Hello Nexians. After a little time deciding whether I should write this or not, I came to the conclusion that it would be very therapeutic for myself and also allow others to form a connection with me which is already very limited due to this being over the internet. This not the comeback story of an ex-heroin addict, but it is something I feel I need to share.

To start off with: I am 19 years of age and will be turning 20 in a month from now :/ I still live in the same area and house that I grew up in on the Central East Coast of NSW, Australia. I am very grateful to live here as there are beautiful views and a lot of bushland. I come from an educated background, a teacher for a mother, an artist for a father, a dangerous mix...

About half way through my time in the concrete jungle known as High School I started getting “depressed”. It wasn’t for any reason in particular just the fact that I started seeing a general Western Citizens life for what it is. The “depression” introduced me to philosophy, poetry, good music and strengthened my bond with nature. It was not until a few years later that I fell deeply in love with a friend that things got rough. I went from listening to the Smashing Pumpkins to Joy Division; I loved this girl and everything about her, including her flaws. Everyday felt apocalyptic. This went on for 3 months or so before I decided to do something about it, I told my father, who had always been the one that guided me, he is a very wise man. I went to talk to a councillor which I didn’t really like, I knew it was a long process and I wanted this shit to end now. I got a prescription for Prozac... After a month or so I started feeling a bit numb, but not sad, which was better than before. It annoyed me a bit at the time that the emotions were being filtered and that some creative thoughts were hidden but I learnt to reconnect with these emotions and thoughts when I wanted to. But I was bored, I needed something else. A friend introduced me to marijuana. This was just what I was looking for. Every night I would come home from school, get baked, listen to music and play games. I was so happy to have this euphoric state of mind to go to whenever I pleased. Donovan’s “Turquoise” would set my mind free. By the time I had completed my final year at High School I had grown bored of weed. I stopped for the most part but then started getting a bit paranoid when I did so I stopped toking completely.

A little while after I finished school a friend started talking about psychedelics so I did some research into all subjects related to psychedelics being used as entheogens. I was at the time working in a cafe located in the middle of a beautiful nursery. I started listening to Tool which was great because Maynard touched on so many beliefs and opinions of mine. I was back ontop of things again and it felt amazing, so I decided to buy some herb and give it a whirl now that I had sorted myself out a bit. I smoked some potent weed and meditated a bit then went on the internet for a while. I came across an image from the visionary artist Luke Brown. I stared at this image for a while then closed my eyes, I put my fingertips together without thought and suddenly felt an extremely fucking intense feeling, it was like a thousand thoughts happening at once whilst I felt energy running through my body. I could only hold my hands together for about 10 seconds before I had to pull them apart, it was so damn intense. I had experienced the beginning of the infinite powers and possibilities of the mind and was convinced that I would use psychedelics as entheogens throughout my life.
I smoked heavily after that and a month or 2 later I stopped receiving shifts at the cafe for what I’m guessing was being non efficient, as I was always tired from staying up and getting baked, plus the weed made me slow both physically and mentally when I wasn’t high. Losing that job was a hard hit for me and put me back at home everyday doing nothing but playing computers games and listening to music.

After a month or so I had employment at McDonalds and was not to flippen happy about it either. In this period of time I met my current girl friend. Having someone to be there for and her for me is amazing; I’d previously never experienced it. After half a year of care, warmth, love, happiness I learnt that I was a really good at being there for someone and knowing what to do and what to say in an intimate relationship. After we met I stopped taking anti-depressant medication, it has been around 6 months now and decides the occasional few days of feeling like utter shit I'm doing great.

In that year after finishing my final year at high school I was practically a shut-in decides working a bit and going out every third weekend or so to drink with friends. I was deep in an ideological mindset of what the world should be like and I was convinced being a contributing member of Western Civilisation was a pointless and I still am but was too lazy to accept that there were options to avoid the bullshit and grow my personality. I relied a lot on alcohol in this time period so instead of finding ways to keep myself occupied that would progress my mind and body I did jack and got drunk. Although I could of handled that time more wisely, I am grateful for what I learnt in that year, I did a lot of reading on the net about ancient civilisations, tribal culture, psychology, nature, music, entheogens and especially religion – mostly the Eastern ones.

This was the symbolic and nudging event that has made me turn my back on the way I was for so many years. About 3 months ago I was with my girlfriend in my room watching a movie. A cigarette of mine ended up totally burning a whole room down and causing very bad smoke damage to half our house. No one was hurt decides 2ed degree burns on one of my hands trying to put the fire out. I was devastated. It was a big wake up call for me. The days afterwards I barely talked and felt very uncomfortable around my family and girl friend. For so long I was lazing about the house doing jack and then I end up being the cause for half my parents house being rebuilt. I find it hard to be around my aunts, uncles and cousins who I see every few weeks because I feel like an idiot. But I am overcoming this; I know it was just an accident. But like I said it was a big wake up call for me and I’ve started changing my ways. I started working a new job 2 months ago which is only about 3 minutes away from home. It’s as a kitchen hand, 4 days a week at an age care centre. Compared to the previous job I had this is awesome and intend to stay. Yesterday I quit smoking so I can return back to martial arts which I had done for 11 years up until about 2 years ago. I am still with my girl friend and am so glad that I met her when I did. I want to flourish. I know I have a lot of potential. I intend to have my first DMT experience in the next few months when things have settled down a bit, I’m comfortable with my new lifestyle and returning back to the "preparation for DMT" mindset that I was in for almost a year and a half.

I hope this is not taken the wrong way, ie, a cry for attention or over dramatic. Writing this has lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders and I hope it gives an idea of the soil I will be using for my growth.

Much love, Mojo

hi MojoPin , thanks for sharing my friend
i personally am not so revealing but i appreciate the fact that this community has fostered such Faith that we can share our sorrows and hapiness with each other

first of all my friend let me tell you , you are not depressed , the word is "bored" , you are plain bored , human life is pretty much boring and quite simple , work-eat-sleep-die
i can understand why people consume excess alchol or other substances these days as hardly anyone has to hunt or grow their own food or fight for survival in the jungle , in the city you buy you food , work-eat-sleep-die so human beings are nothing less than bored and infact this is what has been mistakenly recognised as depression by psychatrists and people themselves

i would strongly advice you to think whether you want to pursue the psychadelic path , because if you do then rest assured you will never be bored ever , but you will become different and not the kind of person who burns his house down but one who saves his burning house , if you are ready to change the light of the infinite will light up your path , your soul and your journey , you will not simply work-eat-sleep-die , you will doing a lot more

firstly if you have not yet had LSD then you should start with that as DMT is really powerful and you will need some experience , believe me it will prepare you atleast have 20-30 acid trips before you touch DMT (i had about 400 hits of acid before i came across even close to touch it and it is still extremely powerful ) , i really dont know whether you are ready yet but JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BORED WITH WEED , PROZAC AND OTHER SHIT MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST REASON TO SMOKE DMITRi AND I HOPE THIS IS NOT YOUR REASON ,

if you are ready to evolve than welcome to wonder my friend , be ready to embrace the universal life , which is to exist with all of nature , try spending more time with trees , animals , with the sky and the stars , they are infact a human beings true companions not other human beings or the city life , you need to work hard , you cannot quit this western lifestyle and become a hippe (i hope that is not what you are thinkin ), you have to be balanced work hard , earn a lot of money , enjoy your life , spend time in nature , look at the sky and lick the ground for it is sweet as psychadelics make everything look so delicious , i promise you if i could i would eat the sky as it looks so delicious to me

its not the western world you want to avoid , its the boring lifestyle of work-eat-sleep-die , try work-eat-smoke marijuana-sex-jungle-adventure-travel-animals-trees-sky-theuniverse-LSD-DMT-evolution-enlighnenment-and there is a hell lot on this planet that i have not added to that list for it can go on and on , YES WE HAVE A LOT ON THIS PLANET so why avoid it , enjoy and make the best of it , do your shit yes that is right get it done , what i mean is enjoy your life and make something beautiful of it , don't waste it in boredom and fuck depression , work hard to earn your shit and then go do something exciting , spend time with the kangaroos , go to the dessert , climb the fucking mountains , smoke a lot of weed , use tools such as acid and spice to evolve and prepare for your death as if it the the grand door that awaits you at the end of this journey of life and the way to prepare for it is to live this journey of life with perfection , that is the way ARE YOU UP FOR IT ?

i have already said a lot , also welcome to the nexus

Jin, I could't have said it better if i wanted to.

So many people out there live the routine life described by Jin, but I can guarantee you that entheogens will ensure the death of that routine. Open your soul to this world around you, and live enlightened.

Peace, love, and prosperity MojoPin

I felt very comfortable posting it here, I know the pedigree of the peoples on this forum.



Couldn't agree with you more on all of it. This is why I wrote depression with the: " " . My opinions are exactly the same.



Oh, I do. I couldn't have it any other way.



I'm thinking about doing another psychedelic first (I've only ever done DXM otherwise...lol) but have heard responses from people who did aya, DMT first and it really doesn't make a difference since they don't know what they're in form, if you get me. I'm gona start very slowly, I can promise you that. Lol, to be honest I was a little offended by the assumption in capitals but post something like this and I guess your going to get assumptions...although I thought it wouldn't happen on this site. I am not doing it because I am bored of anything. I want a spiritual experience!



Definatly. I have a stronger bond with nature than most, but yes it is something I want to delve deeper into.



Shit yes! xD

Thanks for the post brother, it means a lot to me

I agree with the others here, I think it would be very beneficial for you to use entheogens based on what you are saying you hunger for.
But be CAREFUL!!!!!
I cannot stress this enough, weed and DXM are like putting your finger in the fishbowl, LSD and mushrooms are like jumping in the lake, DMT......be prepared to be swept out into the raging ocean in the middle of a tsunami.
Even smoking weed everyday, using mushrooms 6 times, LSD 7 times, DXM multiple times, countless ecstasy pills, I was blown away my world turned inside out and everything I ever knew questioned and re analyzed....not by DMT but salvia, I could have never EVER expected what I saw and felt the first time I smoked salvia.
Salvia scared the living shit out of me and I abused it for my own entertainment.
Now I respect DMT and go very slow with it because I know the power of these plants.
DMT is a much better spiritual tool imo than salvia, it is in basically everything it truly is the spirit molecule.
I will never again abuse plants for my own entertainment.
I will use them for spiritual tools and to learn valuable lessons about my own life.
So please be careful and do it for the right reasons, which it sounds like you are and you will be shown the greatest mysteries in life.
Happy travels my friend
and welcome, this is a great community with lots of good people and information!

Welcome to The Wonder

i just wanted you to know and realise the reasons for such a path , and also i wanted to hear that , makes me most happy to know that your intentions are correct ,
prepare correctly , set-setting , try ayahuasca first if you can ,

i apologise for the provoking nature of my post , i really wanted to hear you say that

Godspeed my friend , travel with light

Thanks for the post archaic-architect.

I probably should of wrote something in my original post about being a very spiritual person... Thought it might of been obvious with my reading interests. I might edit.