Hi sir
More than happy to elaborate on all of those questions... This is actually great soul-searching.
I catalogued my first DMT experience here:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=26499(there was a brief changa experience before that, but it wasn't that significant for me)
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I was first introduced to psychadelics by a mushroom trip that blew my socks off. It was a group of close friends, an unspecified group of fresh mushies, we took between six and eight each. Fairly intense, reasonably enlightening, extremely beautiful. My overwhelming theme of the trip was that "beauty is being" - something I kept exclaiming. What it meant to me was that the beauty of things simply lies in their existence - that things are inherently beautiful, for all their flaws and inadequacies. In retrospect I really wish I wrote more about this trip immediately after it, there was some lessons I've lost a little bit that don't resonate with me as much anymore that were really insightful.
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My first LSD trip came a few months after that, one tab, same crowd as the mushies trip, in a friend's house. Also insightful, pretty trippy, a bit scary at points, really really fun. I attempted to write and draw some things on paper... I'm not an artist by any means, so it was just silly scrawls. I had a sense that everything came down to this one singularity, and attempted to express this through what I drew. I've actually got the paper somewhere in my drawer, I should find it and reexamine it.
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I had a few trips after that, but nothing too significant - more fun than introspective. Until recently when I went camping and did two drops of liquid with another group of close friends - some of which I had tripped with before, some not. Up until these two trips I had been in a bit of slump in life - I wasn't depressed, but I felt like something was amiss since I got home from a big trip away. I didn't feel I was on the right path in life. Things weren't working out the way I wanted them to.
The first trip, at a friend's house in the bush, was amazing. My most visual LSD trip to date - things really shimmered, shifted, and glowed. I twirled fire (with a fire-staff, for the first time) while near peaking which was such a visceral experience where I was so utterly present and fascinated in the moment. The highlight of that trip, though, was when I went to lay down in the room I was sleeping in, put on Bonobo's Black Sands, crawled into bed and meditated. It felt like my being dissolved into the ether of the universe, and I was enveloped in rainbows, experiencing amazing physical sensations through my body, and was travelling through this gorgeous green landscape. The more present I got - the more focused on my breath in meditation, the more beautiful the landscape got, the more pleasurable the sensations got.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4rVc0cSQ6oI came to after about ten or fifteen minutes of this and immediately wrote down,
"don't forget to breathe."
This is a lesson that's stuck with me to this day. Enjoy the present moment. Exist. Stop wanting things. Just go with the flow. Focus on your breath more often. You don't always need external things stimulating your mind - don't play with your phone on the train, stop thinking and trying to analyse everything. Just exist.
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The trip after that, at the festival we went to, was also magical, but a bit more challenging at points. This was two drops as well, but only two days after our previous trip. We saw an amazing psytrance act about an hour into the trip, but I was feeling very little. I decided to leave my friends and go on an adventure - this turned interesting. I met some strangers that were sitting in the meditation tent, with the most spectacular facepaint on. They were incredibly still, just meditating, not talking too much, smiling at me a lot, and passing around a joint - which I toked on. Things got weird, fast. I lost a grip on reality a little, and the way my new friends were behaving suddenly seemed bizarre. I asked the girl of the group what was going on. She simply smiled and said, "don't worry. you brought all these here. you brought all this together and manifested this."
WHOA! I was a bit overwhelmed, and confused, utterly confused, by the depth of her answer. I asked her, bewildered, if she was real, or if she was my spirit guide?
She smiled again, and told me, "I'm whatever you need to me to be."
WHOA! This was amazingly poignant thing to say, but not exactly helping ground me. I just settled on going "okay..." and meditating with them. As I closed my eyes and focused on my breath, I got taken somewhere deep. Real deep. It felt like the universe dissolved into vibrations and single particles, then it felt like my body was pulled apart! It wasn't painful, just... bizarre, really. It felt like my body pulled apart into tiny, square pieces, while my chest was thrust forward and I was surrounded in an interlocking universe of rainbows.... Then I was pulled back together and my pieces recombined. I got woken by a question from my "spirit guide" - and it took me a minute to recollect together where I was. I chatted to them for a bit, thanked them for their time and guidance, and then went off. I felt I needed to find my friends, I was quite bewildered, wasn't sure if I was alive or dead, was tripping in my tent, or what. It was all baffling. I was fairly at peace with this though... I didn't feel uneasy or worried.
Eventually I bumped into some other new friends from the festival who grounded me a lot, then my friends group who I came with. Seeing them was so utterly liberating and euphoric! I remember telling them, "this is the happiest I've ever been in my life to see you!!!"
The trip from three was fairly uneventful, just good fun really.
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I really wanted to explore that space further, that rebirth/rainbow space, and I felt DMT was the catalyst to take me there... so here I am