The first time I decided to jump all the way down the rabbit hole was only two days ago as of writing this. I knew various facts about the chemical, but I never went to websites in search of meanings, as in those defenitions found in the Hyperspace Lexicon. So, going into the experience I only had knowledge based on previous experiences with Lucy. Also, I smoked an unknown amount, all I was told was this, "Someone like you, you wanna go far. Then your gunna wanna smoke all this". And, I had been on an all water fast for 13 days at this point.
So I got home with my friend S(who didn't, nor never has done it), and I put my sample of spice on top of a small amount of bud, in a small bong. I placed headsets in my ears, and put on a song I liked. I sat on my couch and ripped all of it.
0~5 seconds: smoke being held in lungs. Initially discomforting, but eased on very fast. I knew shit was about to get real.
5~10 seconds: release smoke. I groan "oh shit", drop the piece, then fall into a laying position on my couch. Literally everything went white in a blinding flash, kinda like in old rpg games where you get into a battle, the screen of life kinda flashed away. -Any physical times listed from now are based on S relaying info to me.
10s~2 minutes: I left my body, experiencing the vision of myself throwing up a pillar of black cloud/liquid(think Lost) from my chest. It flew past where I then was and into nothingness. I followed.
-I entered the place that I like to call the Nexus of Conciousness. It was a large crystaline structure which radiated white. As this form became clear, my music finally started to catch up in my mind. I then saw the sound swirl around the crystal in a snake-like fashion, glimmering gold and diamond. Then more noise started to hum, which I realized to actually be other songs besides the one playing, as well as multiple layers of the physically playing song. The sound snakes began circling the crystal in what I percieved to be a perfect circle. As the sound images looped over and over, and as all of the songs became clearer, I realized I was being taught a lesson about the universe; the circular motion of life and death, of energy, everything. The lyrics all began pointing to the same meanings, and I realized I truly wasn't alone. Many people had been in this place before, others have had the thoughts.
-The revelations of life threw me into a state of familiarity. Unlike familiar events in the physical world, this one scared the hell out of me. I had never done DMT before, I shouldn't be so accustumed to the knowledge and experience, yet I knew I had been there before. This blew my mind and all I could do was rip the headsets from my ears. The snakes exploded into particles of shining dust. The crystal cracked open, and the white light radiated forth. Out stepped Mimtula, a woman I had known about for many years, but never understood completely; a woman whose purpose I had an idea of, but only truly comprehended at that moment. I have found most people to refer to her as the "Earth Goddess". She was glowing a bluish-silvery, milky white, color, and her body was human like, though she had no disernable features; i.e. fingernails, nipples, privates- more or less a perfect Barbie Doll. But her head was what made her beautiful: her shape was very rounded at the the top, while her chin had an abnormal point to it. Her mouth was extremely tiny, and her nose was rather flat, kinda like Voldemort just not all nasty. Opposingly, her eyes were rather large, and glowing white along the edges. Her hair looked like tight braids coming off in various strands, but I realized her hair was more akin to plastic tubes. She greeted me into the crystal, and that's when I knew without a doubt this was all familiar.
-Inside the crystal was a shape that others have described similarly as a a moving structure of geometric shapes and colors. Pastel yellow background, swirling greens, reds, blues, whites, and blacks. Squares, triangles, circles; all meshing together like clockwork gears, and yet it was far more fluid movement compared to gears. I had seen this on my very first acid trip, when I finally "let go". I assume this may be representative of my soul.
2~6 min: My dad comes home. S tells me and I snap back fast, but not completely. My vision is so messed up. I can't discern what Im seeing at this moment as there is an overpowering bluish-purple light reflecting off everything. My dad looks at me and says(believing me to be sick due to my fast), "You look pale and really sick. You look like you're about to go to the grave". He leaves, and I watch my friend play Mario a bit. Bottom of vision becomes Kalidoscopic. I fell back, not into the hole again, but in time.
-I started living those few concious moments over and over again. I felt as though it must have been a billion times. Eventually, I became so intune with what was happening that I began to realize I was not only watching a loop- I was living it. Every sensation was the same each time through the loop. Every movement, every action. I had beeni in a loop on acid, and I never actually felt as though I were reliving it. Once I realized the power of reliving a moment, I tried to take control and change it. I thought if I changed one thing, I could change time. But the stream wouldnt let me. I was forced into the same convulsive movement that would thrust me back in time.
6~10 min: Time loops stopped. Vision completely Kalidoscopic. "It's been too long" I say. "Your fine. You're fine" S. Waterfall of colors falling down the ceiling and walls. End. OMG.
I like to metaphorically fuck life. Metaphorically speaking of course.
Oh yeah, everything I say here is a lie...