teetered on the edge of a breakthrough and tried to hold on to my ego. I kept my eyes open because of the overwhelming nature of the visuals on the backsides of my eyelids. And though I was still in meatspace looking around, I still found my soul was naked before Brahman, for we were one. It was a beautiful revelation to me:IT'S ALL YOU. (I'm talking in the sense that the entire Universe is a conscious entity and we are what it dreams into existence)It was something so powerful, haunting, and sad that all I wanted was to forget.

Well, it's been three weeks, and something so profound is utterly unforgettable. And it's a good thing too. It took me a while to integrate this knowledge, but my life (or at least my perspective) has improved dramatically. I've become able to be in the moment, joyful and appreciative of my blessed existence, more compassionate. I constantly feel like I'm on the edge of something that transcends mortal existence, and I feel a sense of purpose (though I can't discern yet what that purpose may be).

I daily consider whether all this is delusion or genuine spiritual enlightenment, and so far I'd have to opine that, in my case at least, such an argument isn't worth having, as such a delusion has turned a bitter, social-anxiety-ridden, self-loathing, insecure and pretentious ****er into a gregarious and genial pretentious ****er.

Not that I'm in a hurry to use DMT again. Honestly, the way it comes on is absolutely terrifying, and even to think of the smell of DMT gives me the shivers. I'm also concerned that another unpleasant trip could undo the good work done in the last one, or that it may permanently stigmatize the substance as negative in my subconscious. I cannot be humble enough before the unstoppable force.


Held to a hurtling rock by invisible forces,
25 November, 2011

I liked the 8 bit description, sometimes things become very 2d(instead of 4d) with the DMT experience for me.
Hard/though/unpleasant experiences are very much normal if one wants to explore with DMT(I am glad they come quite rarely). If one is not ready to face/deal with them then the D is not for the one. Actually the hard trips have alot to give if we just give them some thought. Good luck with your explorations and may your journeys be plentiful!

DMT: My revolution and evolution

my experiences are different but in essence very similar, it has indeed become real once i accepted it


pretty solid path to master the mortal form before moving to the next stage completely

Nice experience description. I think you are very common with your experiences. Many people, myself included, have that same first type of experience where you are trying to hold into anything you can, and you are so afraid you attempt to abort, but theres nothing to abort to, nothing to turn off, and you have to endure it and confront it. As I have explained before though, this is ESSENTIAL to the experience.

The experience likes to push you to your internal limits, it allows you to have a breakthrough, because you are literally breaking through a layer of your fears. Afraid of death? Then, you will experience a feeling of death. Ego death or whatever you want to call it, you must confront it. Once you realize that death isn't the end and life goes on, you get a sense of liberation, and so your next experience will hold a new revelation. Once you have learned to let go completely, and you no longer abort, the experiences become a new level of enlightenment. If you completely let go you will be able to go anywhere you want. But, its all about you, letting go, releasing your fears. I believe that one of the main purposes of DMT is to cleanse our mind, soul and body. It cleanses our negativity, our fears, cleanses the false truths we have been lead to believe, it is a healing of the entire self. It can also be used as a teacher, to reveal hidden truths and secret knowledge. It can also be used to transcend space and time, to travel the universe and communicate with other intelligent entities. It can be used to break free of the material bonds we have enslaved ourselves in.

But, just realize, any type of bad trip you experience is a manifestation of yourself. If you are positive and have truly forgiven yourself, then your experiences can not be negative, negativity can not even touch you, and once you can realize this, the experiences themselves can move to the next level.

Nice, your experience is eerily similar to my first.

I totally agree

Thanks everyone for the replies. Its beginning to occur to me that fear is something not to overcome, but rather I should let it go, let it pass through me.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Litany Against Fear - Frank Herbert, Dune

I once had a vision (drug-free) of the "eternal universe place" ... and I too saw that we are literally the dreams/projections of the stars, nebula's and galaxies. When we die we join back with that energy and are purified. I also saw the future of humanity as we became a mechanized intelligence until we succeded at reaching the other side; without the need to die. I saw that once people merged with non-biological intelligence our evolution speeds up so quick, exponentially, till we fulfill our destiny and re-join with souce energy WITHOUT dying.

it truly was an amazing vision, and i've only had one of its kind and clarity.

That was quite something, were you meditating or dreaming?