I had been planning another real DMT experience. By this I mean the healing ones that you plan for yourself and no one else.
I spent the day being positive, and preparing for it by eating well, meditating and being extroverted.
That night I put on some comforting music, meditated till the anxiety of doing DMT subsided. I turned the lights off because I wanted to focus exclusively on hyperspace.
Loaded up a bong with a layer of bud, a layer of DMT then more bud. The anxiety creeped up again. More waiting.
Then I hit it as long as I could. I held it for a solid 20 secs, then hit it again as fast as possible before it became a thing of the past.
This was the most intense thing I had ever thought I would experience. Keep in mind that intense and unpleasant are totally different things. At no point did any of this seem bad.
I knew what was happening, I recognized the familiar pathway to hyperspace.
First the incomprehensible CEV's, then the gigantic, hovering, turning chrysanthemum appeared, which I was thrilled to see that I was quickly passing through it instead of hanging out with it for an infinity like usual.
This became a tunnel I was aware of moving through. I saw the twisting patterns and dimensions of DMT exploding and undulating around me in this tunnel. Then I landed in what seemed like a pre-hyperspace landing area. This seemed like some place you land right before being plunged into the real trip, it was where they prepare you for the transition like sky divers in an airplane getting ready before they jump.
Two checkered grids parallel to each other were below and above me, they shifted colors like the top of oil into infinity. There were objects and structures made of the same stuff there between these two planes, it seemed busy and loud there. I turned my head to the left to look around me, then started turning to the right. When I did this I felt my face and head peeling away. It felt like a cold wind hit me between the eyes and was peeling my head away from around my mind. I knew something big was about to happen, why else were they pulling my mind from my body? When this was happening as I turned my head I could begin to see more at a time, like my vision was expanding to be 360. Wicked... but right before I could see 360 in this 'landing area' I felt like I was waking up.
I saw what looked like the normal inside of my eyes. When this happened something weird felt like it was happening to me physically. I was definitely not in my real body now. I felt as if cold pins were floating through me. They didn't hurt, but they were cold and it radiated where they punctures me. When I felt them I could hear reverberating but crystal clear 'ping' noises around me. This was bizarre, but as that was happening a storm was starting in me. I could feel rain moving inside me. Like I was a bubble with drops forming and trickling between the top and bottom of me. Never losing anything but continually dripping up and down and exchanging drops between the top and bottom. I could feel them whooshing through the air like rain, making wave patterns in the bubble as they landed. I could hear the rain echoing. This was happening at the same time as the cold pins.
Upon 'opening my eyes' as it felt like, I was a cheesecake in a cafe about to be sliced. This was all first person, I never saw myself, but it was the same way you know your a person when your not looking. It was a hyperspace cafe though, with brilliant colors, morphing, oozing shapes that slithered, it was different than the tunnels or landing area though, everything looked 100% solid. I was a cheesecake though, on a counter, and some guy was trying to slice me and serve me. This was discouraging, mostly because I had just smoked DMT and I was hoping to have a mind blowing spiritual psychedelic experience but here I am a cheesecake. Great. I tried meditating as the cheesecake to try and 'feel' the DMT again which kinda worked but I'd be dropped right back off in the cafe. Also, the cold pins and raining hasn't stopped yet. I decided at this point to start observing what was actually happening in the cafe since that seemed to be pretty gosh darn important to the DMT. Whatever was trying to slice me was too blurry to make out or remember but I wasn't scared anymore. I embraced being sliced, mostly because I had realized the futility and thought 'why not?', I wanted to know what it would feel like, and it didn't hurt but it was cold like the wind that sliced away my body in the landing area and as sharp as the pin but bigger. It happened fast though. Next thing I remember feeling was the pieces of me that had been served were moving further away from the center of me. It wasnt the physical parts i missed. This was like the dissolving feeling of my first experience. It wasn't too bad, it was sad to see them go but I was glad the other beings would enjoy them. I felt like it was a learning experience too. Like giving myself away was good because I got to experience small parts of these other beings lives. This became fun.
Eventually I felt my real body creep up and feel cold. I had a lucid moment and said "I don't care what Jenny is being a cheesecake but the real one is cold and want's to be comfy in bed".
This is when I really woke up and waited for the CEVs to fade away. The elves showed up in the woodwork to put reality back together for me like they usually do.
In all it was a very rewarding experience, I loved every minute of it.
Maybe I learned something. It was nice having the dmt touch on the idea of giving myself to other people. I need to live less in my own head.