Hello,

I have been lurking for a while. Mainly because I am new to a lot of the subjects here, but also because I am a bit of an introvert. With the help I've found here, I've performed cactus extractions, and more recently a MHRB extraction. This site is a great place and I hope to be able to contribute something back in the future.

A bit of a background first. I am a little experienced with several psychedelics. I haven't fully explored any substance in particular, but I have used LSD, mushrooms, 2c-b/i, mescaline. I haven't experienced ego loss yet. My doses have mostly been exploratory, and have never really committed to going to the next stage.

Last night I had my first encounter with spice. I had extracted some white crystal, and made some electric sheep changa. It was mixed at approximately 1.5:1 leaf/spice. I was aiming to wade a bit into the experience and not accidentally break through or anything without having gained some familiarity.

So I loaded up my GVG with some of the leaf, got myself comfortable with a blanket and some pillows on the couch, turned on some soothing ambient music and projected a visualizer onto the wall in front of me. Lights were low, but still on enough so I could see what I was doing. I settled myself, and calmed my nerves enough so that I felt secure that it would be an entirely positive experience.

I held up the GVG and applied the lighter slightly. I exhaled and then started to draw very slowly. For the first couple of seconds I could feel or taste nothing. I kept drawing slowly and continuously for about 10-15 seconds. The taste did come, but it was mild and wasn't bad at all. I had read that straight spice has a funky taste, but I could see myself getting to like this taste with more experience. After my lungs were as full as I felt that I wanted, I stopped and held for as long as I could. At first, there was nothing. I sat there with the vapor in my lungs and feeling a little confused about whether I would feel anything. There was no discomfort and I could hardly tell that I had inhaled anything. It was so smooth that I wondered if I had gotten a sufficient amount, but as I exhaled slowly I noticed a vapor almost as thick as smoke leave my mouth. I didn't get through the exhale however before the spice train blasted through my brain.

My mouth went slack. I was in shock at how it hit with the force of a thunderbolt. My reality melted. Every pattern in the room swirled and shifted. I had never experienced such a complete breakdown of order into chaos. What really drew my attention though was the projected visualizations on the wall. It locked my eyes and I couldn't turn away. I have never felt such awe. There was something in there calling me. Not by name, but as though a magnetic force was pulling my brain. Separate from the visuals were the auditory effects. The mechanical sound of the projector was amplified 10 fold. It was so loud. I felt it was trying to distract and annoy me. It wasn't right that this thing was here. It was an intrusion.

While this was happening, there was still a compartment of my mind that was a little lucid. I observed this all happening, and reminded myself that it was ok and not to fight. I told myself that it was short-acting and that everything was fine, while a more primal fear told me that this was just the tip of the iceberg and this substance was too powerful. As I went through this thought process, I was distracted away from the sensory hallucinations. I tried to study the physical effect, and realized at the same time that my mouth was moving independently and saying something in slow motion: "Holy f@#$!". Then I lost focus and was drawn into the visualizer again. This time less dramatically, so I knew that I was on the return trip.

Then, almost as suddenly as it hit, it left. I was still experiencing some minor visuals, but I had my motor control back and was fully lucid. The whole trip seemed to definitely last less than 5 minutes. I never lost awareness of myself or where I was. From what I've read, this certainly wasn't break though, nor likely even close, but it floored me.

In reflection, this seemed to have worked quite well. At first I felt that the distractions I had set up were too much and perhaps a mistake. The music, the projected visualizer, the lighting, the sounds. But I am starting to feel that perhaps it was good. It kept me somewhat grounded and aware of the setting. It allowed me to taste the power of the spice and yet keep one foot in this realm. For a first time, for me, this was good. Next time I won't be as surprised by the shock, and can allow it to take me to the next stage. My initial reaction was that I didn't want to touch this again. Now, a day later, I feel that is exactly why I should. I need to explore another realm. My head is too grounded in "reality".

Welcome and congratulations. This is indeed the tip of the iceberg. I hope you decide to stick with it for now, go a little bit deeper and really taste its magic.

My tip for you would be that this is an experience which requires no external stimuli whatsoever - in fact, while focusing on real world stimuli such as music or a visualizer can be unbelievably intense, it's just not where the real show takes place; and for that, all you have to do is look within yourself. Try darkness, silence and closed eyes throughout - it's a very different experience - and as you work your way up to the break through dose, you'll begin to see what a self-contained world this truly is.

Lately, rather than music (or silence), I have preferred to go to a steady auditory tone on headphones (kinda like this):

http://goldring.wetpaint...ror+369+Hz+Inner+Harmony

Antrocles hipped me to it - and let me tell you, it will give you something solid to hang onto without anchoring or distracting you in any way. It's very comforting - and in the event you panic, focusing on the tone is very helpful.

Yes, I'll definitely be reducing the distractions next time. I did find however that the music fit well with the experience. The visualizer and machine sounds were distracting, but the music felt right for that particular trip. I was listening to Steve Roach, which was very easy and possibly enhanced the mystical quality of it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPy8AZ5ryyI

Yup, that music is pretty appropriate. I always try to avoid anything with a beat or lyrics in English - as anything that provides a frame of reference will only hold me back. Music will always color and steer your experiences (sometimes in a very good way and sometimes in a bad one - CD skips, anyone???), but in silence you'll find that the carrier wave makes a music all its own.

Regardless, though - do try closing your eyes. It's the only way to go deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I completely agree. With only 4 or 5 attempts under my belt, I remember the first one was with my eyes open, and very much like you describe. I don't know how far I would have gone had my eyes been closed, but closing the eyes is indeed the way to go, at least at first. The thing with this is that it takes you to (or brings to you?) a different 'plane of existence'. When the eyes are open, both realities overlap in weird and interesting ways, and though I bet one can get a lot out of that, the experience is very different and even more DMT-specific when one just lets go and shifts into the other world.

On the subject of music or tone, I'll certainly try it eventually, but personally I have found that focusing on one's breath is quite effective also. It reminds me that I am indeed alive and well, and that I still have control over my vital functions. It also has the advantage of being in line with thousands of years of human meditation and yoga, and it's all you, no technology required.