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First pause in this life! Options
 
Curiouskid
#1 Posted : 11/10/2010 9:08:27 AM

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Last visit: 31-Aug-2017
A few month ago SWIM participated in an Ayahuasca ceremony and he thought he could share this amazing experience here because he didn't get to talk too much about it as that's not the main topic in this mundane world.

"Evening of August 2nd, he arrived anxious about the experience, it is about 8pm. After a few chats, checkings in and protocoles, they are all sitting in this relaxing room sharing their intentions for the night; SWIM's out of a trembling voice is: "... after years of destructive patterns I found this healing path and in the process I would like to reconnect with my heart to go forward..."

And the drinking starts, when the cup is given to him he doesn't want to wait as he heard Ayahuasca is awfully bitter... In one go he actually discover a sweetness quite pleasurable and a familiar taste.
Back on his cushion the usual pattern of the mind starts to pull him in a state of doubts and fears especially when he hears the guide going out, he chooses to trust and experience what She wants to show him.

Within what he suspects to be half an hour he is taken by surprise where everything known collapses. he feels lost and at first he compares it to a LSD trip as a kind of kaleidoscopic vision arises and... the brightest colors appears from the darkness or mixe together or maybe that's beyound colors and visions because he can close his eyes and there is no differences, he sees with something else than his physical eyes. he finds himself, maybe his consciousness, in a place where he doesn't know anymore where, when, who he is, he is only witnessing this spectacular beauty.
His mind or what is left of it try to analyse or explain but words are no more, there is no sense no sanity. he can feel some concept like time, work, body, mind, Ayahuasca ceremonie, everyday life but there are out of reach, absurd, useless where everything is so in tune and balance like here! he laughs, moanes, and the sound of his voice is interacting with everything, or out of all this stuff is coming an information, a command on his laughing, that's really pleasurable. All is vibration and seems to be one melodie, one frequency, one pattern; this huge landscape is made of the same substance, essence: everything collapse on itself and creates at the same time, with the same energy the action of eating becomes vomiting and eating... with this particular sound, it is like something bubbling or disolving into acid or even an effervescent medecine but more melodic.
All monitoring per vibration, evrything is vibrational and exstatic, he can feel waves of pleasure, he feels so blessed and safe, he cries and laughs at the same time. His voice, or what he assumes is, creates and is created at ones and enrolls him in this safe place.

And people around start to purge, vomit with sounds right from another worlds, from another species, he feels at first scared and agressed from this pain and sound of helplessness but at the same time he feels compassionate and try to send them love and wish them to feel better, to come with him.
The guide as he recognises him, starts to sing Icaros and it takes SWIM deeper in this fantastic dimension, he is surrouded by waterfall-like of vibrational substance, hills and mountains, everything holding itself and moving like a snake, like a fluid.
Sounds are coming toward him, he feels they are words, he has to reconsider the concept of words, he can't understand them as the dictionnary of his mind is shut, it sounds familiar but absurd... he knows this sound but what is it? His name! he has got a name and somebody is calling him, fragments of his being are coming back to him, his daily life, his link with people, mind patterns, feelings, Ayahuasca ceremony, room, body... movement! he has to move, something is wrong? He gets back his motion knowledges and crawl toward the red light coming toward him which let him see the familiar form of the room but made of this living substance, the two concepts are superposed on each other; the only thing he can think of to compare is a "Matrix vision" but more colorfull and vivid, all is linked, there is no void!
He fights to take over his "body" and moves toward this red light, he has to reconsider the simple act of crawling and understanding language. He does his best and assume he has to stay sit down where he is while the guide sings, blow and do his work on him. He feels his hands dancing, see colorfull visions, it's like he is in a far away country as thoughts of jungle arise in him. The guide asks him to join his hands and take them in his, this sensation is so delightfull, sensing their hands melting on another one mixed with his blowing give him a rare pleasure, a feeling to be home.
SWIM is sent back to his couch but have lost again the track of time, space and events... He finally finds it after a struggle to reassemble his casual cognitive system. He is so high, so out of space!

More Icaros are sung and most of the time SWIM feels like he sings them himself, like he has got the ability to create them by will, and at the same time they create him and his will, they are the structure of the whole, the guidance... Everything is so linked...
More purge for people around, he moves and found the best position ever, again...

Touching his hair or skin is delightfull, yorning or even breathing too. When he touches his skin or hair he feels like ripples are created on his wavy body; is that the sensory system affected or he can feel on another level of vibrational frequency?
He recognise a friend's voice singing and he can feel so much love emanating from her, from his heart. He send her love ...

After a while he comes down and the vivid visions weakened, he still can see this structural substance though which seems to form everything, to be everything, but only when some light comes up from a candle or a torch.
A while of dreaming and ecstasy later he is thinking more and more and people aroud him are still sick and really high, so he decides to move and to give a go for outside. His balance as expected is weak, he feels like during one of his biggest mushroom trip, kaleidoscopic visions from the corner of the eyes and light sublimed.

His friend asks him how he feels, despite his efforts he must be ununderstandable, they'll talk in the morning. The sky is fantastic, only a few stars but a light comes down torning the sky apart which gives an alien atmosphere to the scene... He is at peace and so quiet; on his way inside he exchanges a few words with O.... who seems so in fear and pain.
He is back on his cushion and feel so alone as a lot of people are still high; he feels so ridiculous as jalousy arises in him, should he ask for more? He is quite tired now, He is going to sleep. He feels so desapointed to be again the "thinking" SWIM and be cut of this source of bliss.

Awaken by the candles, very brutal for him! The guide resumes the night, he sounds exhausted, some people share their experience, SWIM would like to in a way but he is too out of words and expression. His friend giggles, he is back to sleep.

In the morning he is very tired and very sharp at the same time, the first thought: was all of that only a dream, the all time? It takes him a while to reassemble everything from the night, details, feelings and understandings. No it was not a dream, he doesn't know what it was but for sure it was not a dream, he experienced something out of his explaination. Of course his mind try to rationalise or find an explanation, but he knows that's out of reach.
He feels he is not finished, that was only a small insight, he is not done with Mamasita AYAHUASCA. She has been very gentle with him for his first time, he doesn't take it for ganted but is so gratefull for that. He doesn't know if that means She likes him...AHAH AHAH AH!!!....(egoistic joke...) but he loves her.
See you soon Mama and thank you for this blissfull insight."

Thank you guys for reading if you went through till here, sorry if it's a bit long and not so clear. That's about it for now!Very happy
None of this is really happening, SWIM's mind is so sick and bored than it has to invent all sorts of "abracadabrantesques" stories...
 

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EquaL Observer
#2 Posted : 11/10/2010 3:11:54 PM

Ross


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Last visit: 16-Oct-2012
Location: Scotland
Sounds lovely. I'm still to have a group experience with Ayahuasca. Your indeed lucky that you had such a gentle first touch, she tends to pick up right where she left off so good luck with future experiences, I hope to hear from you soon.
Your depth is your integrity
 
Lavos
#3 Posted : 11/10/2010 5:32:08 PM

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Last visit: 07-Oct-2017
Location: Acedian sea
Sounds like you journeyed well friend. Not at all too long and you paint a very clear picture for me. Sounds like you went into it strong and came out stronger. Your perception seems pretty spot on here

Quote:
everything collapse on itself and creates at the same time, with the same energy the action of eating becomes vomiting and eating...


The snake eating itself is a graceful image representing this. The snake eating you maybe not so graceful. But wait, the snake didn't eat you, not yet right, lol. I'm just messing with you, but really, have you ever imagined being devoured? It's almost as bad as everyday reality. Until they mix up, loop, and don't stop. But I watched Inception and in my next dream was taught how to give into the loop.

Anyway, not to dethread you, the title reminded me of an experience or two. Time comes to a halt, or seems to vanish here and there, just another perception. Hope it's the first of more.
My ego is insane, but I'm alright

The path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. -William Blake

Lavos is a fictional character, a dream inside a dream. Don't take what he says to be true or representational of reality in any known form. He is inspired by pure fantasy.
 
Poekus
#4 Posted : 11/10/2010 6:49:32 PM
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Nice report. You describe your experience in such way that it would probably very recognizable to other people here. Weren't you anxious to join a session with strangers, or did you already meet the other people ?
 
Curiouskid
#5 Posted : 11/11/2010 6:31:32 AM

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Last visit: 31-Aug-2017
No Lavos the snake gave SWIM a break for now but he knows his luck and someday he might get hit stronger for a nice lesson, back to earth... Could you be more explicit about these loops?

Poekus, SWIM knew only one person who was in charge but it was fine as they seemed all nice. The most important might be the guide for the transmission of the Icaros otherwise that's only you and Her, the others in the room don't matter as long as the trip last.

Thank you guys, see you somewhere
None of this is really happening, SWIM's mind is so sick and bored than it has to invent all sorts of "abracadabrantesques" stories...
 
Lavos
#6 Posted : 11/12/2010 9:31:41 PM

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Location: Acedian sea
Ok, curiouskid, I might not explain it best, but I will try my best. For me, it's the psychic equal to the sensation experienced on a roller coaster sometimes, when a kid lets their head drop, and no matter how hard they try cannot pull it back up. Not everyone does this, I know, but I remember it happening to me when I was young, and it's like it's happening to your consciousness instead of your head.

That's kinda how it feels. It can be horrifying, because you see no way through, no escape, and it's not just your head but your new reality. And it's often a very short, very quickly repeating thought or scene. So in a few seconds it can feel like you have done the same thing 1000 times or more. There are some good threads around here and there about these loops. I was unaware of it until I journeyed with salvia.

In my dream loop, I was waking from one dream, into a beach scene, but literally every time I woke up, I'd be waking up again. It's just plain intense, like trying to fight your way out of an impossible situation. Very quickly (7-10x into it) I knew what was happening, and gave in to the loop. How, specifically, one gives in, I cannot say, but you don't fight or flee from it, you allow yourself to fall for it. As soon as I did, I fell back into another dream, of beautiful lines etc etc.

My salvia loop was trying to show me my own death, and when I finally gave in to seeing THAT (had no choice, trying to figure out who/where I was, lol), it was a loop to wake me in an 'otherlife', that I wouldn't give into, refused it and kept my eyes shut, afraid of my whole life being a mere dream. But events kept repeating, I was afraid, and running, hiding. Read about it some, and if it hits you, let it take you, all the way.

My ego is insane, but I'm alright

The path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. -William Blake

Lavos is a fictional character, a dream inside a dream. Don't take what he says to be true or representational of reality in any known form. He is inspired by pure fantasy.
 
Curiouskid
#7 Posted : 11/13/2010 5:06:41 AM

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Wahoo sounds heavily psycho man, if SWIM understands right you have to surrender and learn the lesson beint taught during these loops?...

SWIM had a short introduction with Salvia but didn't dose enough though (about a 12th of 12X), too impressed by all you can read about it even if possibly most of the time that's because of a wrong setting or state of mind.
That's so hard to explain what happend but he had a "loop" sensation, like he was a part of a film tape going round and round and the focus was on his mouth and throat (probably because he smoked...). He was certain it was kind of a game and even more certain that he understood it at some point but then he saw a part of a dark landscape coming into sight just before he lost everything and came back to "normal" and realised that he had no clue about anything that happend!!!
Puzzled he sat down and tried to think straight eyes closed but a kind of green stain (or face?...) in his mind was "inviting" him probably to smoke a bit more, so he did but the same dose which gave him the same kind of experience...Mistake!!

He will try again this interesting medecine later on at bigger dose and maybe different setting or even quidding as he read that's kinder but deeper.

Thanks Lavos for this infos SWIM's going to have a look at this "loop" topic right now, take care friend.
None of this is really happening, SWIM's mind is so sick and bored than it has to invent all sorts of "abracadabrantesques" stories...
 
 
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