SWIM's concerned: on mushroom's he's died, three times in a row now. The aftermath was very pleasant, in a zen childish manner, yet psychedelic thinking seemed to thrive further and further in daily life. He's imbued in great understanding. Yesterday another such trip was taken, yet couldn't die. The aura of alienness was immense, and as such intelligence was experienced the body became a burden. The "physical"/grounded associations of reality are a burden everyday. The thing is, because reality became so questionable, maybe physical death would in fact deal the desired. We can't die. We're obviously fooling ourselves to an enormous degree. The monkey body is a hindrance to our expression. I.e., though more connected with "this", reality, he feels as though giving up on it: and such giving up is of the bodily/physical linguistic way in which it exists. He doesn't feel like doing anything, is literally dying, giving up. "This" is boring (a confrontation in the trip experienced).

I mean, on the trip's peak he felt like giving up - and that's the step to die (in the psychedelic/enlightenment sense): but how that is associated to the body is too much to bear facing the tripping contemplation of suicide (as though soberly acted).

He felt on the edge of experiencing the full blown, post-individual eschaton: because there is no duality between psychedelia and this bodily-physical/much too young world he thinks the people he's addressing share with him, such experience would bring the craved for balance. He thinks understood the way to it, simply wonders on how have others dealt with this. How far in the comprehension of our humanness have you gone? Have you gone past it? This utter intelligence is manifesting its way out of ourselves, and the thing is to, with it, understand the best way to, a way which goeswith the monkey feelings. How have you construed yours?

His experience is very linguistic/conversational, visually, filled with odd personalities out of which he understands - yin-yang unfolding to a direct confrontation with this alien intelligence which we are. And this may take on the form of, doing it with another, having the conversation of understanding each other to allow this thing to directly speak to us in the "voice" of one another. Just how questionable can you to me become?

What do you do when ego, no longer existing, no longer provides entertainment, IN THE WORLD OF EGO? Boring and dead. He sincerely thinks it went too far, but wants to go further because of the possibility of healing. And because the language thing is exceedingly wow. He supposes once the issue here dealt with is transcended, indulging in this mental exploration to a greater extent stops being this much of an issue.

A paradox is, it was comfortable in the sense that it was just a passing of the afternoon away. He doesn't know if he's more psychedelic than he should. This "should" is understood, hence he's not asking anything. Sigh...

To finish this off: he now understood the trip (as too the flaws in this post), and thus construed the way, simply asking for some assurance. This thing of suicide and killing has him sadly boggled and uncertain nevertheless - it seemed to be what the intelligence wanted because it'll forever be prevented from expression as intended, by the monkey; it is obvious his too atached to the latter. How alienated are you? And how do you live with it in society? I'm guessing the understanding of the eschaton is key.

Hopefully this isn't as confusing as I fear it.
Need some positivity,
thank you in advance.

Edit: knowing You are a manifestation from me, in accordance with my understanding, why do You (the present scene of life) change not? I may be entirely wrong, yet I can't but give You what You want. And what do You want? To be here? Because of how profoundly we can unfold/understand each other that doesn't seem to be the case. So, what's the deal with this utmost mundane moment? I'm not suggesting departure from life, but from the setting which yield yesterday's experience, day-to-day as known. The bodily imposes too much binding confusion. Perhaps all the understanding that's needed is that "I" want to be here. Yet this mind keeps excreting itself to the infinite... There is no duality here, both coexist - it's nothing but a matter of trust.