I'm not entirely sure where to begin with all this, so I'll start out by explaining that it will be rambley as I only have a shortish amount of time to write and edit. It's a tall claim to say I am Boddhisatva, remaining here on the physical plane, divided into opposites, doing the duality thing in order to help others in their lives to achieve unity. That I cannot assert fully as there is definitely room for doubt even here within my own mind, not to mention it's easy to judge others to be lower than you perceive them to be simply because the ego has difficulty accepting its own need for change and it's therefore difficult to accept that someone might have your interests placed above their own. Where's the catch? When do I have to give you my money...ad nauseum.
My personal history.....well, I have always been a chemistry geek, and then when I applied that knowledge and began exploring brain chemistry through bioassay, researching the findings of other chemists and neurologists, I began to very personally feel the connections between matter and spirit, and every day my awareness of these connections seems to grow (am I delusional or more aware? intuition tells me the good thing, genetic family members tell me the bad thing, I side with the notion that I am on the right path). I have a SWIM who performed an alkaloid extraction from the mimosa plant and upon entering "hyperspace" made a pact with the "thorn-tree-king", a male spirit associated with mimosa who apparently doesn't visit people very commonly, as most people I've talked to swear up and down that mimosa is a female entity. Some of this sounds like bullshit, and it is for ye of little faith to believe as such. While terrified by the sharpness of the experiences, a gentle female voice kept calling "not-me" to the jar with the extract and bringing NM to different places each time, showing NM some of the possibilities ahead of NM on NM's path.
A couple years later, NM had not-my first experience with syrian rue and mimosa, and travelled to the heart (the physical organ in my body) where there lived a great darkness which NM was unable to avoid or dissociate from and therefore had to heal and work through. The spirit of the mimosa, the thorntree king, (is king a dumb name? because that's what he called himself and "someone" feels silly saying it sometimes)showed the dude the path ahead of me as a healer. A certain someone's duty since then has been to do ceremonies with people at no charge (except to NM, because NM has to pay for the raw materials).
There have been short extreme moments of triumph in my spiritual development, finally opening up to universal love and accepting my home in the condensed cosmos (the unified moment which is always happening) once I was able to forgive my close family member who committed suicide many years ago - and he appeared to me while not in hyperspace just to let me know that the only barrier preventing this constant flood of love in my tiny little life was the hatred I was holding in my heart toward him, and that he wouldn't visit me all these years (leading to much un-faith) because I hadn't forgiven him yet. Now that I know he is a part of the spirit world I go and visit, I can fully reconcile the extraordinary differences in my experience and in my idealist heart, thereby no longer feeling that I may be delusional from time to time. It also helps that I have a life partner of the opposite sex (just had to put that due to the connotations of the phrase life-partner) who is on the healing path with me and she truly helps me to maintain the balance and keep helping others.
Incidentally, recently there has been this urge to put my hands on people's injuries. I took the universe up on this feeling I had that I could direct healing energy using my hands, tried it out on a friend who had recently damaged his arm and the next day his swelling was gone and his arm was drastically more functional, the likes of which I have only ever seen on the tail-end of an ayahuasca ceremony. This is very encouraging to me and my time is running out for this internet usage. If granted membership I can help to shed light on various issues, ranging from molecular chemistry, extraction methods, other healing plants, hyperspace experience interpretation, generally aiming toward love and light where people who may not be able to get it in person may be able to get it through reading people's posts...et cetera. Also...I play musical instruments and write music and record it and it sounds good to me and other people too, so that's something about me. Umm....end of essay?