Ill begin my essay, first post, first impression, and my sincere desire to be a part of this beautiful community with some information about me that i hope conveys an accurate image of myself.
I am a 25 year old male citizen of the United States. I have a great family, three boys under four years old, and my wife of six years. A resident of the mid-west, i live in a small, heavily cultured town and work hard to keep the family fed and so that my wife can remain a stay-at-home mom. I also do freelance writing on the side and have dabbled in countless other endeavors for years.
The eldest members of my family when i was young were Christians and had done their best to influence me into this religion. However, i had always been resistant to it for some reason. One of my earlier memories, when i was maybe 4-5 years old was insisting to my grandmother that God was not real. Looking back on it though, i cant seem to pinpoint a source or basis for my argument at that time. What would have caused me to feel that way? I most clearly recall the feeling that I had of utter disgust that they believed He was real. What makes this odd to me was that this was at a time where i had plenty of faith in Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, and Easter bunny, but the idea of THIS non material being seemed wrong to me the way she portrayed Him. Since then, my views are much better informed, but have always remained the same.
This, i feel, is worth mentioning because it has always left me fascinated with what might really be going on. Ive always been intrigued by what might be out there and what humans are capable of doing with only fundamental tools. Death has always scared me. Its not the passing i fear as much as the emotions i may experience when dealing with the thought of imminently leaving behind and losing touch of those that mean everything to me and who gave my life and everything i know a purpose. However, this fear had been based on the idea that this was all we had. With my atheistic beliefs, i did not believe that there was anything beyond death. I believed that while other life in the universe was entirely possible, i never imagined or pondered a deep internal connection to their realm.
When i claim to be a newcomer to this field of DMT, i tell no lies. I have not seen the other side. My psychadelic experience is nearly non existant. This knowledge and this community of those that are taking these bungee jumps into the other world and learning more about themselves, are a long shot from being widely known. Since i first heard of the spirit molecule, i have been a sponge for information. Ive read Dr. Strassman's book, own the movie, have watched, listened to and fell in love with the late Terence Mckenna. Ive read hundreds of pages online from trip reports to legality issues, extraction guides, "what to expect" writings and many others.
Psilocybin, lsd, and other similar compounds were always viewed with a more commonly found approach. One of fear and misunderstanding. This quickly morphed into a powerful thirst for knowledge and craving for an experience of my own that just may bring me some clarity that those before me have obtained. Then i found The Nexus.
The knowledge, integridy, and common brotherhood that i have witnessed here in the pages of these forums is humbling. At this moment, before i have even cast my gaze upon the veil that holds back another world, it beckons to me. The honesty and acceptance of so many ideas and visions voiced on these pages coupled with the intrigue and mystery of what awaits me on the other side almost squashes me with suspense. However, i do not want to convey in any form that i am intetested in this molecule for mere "recreational" purposes. I am not taking this new finding lightly.
The fear that i once had of psychadelics has shifted to wonder. The desire to shy away from the unknown has gave way to a very strong sense of belonging to this newfound community of enlightened minds. The fear that i have long held onto is not completely gone, however. I have a thousand questions and want to approach the notion of using this tool with the correct, mature, and responsible techniques and in a way that allows me to learn as much as possible from it.
I hope to gain guidance here amongst you all and cannot wait to talk with people that have seen the unseen.
I want to make many new friends here and to gain the knowledge and the courage to explore the furthest known reaches of consciousness. Please ask me questions if you have any or just say hi! As thirsty as i am to learn, i want to also continue to mold my perceived identity through this forum as true to life as possible.
Thanks for giving the time to read my intro and i hope to talk with you soon!
"Outside this consciousness there lies the alien world of actual things. Between the two stretches the narrow borderland of the senses. No communication between the two worlds is possible excepting across the narrow strip...For a proper understanding of the world it is of the highest importance that this borderland should be thoroughly explored.
-Heinrich Hertz, 1891
All statements and posts are fictitious. The author is attempting to interact with others online through use of a portrayed character in order to gain knowledge from social situations. The author of these posts does not and never will consume illegal substances or condone the use, acquisition, sale, or creation of any such substance.