That familiar humming sound and body vibration reminded me of an astronaut in the cockpit right before takeoff. As I laid there breathing deeply and trying to calm my nerves, I wondered why I purposely put myself through this once again. Some thing was drawing me to this place, an unknown force. I hate not being in control but I love the unknown. This was one of many conflicting emotions rushing through my body. I’m normally very good at controlling my emotions. If I’m sad I usually know how to handle it and if I’m happy I act accordingly. The confusion brought on by all of these emotions at the same time was starting to overwhelm me. I just wanted it to be over. But at the same time I didn’t want it to end.
I watched in awe as brilliantly colored geometric pattern of diamonds, spades, hearts, clubs and different faces in the middle of it all danced in a synchronous pattern, appearing, rotating, folding into itself, and reappearing again. Maybe it was the circle of life. I wondered why it was presenting itself this way. Was it my predisposition to cards that I play regularly, or did the original card designers “know”?
I opened my eyes and the television screen was moving in fast forward. My body was definitely not running on the same frequency as my surroundings. As the vibration and humming accelerated my consciousness was being transformed to a different reality. A reality where there was no time, everything was just ‘there’. It was very clear that if anything existed here, it was extremely advanced.
It was then that I was approached by an “intelligence”. There was no body or outline to this intelligence, just its presence. It told me that it there was infinite information available but most of it I could not bring back with me. I then tried to put some information in the back of my mind but immediately forgot what it was. The intelligence mentally shook its finger and said “ah, ah, ah”, like you would if you took scissors away from a baby. This thing is so advanced I was in comparison a mental infant. I was at this time that I felt more humbled than at any other time in my life. It told me that I was more than welcome to anything in that world but for my own good, some things would be deleted from my memory. The thought of something else controlling my mind like that along with the anxiety of being so confused really started to frighten me. Before panic really set in, the intelligence told me that it knew why I was there and it had the answers to all my questions. It reassured me that everything was going to be ok and for me to go with it to see what I was seeking.
In what turned out to be a few minutes later I was staring at the breathing wall. I laid in my bed digesting what just happened, trying to make sense of it all. I remembered everything up until the time that I went with the intelligence. Was I being protected from remembering whatever I saw because I wouldn’t be able to mentally or emotionally handle it? Something inside told me that part of what was erased from my mind had something to do with a past life. I have never necessarily been a strong believer in reincarnation, but after this experience I am much more open to the idea. Like everyone I’m learning everyday and am not fixated to any one idea. I am always open to reinterpretation of my beliefs. What I went to for answers has instead given me many more questions.
I have the uncontrollable urge to talk about everything that just happened but I don’t have anyone to talk with that could relate or even begin to understand. I thought about it for a little while and finally
came up with a solution. I raced downstairs, jumped on the DMT-Nexus website, and began to write. Thank you everyone for taking time out of your life to read about one of my wonderful experiences.