PART 1 (More background)
My previous experience totals...hmm...13-14 years of
occasional use of LSD (~200x), Cubensis (~100x), extracted mescaline (20x), MDMA (10x), 2CB (5x), Salvia (5x), and DMT (1x). Additionally, daily moderate mj and alcohol use, *very* occasional combined recreational/medicinal use of benzos, rare dabbling in "bad drugs", and way too much tobacco. Tobacco is the evil demon on my shoulder.
Out of these experiences and experiments, I've encountered positive and negative realizations and manifestations. I feel that in a way, I have given, in years past (and currently), to escapism. Never to the point of self-abuse or substance abuse (except tobacco), but it's obvious that I have used psychedelics in part for some sort of escape from dissatisfaction and disillusionment. I've never quite had the strength to pull myself up by my bootstraps, and I've never had the direction to tell me what to pull myself up to. As such, I experience a lot of mediocrity. People around me would probably be shocked, because on the other end of the coin, I'm always involved in something- learning, doing, experiencing. I have plenty of satisfaction in my life, but at times I feel like these things (making photos, music, pyrotechnics, producing fun substances, fishing, hiking, bushcraft skills) are time-killers in the same light as psychedelics may have been at times.
Ha! Weird. I'm torn between western society's idea and my own evolving, mist-shrouded concept of what life should be. I'm sure you can already see the dichotomy.
On the good side of psychedelics, my last LSD journey encompassed several months and the better part of a sheet. I stopped playing video games completely during that time, and picked up a guitar. It helped me once again appreciate simple "porch-sitting" type relaxation, especially out in the boonies. I have integrated many lessons from other psychedelics into my very being, and I am a better person for it.
My last Cubensis journey encompassed a couple months, including a 5-out-of-7 night trip alone each time on a beach. While I did not get anything specific from it, I did continue on the path of developing a more stable, and slightly more positive mindset. I found that I appreciated "the small things" more after that period, and I continue to, even today.
After laying it all out there, hmm....I think you both are right...I don't think I've clouded my psyche.
PART 2 (DMT)
I learned about DMT in about 1999, when I read Archaic Revival, and I experienced it once, many years ago, in a weekend full of all sorts of substances. The last few months of my life, I've noticed these little flickers of "something should change." Not "need to change something bad" but "time to evolve" or, dare I say, "go further." I've been feeling those little twinges for years, but they never have any direction. Well, hitting 30 makes you think a bit, so the signals are more pronounced, but I still totally lack direction. Life's tricky like that. Nothing has presented itself, and I haven't found the thing to chase down. Picket fences, kids, and dogs aren't my goal. Power isn't my goal. So far, learning and exploring have been the things in life that make me tick. So be it
I haven't dabbled in psychedelics for a couple years (maybe 3 experiences in that period), and I have noticed my mindset slipping to a more negative, cynical one.
I figured it was time for a bit of a wake-up, so here I am! I obtained a pound of bark and started my extraction. The shredded mimosa went for a swim (haha) in a NaOH solution. I've been extracting with VM&P naphtha, and things have been going well. I've yielded nearly 3g to date through freeze precipitation and a bit of evaporation of solvent to further concentrate the extracted material. When yields drop, I'll use xylene to pull any remaining goodies and wash the extracted material with heptane to extract DMT from it. Finally, everything will be properly recrystallized. I plan on extracting 1-2 more kilos and storing the resulting DMT as a salt.
Experiences to date:
1) Failed launch from lightbulb. Huh. That method worked great years ago.
2) High altitude test flight from small chillum mj-dmt-mj sandwich. WOW.
3) Tandem high altitude flight with buddy through bong and sandwich. YOW.
4) Same as above.
5) Close friend who hadn't taken a psychedelic substance since 2000 got sucked down the rabbit hole and said "this stuff is very spiritual. I don't think I will ever take psychedelics again." All hail the first successful space monkey! DMT worked its magic on the best possible person in my group! Hooray! (I give partial credit to the album "Wachuma's Wave" for his experience)
6) Solo high-alt flight in the presence of 3 friends. They couldn't shut up, so I aborted final stage ignition.
7) Repeat 2 hours later, in bed. Hit high altitude, aborted launch. Timing was not right- solar flares hammering the atmosphere. Boy they were pretty and enjoyable, but I was not willing to go there.
2 tandem experiences in one night with a good friend, wise fellow. We didn't have good music, but turned the TV to a cable music station- ambient stuff. Real cheesy music really. Distracting. Learned a bit more about setting and dose administration though.
9) Solo- almost there. Neat spaceship noises and several minutes of auditory hallucinations. Almost left my body.
So far, the entire experiment has been successful. I have been pushing myself with these daily doses for many reasons.
1) Identify potential ill effects of repeated use.
2) Explore effective dose administration through the sandwich method.
3) Observe effects of DMT in self and others.
4) Observe "subtle" set and setting variables and their effect on the experience.
As such, I have not really been able to explore "the magic" of DMT to the fullest extent. I'm too research-focused. All the while, however, I have felt the mental purging and spiritual quality of the experience. I have noticed that while I'm a tiny tiny bit "burnt" in an unquantifiable way from repeated daily exposure to tryptamines, my mindset and outlook has taken a solid turn for the positive.
So far, DMT has shown me a few things. I need to improve my diet. I need to quit smoking. I should (slightly) reduce my use of alcohol and even mj. I should strive for equilibrium in my life (duh)! I should be less of a "slob" both physically in my immediate environment and mentally. I should attempt to get my body in better shape, and I should attempt to conquer or control chronic lower back problems and newly-found (6 months) sciatica, both of which have held me back in life.
In closing, I think the reason I wondered about clouding my experience with prior psychedelic use was that I'm sort of "used to" that space. However, after really thinking of this all morning (I haven't gotten a lick of work done since I got here) I am starting to see that it's been something of a primer for DMT, and that I have benefited from past experiences.
I'm already beginning to navigate in "high altitude" DMT space. Thoughts are no longer paranoid, too fast, or jumbled. I am beginning to be able to maintain focus in the level 3 zone. I think this will prepare me, in a small way, for future endeavors.
I definitely plan on oral ingestion with an MAOI in the near future. I am fortunate to have the perfect setting- a friend's cabin on a lake, where we have done a good amount of exploration in the past. I am also going on a multi-day canoe trip out on a river in the hinterlands. I'd planned on providing Cubensis to that crew, but low temps have slowed that project, so something a little different is in order.
Wow. Thanks for asking a few simple questions and helping me articulate things!
~Slothtar von Slöthberg