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Dark entities and the wound mirror ! Options
 
Mr°Joie
#1 Posted : 1/26/2024 7:17:35 PM
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Posts: 6
Joined: 16-Jan-2021
Last visit: 25-Jun-2024
Location: France

*



Hi everybody !




So let's put it all together. It's gonna be an exercice for me since English is not my first language and i'm not entirely confident about not waking Shakespeare up Razz. I will do my best though Smile

I discovered Dmt almost 10 years ago with changa, had two small trip in a row; i reported them in another topic (long time ago), if you wanna check.


Four years ago i had the chance to put my hand on 50/50 Changa mix; no maoi was added to it but the maoi contained in the caapi leaves which were the main carrier.
It should be noted that in between my first try 10 years ago, and the rediscovering, or i could even say discovering, 4 years ago, the gap was empty of any psychedelic substance.

At that time in a place, mid France, where i was working as a season worker for an hotel, near a lake, surrounded by small mountains. I was living with few other people in an nice house with a green garden where we were able to grow veggies Very happy

It's was a summer sunny day, i was off, the sky was blue and i had my hand on that newly acquired Changa.
I decided it was the day to give it a try:

I settled a long chair in the garden, laid there, surrounded by the green and the blue.
It was a joint, 100mg. i started to smoke, slowly, taking care to keep every puff for sometimes in my lungs..
The come up was slow, but at the end of the joint i was in, suddenly transported from the outside colors to the inside ones, which were reflecting the idea of the sunny day. Fractals were moving at the rythm of the music i put in my ears and started to clump all together. I can't see it anymore, there is an entity though, made of fractals, it's near and.. it's giant, and it's not a visual, it's a feeling. Suddenly, i understand, in an instant "you're not allowed here yet". No words, again, just a feeling.
Brutal end of the trip. At that very moment i'm feeling a little disappointed.
Is that it ?
Little i knew what was to come the next few years with this molecule Razz



So ! Having Being gatekeeped by a giant entity, two weeks later i decided to do it right, or what i thought was right, and i went to do wouhouu stuff in the forest haha !
Spend my morning singing mantras to ease my self, sending prayers and so on.
I went into the lake to wash myself, hoping the bath to make me pious.
I went into the forest, found a pine cone, settled it on a small stump with incense sticks and a small drawing of an Hindu God.
I sat near my altar and started to smoke. As soon as the effect started i knew something was wrong.
Far above at the top of the trees, rushing toward me were thousand dark entities whose hit me and pushed me to fall backwards, pushing again, and again seing myself sinking into the leaves, into the ground, under the ground, with roots, and rotten life.
They were coming to my face to scare me.
My instinct grabbed me to pray, and the entities said, "no you're prayers are of no use here, we told you, you're not ready"
And : sudden flash! Me, and some unresolved darkness..
"deal with it, and come back"
I opened my eyes, quickly grabbed my stuff and left in hurry and chocked.
I spent the day in that state, chocked and sadden by this instant realization about myself.
There's a wound, and it's big, and deep down, if you keep avoiding it you keep hurting it and worsening it.


A wound when seen is bathed by your own presence.
There were nothing to do about it but love, and forgive.
There was nothing to do about it but to see, and to remember... Love and forgiveness.


Writing it now feels like it is an ever ongoing process were you never stop to learn about deepening love, and forgiveness. Falling back and being remembered, falling back and being remembered......
It took me some times to gather the courage to do it again, maybe one or two months; dont remember.
One day many things appeared to align in a way that made sense to me, and i knew it was the right day.
So before bed, no wouhouh... Just me and the dark and the newly acquired pipe... 100mg as usual... Almost no visual, but from far, the same scary entities as the second time in the forest, looked at me and went :"WELCOME HERE ! we send you back the love you gave to yourself"
I felt so joyous, being loved, and held.


There, the gate was open Smile

*


 

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Pandora
#2 Posted : 1/27/2024 9:32:23 AM

Got Naloxone?

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Posts: 3240
Joined: 03-Aug-2009
Last visit: 06-Jul-2024
Location: United Police States of America
Mr°Joie,

I enjoyed this report. Thank you very much.

Wow you have been here a long time. Your lack of promotion is probably due to lack of posting.

These experiences are fascinating. Bravo to you for being willing to continue the work even after a couple dark and difficult experiences.

I recognize that you worked on some self-healing but I also wonder if a refinement in smoalking device or technique might help.

100 mgs is a LOT of DMT to consume in one go. DMT tolerance sets up lightning fast. We need to get the dose into ourselves in about 30 seconds, other wise we wind up wasting DMT.

Regardless of the details, these were impressive and profound experiences and I'm glad you chose to report them.

I upvoted you and clearly I was not the only one. That did it. Congratulations on your promotion.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


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Mr°Joie
#3 Posted : 1/27/2024 7:50:01 PM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 6
Joined: 16-Jan-2021
Last visit: 25-Jun-2024
Location: France
Pandora wrote:
Mr°Joie,

I enjoyed this report. Thank you very much.

Wow you have been here a long time. Your lack of promotion is probably due to lack of posting.

These experiences are fascinating. Bravo to you for being willing to continue the work even after a couple dark and difficult experiences.

I recognize that you worked on some self-healing but I also wonder if a refinement in smoalking device or technique might help.

100 mgs is a LOT of DMT to consume in one go. DMT tolerance sets up lightning fast. We need to get the dose into ourselves in about 30 seconds, other wise we wind up wasting DMT.

Regardless of the details, these were impressive and profound experiences and I'm glad you chose to report them.

I upvoted you and clearly I was not the only one. That did it. Congratulations on your promotion.



You're welcome Pandora, happy you enjoyed the read Smile
I have watched the forum quiet a lot since the journey started, i've found in the nexus so many ressources, and i've read and enjoyed so many TR here, i thought that maybe i could add one of mine hehe !

About the smoking methode, yes ! It's was far from perfect back then. The changa mix was 50/50 so it was about 50mg of dmt the two times; everything smoked in a small joint with minimal tobacco. Although it was small i had to smoke to many puff on it for it to be fully efficient.
My technic has greatly evolved ever since, i had played around with a GVG and sub-ohm mostly.
Mostly sub-ohm these days over the GVG. When i go there i like to be able do it a multiple times in a row and, that the most convenient and easy going way i've found for now Smile



 
Mr°Joie
#4 Posted : 1/29/2024 11:46:13 AM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 6
Joined: 16-Jan-2021
Last visit: 25-Jun-2024
Location: France
Pandora wrote:
DMT tolerance sets up lightning fast. We need to get the dose into ourselves in about 30 seconds, other wise we wind up wasting DMT.
promotion.


In regard to tolerance it's seems that for me it's not building up that strong, possibly even going down..
I can Fly with the sub-ohm for an hour, just going in and puffing on it when i feel the need.
I have not tried with an MAOI yet (twice actually but dont consider i really did it), it may give me a chance to puff less on my device..

I was thinking about it the last few days, for sure i cant quantify the amount of spice i take with every puff and i may take longer ones while in the space.
The last couple of months i feel a bit scared to go in the dmt world, and the few times i wznt there were like that : 1 big puff, up -> peak -> down. Waiting a couple minutes while baseline and doing it again 3/4 times. Everytime feels stronger.

When i was using the GVG i used to deep my toes in the same way.. 10 to 15mg as an opener and then 20 to 25mg a few minutes later.. I wonder if the second dose was diminished in effects.
I always considered that my tolerence was not really impacted but the only way to now would be to use the same amount of plain spice before and after, with just few minutes in between the trip.

When i used to play around with changa, it happened that i took two tickets on after the other with the exact same mg per trip. Although the changa was mixed with Caapi leaves which could have been at play to explain the difference in intensity between 1st and 2nd voyage (2nùd was always stronger); since the maoi in it may have been helping a kind of stacking of the dmt effects.

How is it for you guys ? Do you feel the tolerence affects your trips in a way that a second in a row after the 1st would not be possible ? or at least diminish the intensity of the experience ?
 
 
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