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El-Duderino
#1 Posted : 1/23/2024 6:56:06 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 3
Joined: 05-Jan-2024
Last visit: 12-Feb-2024
Greetings Funky Brothers & Sisters! I have been using the DMT-Nexus for 10-years or so, and I finally got an opportunity to register for an account, so here I am!

I have been using psychedelics for the last 14-years. Mushrooms, smoked DMT freebase, LSD, and pharmahuasca. I do my research, I use as directed, I don’t abuse them, and I have had numerous life changing experiences with these substances.

One day after work in January of 2019, I started hearing voices in my head, which I realized to be a schizophrenic break. I didn’t want to take any medication, and I felt okay other than the auditory and slight visual hallucinations, so I decided to keep my mouth shut about it. I’ve spent the last 5-years watching and listening to tiny people in my mind, and documenting my experience. It’s tough work, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Anyways, thank you DMT-Nexus for being one of the most fantastically useful and awesome resources on the internet. Love you all!

-The Dude
 

STS is a community for people interested in growing, preserving and researching botanical species, particularly those with remarkable therapeutic and/or psychoactive properties.
 
PsyDuckmonkey
#2 Posted : 1/23/2024 6:34:49 PM

witch


Posts: 487
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Last visit: 06-Feb-2024
Location: the neon forest
Welcome to the nexus, and take care of your mind. You kinda need it to exist in consensus reality. Peace. Big grin
Do you believe in the THIRD SUMMER OF LOVE?
 
jungleheart
#3 Posted : 1/23/2024 6:38:46 PM

DMT-Nexus member

Senior Member

Posts: 371
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I had a schizophrenic break and went the meds route. The voices were evil and tormented me so I would rather be dulled. I'm working with doctors to get off the antipsychotics and just be on a mood stabilizer which has fewer side effects. Take care of yourself.
 
Pandora
#4 Posted : 1/24/2024 7:26:34 AM

Got Naloxone?

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Posts: 3240
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Last visit: 06-Jul-2024
Location: United Police States of America
El-Duderino,

Welcome to formal membership.

You have probably noticed that there are many others here attempting some sort of self healing in dealing with mental health issues. You are far from alone.

Impressive how you have just quietly managed and tracked your own symptoms. I would say if you can live with it, are functional and/or even happy, why bother with medication? Good to know if things do get unmanageable that medication is an option though . . . .

I wish you only the best in your journies and am very glad you signed up.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


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DexterMTripp
#5 Posted : 1/24/2024 11:15:34 AM

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Posts: 36
Joined: 01-Jan-2024
Last visit: 10-Feb-2024
Welcome El-Duderino

Do you document this online or just in a personal journal?
I think it would be an interesting read for people going through the same thing, and people like me who are not so that I can understand it from someone on the ground experiencing it.

When I hear someone mention "voices in their head", I don't find it that odd. I argue with myself about a lot of things, as I pace around the house. Just my way of processing things. When I read silently, it's usually my voice narrating, but occasionally it's a pirate voice or some other voice depending on context.

So, when other people say they hear voices, I don't know if I'm hearing the same thing, or if it's something else, and these aren't voices you are intentionally conjuring. It's an interesting topic.

I'm glad you're here. It's a very diverse crowd with open minds. Big grin
"You are what you seek" - Remi

Favorite trip tunes: Billie Eilish - No time to die | Hillsong United - Oceans | The Irrepressibles - In this shirt | Rhianne Music (YouTube Channel) - Somewhere only we know | Jessica Mazin - Never let me down again | Aquilo - Human | Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
 
El-Duderino
#6 Posted : 1/25/2024 1:50:33 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 3
Joined: 05-Jan-2024
Last visit: 12-Feb-2024
DexterMTripp wrote:
Welcome El-Duderino

Do you document this online or just in a personal journal?
I think it would be an interesting read for people going through the same thing, and people like me who are not so that I can understand it from someone on the ground experiencing it.

When I hear someone mention "voices in their head", I don't find it that odd. I argue with myself about a lot of things, as I pace around the house. Just my way of processing things. When I read silently, it's usually my voice narrating, but occasionally it's a pirate voice or some other voice depending on context.

So, when other people say they hear voices, I don't know if I'm hearing the same thing, or if it's something else, and these aren't voices you are intentionally conjuring. It's an interesting topic.

I'm glad you're here. It's a very diverse crowd with open minds. Big grin


I documented everything in a Google Doc, but I’m not ready to share the whole doc quite yet on here because my situation is a bit strange.

The voices in my head claim to be the FBI using a CIA system to drive me to suicide. I know that most people will tell me that I’m just crazy, and I also know that this actually could be the case, but I’m going to entertain the idea that I’m not until it becomes unreasonable to do so. Delusion or not, this is an interesting story.
 
DexterMTripp
#7 Posted : 1/26/2024 6:43:37 AM

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Joined: 01-Jan-2024
Last visit: 10-Feb-2024
El-Duderino wrote:

I documented everything in a Google Doc, but I’m not ready to share the whole doc quite yet on here because my situation is a bit strange.

The voices in my head claim to be the FBI using a CIA system to drive me to suicide. I know that most people will tell me that I’m just crazy, and I also know that this actually could be the case, but I’m going to entertain the idea that I’m not until it becomes unreasonable to do so. Delusion or not, this is an interesting story.


That is a dilemma. If you know it's a plot then their intentions have failed as the cover is blown so there is no point in continuing the effort, unless they don't know you know yet and the question then becomes how do you use this knowledge to your benefit?

It will be an interesting read if you decide to share it.
I do hope you find what you're looking for here.
"You are what you seek" - Remi

Favorite trip tunes: Billie Eilish - No time to die | Hillsong United - Oceans | The Irrepressibles - In this shirt | Rhianne Music (YouTube Channel) - Somewhere only we know | Jessica Mazin - Never let me down again | Aquilo - Human | Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
 
El-Duderino
#8 Posted : 1/26/2024 8:14:21 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 3
Joined: 05-Jan-2024
Last visit: 12-Feb-2024
DexterMTripp wrote:
El-Duderino wrote:

I documented everything in a Google Doc, but I’m not ready to share the whole doc quite yet on here because my situation is a bit strange.

The voices in my head claim to be the FBI using a CIA system to drive me to suicide. I know that most people will tell me that I’m just crazy, and I also know that this actually could be the case, but I’m going to entertain the idea that I’m not until it becomes unreasonable to do so. Delusion or not, this is an interesting story.


That is a dilemma. If you know it's a plot then their intentions have failed as the cover is blown so there is no point in continuing the effort, unless they don't know you know yet and the question then becomes how do you use this knowledge to your benefit?

It will be an interesting read if you decide to share it.
I do hope you find what you're looking for here.


I know what you mean, and that is a fair point. The FBI and CIA definitely know that I at least BELIEVE that they have done this to me. I know this because after reporting what happened, they immediately came to my home and had me forcefully committed to a psychiatric facility. Seems a bit excessive for simply reporting a potential crime, but hey what do I know?

Honestly Dexter, I’m just glad to have someone to share this with. Thank you.

-The Dude
 
MacElf_234
#9 Posted : 1/27/2024 12:18:39 AM
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Joined: 21-Nov-2023
Last visit: 10-Feb-2024
Location: Milky Way
As a “little Labowski “ fan, love the user name. As a cautious old fart, I’d say lay off the psychedelics…
If the voices don’t relent, try to find a Doc. you trust and get on some Pharma. They’ve come a long way in the last 20 years I think.
I’ve read two “real life” novels about this subject - “Eden Express” By Mark Vonnegut, MD. and “Operators and Things : The inner life of a schizophrenic “ By Barbara O’Brien

The situation you are dealing with sounds scary to me.

Best,
 
Falcata
#10 Posted : 1/27/2024 10:00:38 PM

Falca


Posts: 32
Joined: 17-Jan-2024
Last visit: 31-Jan-2024
Hi dude.

A few days ago I wanted to answer you, I wanted to write to you calmly. In the end I ended up writing this separate post, because I believe that the current psychiatric paradigm is broken and harmful.

If your voices are not a danger to you or others it should not be a problem, there are thousands of people like you, if you lived in the Maori culture for example, not only would you not be labeled or you would be frowned upon, they would bring you gifts from other villages. Hahahaha.

Here are a couple of links in case you don't know this association. Maybe getting in touch with them will solve many of your doubts or fears.

https://www.intervoiceonline.org/
https://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/

Nice to have you here.
"Nosce te ipsum"
 
 
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