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#1 Posted : 9/9/2023 12:27:41 AM

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The last decade+ have been a constant stream of mind-opening events.

Born a blank slate with all the tools of perception open and ready to populate the slate. I started doing my own things until I was ~6yrs old and ran into The System. It was made painfully clear that I just could not do whatever my open perception was interested of exploring and had to go to school.

If I have to guess my mind/perception was closed up pretty good around my 12th. The societal programming had done its work and had made me 'comfortably numb'.

The first jarring mind re-opening event, after 30yrs, was my first born. This event opened up a jar of perceptions that was tucked far, far away. It felt like my body was educating my mind on what is really important to life.

This, my second born, the financial and political shenanigans of the last couple of centuries (millennia?!) set of cascading events of re-examinations of all the programming of the past 40+ years. I have learned that Everything is a story. That the Past is not there and the Future does not exist. We have the Now, and only what we do in the Now is what shapes us as the Being that we currently are.

So I am here and I am going to "build my own damn wagon" this time.

I will use whatever my body feels important and cultivate whatever my body thinks is necessary to build my new wagon.

But, I'm not 20 anymore and therefore everything is going to be evaluated before I jump in, and for that I feel this forum has plenty to offer.

Hopefully I can eventually share and return some experiences of my own that could be useful for others.

All the best!

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
#2 Posted : 9/10/2023 4:46:07 AM

Got Naloxone?

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Welcome to the Nexus. I too am an old Floyd fan, Smile.

How did you come to this conclusion that everything is a story?

I would agree that the breaking moment of experience, the now is the most important thing to attend to and evaluate. I would also agree that it makes no sense to angst over a past we cannot change, though it is very important to learn from it. Related to that, anxiety over a future that one cannot truly predict makes no rational sense.

I got the implied sense that either you have not yet tried DMT or not yet extracted your own DMT. If so I imagine you will find this place to be a tremendous resource. Extraction TEKs can be found in the wiki above.

I appreciated your intro and hope to learn more. Again, welcome.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2

Hyperspace LOVES YOU
#3 Posted : 9/11/2023 7:57:22 PM

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Thanks for the welcome.

Everything is a story, because most of the information that is handed down to us comes from stories. Maybe everything was not the right word to use, since it includes, well, everything. I probably should have used something else.

What I mean is that most (99+%) of the explanations that have been communicated 'down' to us (the individual 'us' ) , is by other people and are typically based on other peoples' perceptions. To make matters worse is that most of other peoples' perceptions are based on some sort of information-source (media) and not on personal experiences. The rate of misunderstanding goes up an order of magnitude if I have to guess.


- first-hand experience, correct interpretation 10% (if you're lucky)
- second-hand (friend) experience, 1% correct
- third-hand (friend of friend) experience, 0.1% correct
- X-hand (reading/hearing from stranger), 0.01-0.001% correct
- media, ..... well..... I have lost all trust in the media.

I have learned this from observations of the world around me. When I had my first-born I was shocked at how little I knew/know about raising a child. And thus you start investigating, books, internet, etc etc. From there I learned that basically nobody knows how to "correctly" raise a child. And we have been doing this for how long? Many, many thousands of years. Combined by the fact that I had to "leave" my first-born at daycare in order to go to my job and I needed my job to pay for daycare.... It felt wrong on a very deep level. My body was practically screaming at me. Those were the first serious cracks in my comfortable numbness.

Add the political and financial shenanigans and all the peels of the societal onion came off one by one.

I agree that we should attempt to learn from our past mistakes. But it could also be that what we think was a mistake was just a mis-interpretation of our perception at that moment. In fact, when I look back on my own perceptive-being ten years ago I often find myself naive at that moment in the past. But I have also learned that ten years from now I'm going to look back on my now-being and find that I am naive right now. However I think that that will be a good sign, because that means that our perception keeps changing, as it should since this is part of the Flux of Life. It is this Flux of life that I'm seeking to investigate.

You are correct that I have not had induced DMT experiences. My only induced experiences are limited to cannabis, which only shifts the perception slightly. Most of my experiences are from life itself and the situations that come with it. Depending on your surroundings and state of mind they can be tremendously powerful. I have lived in several different countries and they all bring there own mind-opening experiences.

In the last couple of years I have been given many gentle bumps from Nature (Flux) around me. Some not so gentle, but that was because I was ignoring the signs. The wasp that stung me in my big toe, while walking though the grass with my head in the air, was less gentle. But necessary. The squirrel that leaves pine-cone pieces with very sharp points is a constant reminder. That same squirrel that keeps making attempts to drop half-eaten pine-cones on one of my cats, below the tree, is absolutely hilarious. The Flux is communicating and signs are everywhere, we just have to 'see' them.

My current project to explore the Flux is San Pedro. I have started the seeds and have a few cuttings that I am cultivating. But alas, they have to grow first, so it may take a bit before I can 'see' the fruits of my labor. I prefer to grow my own see-ers, since, in my current state of perception, this gives me the best relationship to the vehicle that could allow me to see. This way I hope to build my own wagon for the rest of the trip of my personal experience of the Life-Flux. Before I, myself, melt back into the Flux.

May the Flux be with you Big grin
#4 Posted : 9/12/2023 5:36:22 PM

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This was a beautiful introduction, rkba.

You seem to have a very interesting approach to life, treating it like a psychedelic experience in itself. Lots of veteran psychedelic users would agree with that, the central lesson of all these experiences might be that life is the real trip .

I also like your attitude about developing a relationship with your "own see-ers". San Pedro cacti are indeed very slow to grow, specially if you started them from seeds (I have a small collection of them, but they all started from cuts, so they were a few years old at least).

I don't think you're in a hurry to explore these substances (and that's amazing), but, given that you like to develop this kind of relationship, I would suggest taking a look into growing mushrooms if you want to explore "other ways to the Flux" while your cacti mature.

Anyways, welcome Wink
#5 Posted : 9/13/2023 6:13:52 PM

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Thanks pantostao.

It feels more like I'm slowly sliding back to where I started, when I came out of the Nexus. After I became 'comfortably numb', most of the doors were closed, but my body could always feel the 'sounds' on the 'other side'. To me it seems that certain events in the last decade+ have allowed some doors to be cracked open and are now allowing me to peek to the 'other side'.

I have starting to listen to my body and it feels like the Flux itself is inviting me. Little experiences are starting to having 'serious' effects.

A couple of years ago, on a walk in the park Big grin , I saw two butterflies. One was chasing the other, maybe 2-3 butterfly-lengths apart, and the chasing butterfly was in perfect sync with the leading butterfly. I stood still and observed in be-wonderment. Then it dawned on me that while the flight-path looks highly erratic and random to me, it was clear that the following butterfly had no problem syncing with the leading butterfly. I could feel a door cracking open a little further.

I like to drink tequila at the end of the day, which is one of my vices that knowingly needs to be controlled a little better. But a week or so ago, while sitting outside in the yard, I got a second refill of my glass. I set down the glass on the table and enjoyed the setting. As I went to take a sip I noticed that a fly had drowned in my tequila. Not wanting to consume the fly, I fished it out. But the seed was sown and a seedling had sprouted. Now every time I drink tequila I think of that fly, and how it applies to me, and what it told me. The Flux saying that I need to stop closing doors with alcohol? Most likely.

I'm indeed not in a hurry, but I also recognize that knowing is not experiencing and that ultimately only experiences count toward true knowledge. The brain needs to stop doing the leading and let the body lead. It is time to let the butterflies switch positions.

Yes, I am looking at the other 'see-ers' and am contemplating to start to grow them as well.

May the Flux be with you.
#6 Posted : 11/3/2023 3:18:47 PM

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It seems that some are reaching out themselves. 😁

Flux with Gusto!
rkba attached the following image(s):
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#7 Posted : 11/3/2023 3:27:45 PM

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add image, again.

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