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I dont wanna come back down from this cloud... its takin me all this time to find out what i need,ya Options
 
secretpsydeofother
#1 Posted : 2/10/2011 10:30:52 AM
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Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
Fuck.
.nO

But yeaa wish it away all ya want.. the universe will still flaunt.

all to realize aint no runnin away cant turn it around nor lay on the ground

get away from me you say well they never do listen do they so in darkness as the walls are closing in again i open my soulbodymind to let light in but that openness envelopes me and develops me into an open window into my soul and what deep within do glow they see it cant help themselves but see it and they wonder if only a short while then it ensues they fuck with me for no good reason but only if i dont seem them reasons are there for us to understand even if we dont its who i am yet knowing all this only helps at times when others all the pain reminds of the sweet warm bliss the calmest of calm that i forget all the bad just want the damn shit so much that i start to sniff an twitch an tick an shake an need another cigarette an can not wait all this makes sense in my own head i am not using downers but at times i do lose the power to resist but yet i still dont because i know i know that it wont really improve the life that i want will only undo all i have brought to the table for all to partake in our own future of which we make



all that said to be brutally honest everything iv been going through and all the critcism/hurt/pain/blame game i deal with and being alone in it.... i feel like breaking down "sad" doesnt even describe the emotion the emotion is indescribable when it creeps in it poisons my mind recalling times of raw afghan nose drip so bitter yet i relished it for what it was the pain soon passed till the numb didnt last yea thats why i say fuck all that because only a little an its never enough... thing about comfort is the more ya need it the more it isnt there sure its nice to have it but you dont have to and to be honest friends thats how i havent used opiates since 11/2009 sure i relapsed more then a few times on alcohol but yea theres always reasons people relapse people happened to do really fucked up things to me and when you feel like killin yourself in an indescribably inescapable situation yea i guess i was weak and fell hard on old ways lookin for comfort in a bottle tis a common ole tale but what of it all you say? well i guess only i know what i mean to say but the choice is yours of what it means to rely intention is pure on my end just typin it out whats in my head felt like relapsin again just as overwhelmed as can be in the constant change attacking me but i wont let it get to me not fully because iv been there and my life is now better.. truly



down with dope up with hope
 

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secretpsydeofother
#2 Posted : 2/10/2011 10:40:10 AM
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Posts: 22
Joined: 08-Feb-2011
Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
gimmie a double of ole 'make-it-go-away'



oh no the trouble is it dont work that way



the torment is here to say sure ya can numb yourself out of it all but then you will fall down into darkness right where they want you thats why its all around to taunt you to make you give up well you feel youv had enough i give and they take it all away then they want more and dont listen to what i say its enough to drive one mad the seeming futility of the plight i lose the power with the ones that make me fight for fair use not even control i only want what i may hold just enough is all i need i dont seek to let it bleed oh well i guess if my ways better then the rest no wonder their cynical their in the wrong couldnt hear the singer throughout the whole damn song
 
DoctorMantus
#3 Posted : 2/10/2011 11:19:31 AM

Hyperspace Architect/Doctor


Posts: 1242
Joined: 11-Jul-2010
Last visit: 08-Dec-2012
Location: On this plane
Punctuation
it might make the read a little easier.

I can see your are down i send you good vibes. I can guarantee there are a lot of people that have been were you are, i lost a close friend to drugs, some opiates i was there, i fell in love with this girl, seeing her depression made me only wanna heal her, bc of what she had been through, after hanging out with her three days in row the third day her mother had ask me to stay with her as she left, the night went well created some art and the next day she had skipped school was left home alone and i dont wanna get into details i am sure you can put it together. Depression is serious and Drugs and depression is really serious that is the path you never wanna go down it sucks.
"You are an explorer, and you represent our species, and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness."
โ€” Terence McKenna

"They Say It helps when you close yours eyes cowboy"
 
secretpsydeofother
#4 Posted : 2/10/2011 11:30:50 AM
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Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
wow dude really...
 
secretpsydeofother
#5 Posted : 2/10/2011 11:31:44 AM
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Joined: 08-Feb-2011
Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
let go of limitations

no matter what you are still yourself

better make yourself if only for better health

that is what they said and they said it right

for if we let them make us we will lose the fight

for the mind for the self we are each other by way of inception

its all our perception if we dont realize they control what we think is normal

then all we ever may be is formal
 
secretpsydeofother
#6 Posted : 2/10/2011 11:32:52 AM
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Posts: 22
Joined: 08-Feb-2011
Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
tell me WHY i should change how i write to make it easy
i write it the way i write it for a reason and thats that i like it that way
sorry its hard for you to read.. i didnt say ya had to
 
secretpsydeofother
#7 Posted : 2/10/2011 11:33:58 AM
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Posts: 22
Joined: 08-Feb-2011
Last visit: 07-Mar-2011
Location: washington dc
where ever i go our rhymes i will know

an shall not cast them out because if not with them i am without

the words are sometimes all i know and i give it to you because of what to me it does show the untold divinity considering truth within lies when they play the victim its ourselves that we find and they play on our protection instinct as we neednt want them to feel distant well it figures its all the same runnin into one its about all there is when the futures without their kiss i suppose theirs another not as damaged as would be discharged from the one coming undone in the zero from now on i put the one before hand because i cant afford them that do not scour our truth is not as narrow minded with the power that may find us and its all up to us i mean to say for now you quim there is no way well it just goes to show the answer remains in the things you wish not to know
 
 
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