Hello! I just made this *rather lengthy* post in open discussion: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=25183

I'll try not to repeat myself too much.

When I was very young I deeply feared death. I thought that since I would eventually die, nothing I did matters. I still believe this is true if we take meaning as a literal external objective value. Now I take the absence of universal meaning for granted, and I believe it is our mortality in part that makes us give ourselves whatever subjective meaning we have.

Before using any hallucinogen, I had already thought fairly extensively about various heady issues. For instance, I consciously forced a kind of ego death on myself after meditating for many months on the concept of identity. I decided there was nothing to it. Consciousness is crazy, I have no idea how to explain that, but I don't think it alone justifies ego. I think that most of our thoughts and actions comprising our identity occur as a result of unconscious processes, and that when we consciously think about ourselves, we are only creating an unhealthy concept of self which never maps onto the reality and is inherently reductive and breeds insecurity and strife.

While tripping I find myself re-engaging with those and other issues in a very energetic and excited way. I don't think tripping has made me learn anything I couldn't or wouldn't have been able to without it, though it does seem to facilitate interesting thoughts. I do think tripping opens doors to new, unfathomable experiences, and that our experiences are all that we have. My favorite part about tripping is seeing visual logic, seeing my ideas represented almost like an infographic, but with far less commercial and intuitive and far more fundamental and trippy visuals than you might see in a magazine, that nevertheless seem to convey ideas directly without language.

The closest I came to a bad trip was when my balls started to ache tremendously. I cupped them and watched all of freaks and geeks while intermittently crying out in pain. I was on the tail end already (though far from being able to get to sleep), but the negativity didn't bring me into any bad head space. Turns out I have a benign medical condition that got inflamed.

Mostly I enjoy the things people might construe as a bad trip. The whole point of tripping for me is the new experiences.

I've never done spice, but SWIM recently attempted it and failed to break through, and wants to try again. The other post I made is about that.

Thanks for the great forum, guys!

Welcome to the Nexus dude

This is a really cool place. I'm sure you'll find things here you didn't even know you were looking for.

Reading your trip attempt report made me think that what you got wasn't what you thought it was. It just seemed all wrong to me.

My advice, slow down. Order some good powdered MHRB and learn a good tek.

It isn't easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.

When you finally make it to Hyperspace, you will cherish every hill you had to surmount on the way.

Take care man.