I registered to respond to the post at this thread: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=23771
Although I now realize I can't post directly there until being promoted, this works pretty well as an introduction essay as well. Also, I am 17, not 18. I imagine/hope that people here would be the type to let this slide as long as I post in a mature manner though.


When I read this post I literally began to tear up. I have never done any drugs besides marijuana, alcohol, caffeine, etc. I have however been interested in dmt specifically for 2+years now. I’ve occasionally read up about it online, read user experiences, read the science behind the molecule, so on and so forth. I am extremely interested in one day doing DMT and exploring the unconscious mind, but being 17 I don’t feel I’m at a stage in my life where I can handle it in a mature enough manner. I don’t believe I could truly respect the substance.

My earliest memories are not what I think to be typical for most people. They all revolve around the sanctity of life, and life after death. One of my most prominent memories was sitting in my private religious kindergarten’s mandatory morning chapel and closing my eyes. As a 3 and ½ year old child I imagined what it would be like if there was no God. My understanding of God was so narrow as a young child, I can’t bring to words what the experience was like. I feel like It was a dream, a very vivid reality. There was nothingness, just white, blank, non-existence. There was no life, there were no physical forms, it seemed to last forever in my mind. I was incredibly at ease, this didn’t disturb me. This thought seemed natural, as if its how reality should be, I understood everything by understanding nothing.

Growing up I always thought about god, religion, life, death; I had/have a strong natural interest in philosophy. I’ve rejected all religions on the basis that they do not seem logical yet I’ve struggled against diehard atheist influences to maintain a belief in a sort of spiritual reality within the mind. I’ve had a great deal of unexplainable respect for nature and life in this very true and innocent form. One way I expressed this is through this theory I’ve developed since I was around probably ten years old that we only see what our bodies are “programmed” to see and that everything in existence was part of a larger being.

For instance, as your ‘guide’ said, all atoms are universes within themselves and we cannot see this because we cannot magnify the atoms enough to see the tiny (to us) universes within. Conversely, there are giants who would see our universe as atoms within their world. This presents an awkward problem with time. If we scratch ourselves, we destroy infinite universes within seconds. But since time is relative, it’s taken the equivalent of billions of years for this to happen to these ‘atom universes’. I later saw a tedtalk by Richard Dawkins explaining a theory similar to this one, a theory which very vaguely ties size and time together in a similar fashion. It’s an interesting concept with admittedly many logical flaws but I think it’s a great example of the wonder of reality, you don’t know if it’s true. Is it true? Does DMT allow you to see these otherwise un accessible universes? What happens after death? Do you transcend these planes? Or is DMT simply a trick of the mind, a biological trick of simple acids working on the brain?

I don’t know. Neither do you. If anything that is the one criticism I have of DMT users. While I am biased on the fact that I have not ingested and have not seen what many have, users are also biased in that they have seen the chemical in action and cannot regain their initial skepticism in full force. It is a possibility that this molecule which you find spiritually elevating is nothing more than a distorted mask on the simple reality of the world which is before us. I truly believe that when you feel you have the experience to make slightly definitive statements about what is and is not reality when dealing with these substances that you have lost yourself in the most horrible way. For this reason, I am not ingesting at this point in my life. I don’t want to damage my tabula rasa state quite yet. I want to maintain my mystery, awe, and most of all skepticism as I peer beyond my conscious mind later in my life.

But I digress, hearing this story of your experience which lined up with my self imagined possibilities of reality brought tears to my eyes. It inspired me at awe with the magnificent mystery that is life and restored a glimmer of hope that there is something more to us than our physical form which has slowly been fading from me over the years. For this, I thank you deeply for posting. Good luck out there

allmynothing,
this was a very beautiful introduction and you are mature for your age no doubt. unfortunately we have a very firm rule about minors on the nexus. its just too much of a liability to allow underage people to be registered nexus members. i do hope you understand and come back when you are 18.

if it was a more perfect world i wouldnt have to be letting you down like this but we live in a society that forces us to enforce such matters to protect our community. i truly hope you come back to us because i feel you would be a great fit once you have another birthday.
i am sorry.
OM'