Hey everyone,
I have never posted here before! I am a senior in High School (Don't worry I'm of age ) with sights set on a post secondary education in the future. I have not done many drugs in my short life. Tried shrooms and mdma once, smoked marijuana, and I drink once in a while, but most of the time I am completely sober! Unfortunately I do have a smoking addiction I have a pretty crazy reason for wanting to join the bandwagon, so I will get started in explaining myself! OH! and I like football, hockey, and baseball! I also love Love LOVE music! I have played Bass guitar for 8 years, guitar for 4, and drums for 2.

Now to my serious biz!


I have stumbled across your forum by accident. However, I feel that term is inadequate for the situation. This is because I have also just recently started reading into DMT. I am _not_ a junkie or drug fiend. Although I have a feeling that this community is beyond the practise of individual judgement. I have noticed the unwavering support and wisdom you all share, and it is truely touching to see a society which isn't focused on the concept of the 'social norm' of modern today. So kudos to that!

Now I feel a small explanation of who I am, what I beleive, and what I hope to learn from this community is in order. I am young, quite young, just barely making the age mark for this forum, my birthday is today which is kind of coincidential because of how this all plays out. I wouldn't normally tell a bunch of random people what goes on in my head because I am always uncertain about their initial reaction. But you guys probably hear crazy shizz like this alot. So if you feel up to it, I am going to share my story with you, and hopefully shed some light on questions which have laid dormant in my mind for a while.

I do need you to understand that I am 100% completely genuine with all of this, I am not looking for empathy, pity, or attention. You are free to stop reading at any time I won't mind. Those who do bear with me, please do not hesitate to give your most genuine input.

I would have to say that I have experienced alot in my time since it began. I will not get into detail about that though. Let's just say I've seen things, experienced pains, and undergone change more times than I would wish on anyone in life. Again let me reiterate that I am not trying to throw a pity party! I'm just bringing you to my level

Anyways, around the age of 8 (so around 2000), I began to experience heightened cases of depression. I still don't understand to this day why I felt what I felt, or thought what I thought, but it _has_ become clear, at least to some extent, what I was thinking.

One major thing that kept coming up was the question "Why?" (Yeah philisophical bull poop cliche I know, bear with me )
On a more metaphysical note, which at the time I had no clue what I was asking, but now after thinking about it for so long, I have come up with a list of _essentially_ what I was feeling:

WHY DO WE EXIST? :idea: This was the main question, the question that really rattled my cage! I was always confused with the world around me. Some of the thoughts I had had in my head were really screwing with my psyche.

It wasn't until last year really when some light started to hit the situation. I was introduced to the concept of philosophy. All my thoughts from my past, I was now making connections with this new way of thinking. Now recently, roughly a year ago, I came upon a new question:

What comes after? This really cant be it, can it guys? I mean, when you think about it, life is so UNIFORM! You're born, you live, you die. That last part is what eats at me, after death there can't just be nothing. Think about the impressions we make on others through life, the bonds we create, our personality. That cant just disappear...

(If you are still with me thank you. I really need another person's opinion. We're nearing the end, no worries! )

This aroused another question in my head, and my reason for doubting that learning of this substance, and finding this forum, was completely coincidence:

IS THERE A HIGHER STATE OF MIND?
This one's the kick in the head. I mean, what seperates humanity from the rest of the ecosystem is it's ability to learn, to develop the mind. Evolution of the brain! Empathy, Decision Making, and complex Emotions are all strictly human experiences are they not? I feel, personally, from speculation(No sources, sorry guys!), that with this quality, we are definitely far from perfect, there is alot of work to be done to understand ourselves, who we are, why we are here, and what our purpose is. Enlightenment, for lack of the word I guess.

So finding out about DMT and what research I have done. Along with reading, watching, and listening to various individual's reviews on it. Including peoples experiences on this site. I feel an unwavering want, a need almost, to experience that opening of the mind. Because I truly beleive, that mind goes above AND beyond body. But hey, I'm still young, and I have a life ahead of me with which I plan to educate myself each and every day on this subject.

So, yeah! That is my personal introduction, thanks for keeping with me this entire time. I am not looking for a good trip, I am looking for answers to these questions which haunt my mind every single day.

Regards,

Periphery

Hello Periphery,

I truly enjoyed reading your introduction. It hits home with me, now 10 years ahead of you.

I too was yearning for *something* to break open my head. I went to university for philosophy thinking I'd find answers. I didn't. I am blessed to have found DMT and am amazed at how one proper hit of this incredible substance teaches me more than I could ever learn in the classroom. It is truly a gift and it sounds like you're on the path to some answers.

Many blessings in your journey.

My gratitude towards your response is undying! I have kept these things to myself for years. It is extremely relaxing to know that I am not just completely crazy, and there are others who understand my thoughts. Again, thank you.

Regards,

Priphery

You're not crazy - society just makes you feel that way. ... and for a reason.

One suggestion: Look into oral routes of administration - as well as changa. Smoked pure DMT can be amazing, but the lessons learned from a heavy aya trip will be with me to the grave. Changa acts as a friendly/gentle alternative to pure DMT without the length and intensity of aya.

I will consider that. But I have made the decision that I am not going to charge into this with the blinders on. I am first going try other, less potent substances. Salvia is easily obtainable in my town, and I am yet to experience that state of consciousness. I will definitely look into changa though. Suggestions are what I need. Like I said, I seek guidance.

Regards,

Periphery

Good thinking. You might want to start with mushrooms over salvia. Some here like salvia, some (like me) don't. If you want to try salvia you might want to look into a quid over smoking. Personally, I had a terrible experience with salvia. Be careful and have a sitter.

LSD is a good prep. Some call it the training wheels for DMT. IMO, Mush < LSD < DMT.

Best of luck!

LOVE shrooms, need to get me some again soon! LSD is iffy, scares me a bit. Alot of stuff has been pumped into my head against it. Still trying to obliterate major influences of the system.

Hey, Periphery. I'm glad to see another young adult come out of the woodwork, the conditioned infrastructure of our modern society, unscathed to an extent. It appears as though you've experienced an existential crisis at an extremely young age, not even into your teenage years. It must have been horrendous; I can hardly imagine the burden of excruciating thought concerning human existence and metaphysical concerns placed on a mere child. I'm sure this event has molded you into the person you are now and what you are becoming at every moment. Perhaps you may endeavor into broadening your knowledge of various philosophical schools of thought in college, or perhaps psychology -- the two often overlap each other. It is unlikely you'll find concrete answers when entering these thought-provoking realms, but you will definitely find yourself comprehending new perspectives. And that is an essential component to living a healthier, fuller life -- is it not? The psychedelic experience aids with this, in my opinion. Conduct research on every substance you plan on ingesting, and welcome aboard the great escapade to everywhere and nowhere!

Thank you for the support easyrider. Yes, I will be sure to thoroughly research anything before I consider trying it. I am beginning my 'quest' so to speak by increasing my spirituality and my understanding towards my inner self. Meditation is going to be a new routine I plan to adopt in preparation for the journey to come.

Hi Periphery,

I loved your introduction. One of the many things I love about psychedelic people is their amazing honesty, most of the time. It can manifest in many different ways here but your essay stands out for me.

The things, concerns, focus, etc. that you describe, . . . wow, that resonated deeply with me though, sadly I am 25 years along further down the road than you. He, 25 years gone. Haven't made a lot of progress to be honest.

Or perhaps I did. I heard about DMT at 18 and tried it at 41. . . . and exactly four days later, my spirituality was born from a dead atheistic center (birth from death; blooming from a center).

I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. I can tell you for an absolute certain fact, DMT really helped me a lot with these matters. I am convinced I am further along my own spiritual road than I ever was before, especially before DMT.

Again, a hearty welcome my friend. Hope to see some more of you in chat.

Peace & Love

It's always nice to see youth reaching out for truth and expanding consciousness!
Great to have more young people joining this forum.
Welcome fellow Nexian!

Welcome to the Nexus, Periphery. (: Like easyrider, I am young like you. And in a similar position in schooling (though it is partially my own fault :b). Though young, my soul is old & wise--though still with a lot to learn ahead of it. I very much enjoyed your introduction and I believe you presented yourself nicely.

I can tell you you are not the only one to have a rough upbringing, and perhaps this has made you the clearly wonderful person that you are; I know that, although it was harsh, what happened in my life has made me the person I am. And though I would never wish any other person to have to go through any hardships that I--or you, or anyone else--has gone through, I am in some sort of messed up way glad it happened.

I can tell you that DMT isn't like anything else in this world. I have not actually had a complete trip yet, but even the short, incomplete experience I had was intense. Let me put it this way--"Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" was on in the background, and I LIVED as him... and everyone else in that film... and everyone in the room... and they were me, while I was them... and everyone was everybody and we were all me. Sounds crazy, right?; It should because it was freakin' insanely crazy. I never felt so connected to everything... it was too much, it was too intense. I have also read about people's experiences, and been sort of a "shaman assistant" for many people's trips; listening to what someone has to say after they have tripped is most intense too. I also could make it without thinking twice.

As to Saliva? a1pha is right--some people like it, but many don't. One of my good mates who tripped had done saliva before, and he said that his trip was much like Saliva, but it was like it had taken him much further. And he said that he had liked the spice better than Saliva by a lot. And I wouldn't try it myself, but that is just my own personal thoughts. I would probably suggest LSD like everyone else, though I have never tried it myself. (:

Good luck on your psychedelic adventures in the future! x

hi periphery , welcome to the nexus
i understand your situation as a child , it can be hard but remember how strong you became of it ( atleast thats the way i look at my childhood ) , nature has a way to make us stronger
you have asked some really interesting questions , (but all of it quite philosphical and vague )
i'll try to answer them from my own perspective (which to tell you the truth is extremely twisted , i can be wrong but this is what i believe)

1> why do we exist ? well my friend i guess we exist as a proof of nature's miraculous and magical power to be able to produce life and consciousness from simple matter , nature's power to combine the elements in such a way as to make magic
2>what comes after this ? i guess what you are asking is what comes after existence ? what comes after existence is superexistence a state of existing on a different level , i guess the same level we might access in imagination , dreaming , and trance
3>is there a higher state of mind ? definetly YES there is a higher state of mind , its like the difference between dreaming and being awake , the difference between the delusion and the truth
i have answered these questions only from my own perspective which you should remember can be terribly limited so always remeber to learn and grow
also what you need to know most is an answer to a question you never asked ! the answer is yes , yes it all means something , there is intelligence behind the curtain , life is the fingerprint of INFINITY

Periphery-
firstly welcome. great introduction your truly an old soul. ill get right to it because i feel there much more important stuff to write other than the usual hi, welcome, have a nice day reply.

its great your asking these questions. that's the first step and to be honest most don't even get that far. since these subjects your bringing up have everything to do with personal experience and little to do with other people's words i will give you just one thought that can be a pointer to you finding your own truth. that's exactly what matters, you finding your own truth.
many of us can answer some of your specific questions but why rob you of your personal journey to discovery. so much joy lays within the self discovery of these questions you have.

id like to tell you to not look to hard for answers from outside of yourself. don't think you need a guru or master to learn all you seek. you are the greatest source for information once you learn to tap in. this is not just about dmt. breathing, reading and mediation are equally as helpful.

you sound like a person who will benefit greatly by an experience such as a complete dmt journey. if this is the route you choose you must learn first and then do. in a way to get the max benefit out of dmt and ayahuasca it must be earned.

read up, ask good questions and serve others when you can give back, there really is no higher purpose. i look forward to hearing about your findings. and of coarse ....
WELCOME TO THE NEXUS

Hi Periphery,

It was a great pleasure reading your introduction, so a very warm welcome to you!

So here are a few thoughts that came to mind when reading your intro:
I like to think of consciousness as something that arises through flow of energy or information in a complex manner. The idea that consciousness is the individual self is possibly a limited view. Consciousness certainly includes the individual self, but some people believe that it is actually something that arises in interactions, like in communication. The impulse of being, as they describe, is something that the individual becomes a carrier of. If the individual ceases to exist the impulse will be carried on by others. Every carrier though leaves his mark on the impulse, transforms it, and so becomes eternally a part of this energy. Death in that sense would be something that happened only to the identity, not to the actual "spirit".

As for higher states of mind and the development of the self (or the cosmos), you might find evolutionary spirituality or integral theory interesting to look at. Some names that come to mind that you could look up on are Ken Wilber, Andrew Cohen, Spiral Dynamics (yeah that's not a person), Steve McIntosh, etc. They have this theory of developmental stages of humans, discussing issues of higher states and stages of consciousness. They rarely talk about psychedelics but I did recently come across some audio-material where Ken Wilber discusses them and I am eager to listen to them and see what he has to say.
Things can get quite technical sometimes, especially with Wilber and his following, and a bit cult-like with Andrew Cohen and his following, but it's certainly interesting in both cases and IMO worth looking into. There should be plenty of youtube videos to be found on various topics that might give you an idea about if this interests you and can provide some ideas about your questions about higher states.

The thing I enjoy about the people I've mentioned is that they go beyond traditional spirituality where the ultimate goal is the ultimate state of enlightenment - nirvana. In evolutionary spirituality the ultimate goal is eternal progress and development and full presence in this act of evolution. They see spirituality and themselves as something embedded in a greater context which is to them more important than individuation or the spiritual experiences.
Perhaps this can give you some interesting views on your questions.

As for dmt... well, it is (along with the other psychedelics which I hold in the highest esteem) a great road to walk. I don't want to emphasise the experience itself, though it's magical and can give you very much - I find it more important to realize that psychedelics are like spiritual paths or the development of a philosophical theory. One can have peak experiences with them, but the real power I find is in the continuous reflecting and transforming of consciousness by way of integration of these experiences. This can mean taking it once, or taking it many times; it really depends on whether the developmental process that you are in can use this impulse or not. It's something I have to ask myself every time I'm about to take psychedelics.

That's all for now
cheers & love
Enoon