I had an experience (sober) where I realized the entire world was a bunch of fractals. I was driving down a road near a rain forest and I looked up at the sky line above the mountains to witness mist beginning to settle over the enormous mountain tops. As I imagined myself flying out of the car, and over the mountain tops I was imagining every dew drop molecularity, and imagining the fractal nature of trees as I imagined what it would look like to see digitally rendered trees building themselves upon these fractals over & over again, dropping seeds and repeating and then overlaying this image over time lapsed photography of a real nature scene of the exact same configuration.
This was a tryptamine consciousness I accessed by remembering my DMT trip. I imagined my trip like a flashback & I felt the "overtaking me" feeling while hearing "hallucinating intentionally re-creating" the tones I heard on my DMT trip. Then a bald eagle swooped down in front of my car, (doing 55mph down the highway while this happened) landed & took off. I thought to myself "I wonder if I accessed a consciousness of a bald eagle". The many-ness I felt was just like my trip in that the many-ness within myself taught me that my perceptions are entirely inside my head happening to me, and as a separate part of me "just perceiving" something makes it a permanent part of me. In that I mean several modalities (Perspectives) I have used over the years I believe live inside my head like a thousand birds that have made little holes in the side of a cave as nests. Each "bird" having it's own "perspective" I can put on and take off through. Kind of like when you ask yourself "I wonder what XYZ would say to this, or say about it." I thing it is a meme so to speak. Perhaps that is the wrong
word. The many-ness has a chance to become conscious and manifest itself outside your subconscious mind and into everyday living if you let it. This lead me to feel much as you do.
My opinion is conceptions of gods in any subliminally accepted way are dissected for meaning while we sleep by our subconscious, and (while awake) projected into a life like way over top of our sense of the ominous as a feeling we strive for. Call it the brains attempt to lead us by baiting our ambitions on a string in front of us for something that is so abstract our conscious mind doesn't care, but paradoxically speaking our subconscious is comfortable absorbing and playing with through shapes, vibration, feeling, and other such language it uses we can sense.
On DMT and this, my opinion is DMT causes archetypes that have the potential to become aware so to speak "do so" because when we internally imagine "God" to be real and talk to "Him/It" inside our brains, we ascribe so many consciousness like qualities (often the powerful ones) that our higher self literally is entrapped inside this segmented other self that is inaccessible to the common man due to his belief it is "something other" than himself. I believe this drug allows us to get in "through" with this (devil or angel on our shoulders / gut feeling that's always right) and talk to it so far as we give belief to it, it makes it more real (especially when hallucinating) and by the merit DMT creates belief because by the very nature of the drug is that it causes that profound feeling you have just created a feedback loop. (positive or negative) On the other hand I believe that if you have not cultivated such archetypes / memes / whatever or you don't have healthy conversations with yourself / (not possessed by demons often) then you most likely will refine / put in a box, or break down after trying on such meme, and after the trip look for a more potent conception to identify with / by default perhaps we more strongly identify with ourselves as god, or the nature / working world as god. The most playful root of conscious recall is like that of a child as this modality allows one to sift / flow everywhere / anywhere one supposes they should flow. This to me portrayed itself as me feeling like I was the sum parts of me through all my growing up all at once (while tripping). This gave me a sense I was more than I imagined possible (realized) yet also as whole unto my being as was I once I was born. A totally wild hypothesis I have is that ego death experienced while under DMT's influence relates to the separation from short term identification with memory away from the long term collective sense of who we are; while after the experience I believe the possible outcome of who we intend to become (based allot upon our intent before blasting off, as well as who we fear we have/will become) replaces the space between the abstraction caused by removal of the (temporal self / frontal lobe identification with short term) as a filter to re-interpolate the two halves now separated like a cognitive filter imposed from the outside experience (re-imprinted / emphasized) by the intensity of the experience leaving a mental marker as a reference point that causes us to ask "why we went on this trip?".
To comment on: "repressed memory = implanting false memories"
My alien abduction experience looks like either ( either sides of the = sign ) "shrugs" however I have more to believe my brain was re-formatted by them than to the contrary. Regarding this, I work with so many abuse victims that I can say one can build onto the details of a traumatic event extending the duration, adding features afterwards as a defense mechanism for the mind, skip parts by avoidance circuitry (tape-loops and flashbacks and screen memories) in order to circumvent reliving these events, as well as emotional shading of what and how they remember others spoke (tone, volume of speech) and also emotional over reaction reliving the event can make it seem the event was more painful (in the moment reliving the story / retelling it) than it actually would have looked (by a casual observer watching the original atrocity) or felt to that person in the first place, so we have to be careful to question while rationally dissecting the objectivity of the person remembering the event. Regarding accuracy of the "repressed memory" coming out, there are ways I have gotten access to these in friends of mine. It takes years of patient self inquiry and tons of work for the person to stop identifying, and begin accepting what happened to them. Anyone who has studied implanting memories knows this can happen during hypnosis intended to simply help the person recollect an experience. I believe dreams too can cause a cartoony masking of past events that can distort our minds from remembering traumatic events by shuffling and replaying the narrative through dissimilar dreamscapes. I believe when you give a difficult experience to "god" (so to speak) you are giving it to your subconscious mind to dissect, interpret, analyze, relate, and absorb. I believe upon re-examination of the traumatic event afterwards, the subconscious mind has a difficult time releasing the original pictograms depicting the event because it has overshadowed so much cosmetic touch up that the original image is distorted, and because this part of yourself knows your brain accessing this event causes neurological hell is reluctant in letting you directly re-experience it because it is looking out for you in your own best interests so to speak in helping you forget. By pushing it out of your head, you are doing the same thing. You can never forget something, but you can pattern over top of it until it's unrecognizable; otherwise you can make new connections off of it (to over obsess) and live vicariously through it (victim syndrome) yet that only places more importance upon it than it is probably worth.
I wonder what others experiences are accessing this, as well as the subject of the original post.
Hope I'm on subject. =)
I= SWIM = Not Me. The I AM I Does Not Exist, and is Referenced to SWIM Who Is Not A Friend I Never Met, Nor Hallucinated While Imagining The Is-ness of Suchness That Is SWIM Who Is Not Me, Myself, Nor I As The Expression Of Non Dual Aspect of Non-Dual Reality Subjectively Denied By Swim, or accompanying Me-Anti-ness'es. =) All Credit Goes To The ANTI-SWIM'ness of SWIM's cousin's room-mate's uncle's deceased cat's in-law's second removed nephew's aunt WHOM authored SWIM's 2000 Year Old Desert Scribblings from a drunk rabbit in the Serengeti desert found in an insane asylum under water, on Easter eggs, crucified by the on fire pagan music listening christian maniac from India running around believing he was Jesus repenting this bush he called the Acacia tree; So I Heard from a bum who claims to be SWIM, But I Forgot... And Again, "I" Refers To Someone Who Is Not Me.