The last DMT experience left me with a pleasant afteglow. It was all about letting go. Even the hyperspatial driver entities didn’t care that their road was changing. The value of letting it all go is difficult to estimate.
Regardless, today is something rare. I got all my work done in the first half of the day and Nemo is stable.
I’ve been feeling the need for a longer journey for awhile but had difficulty understanding when I could make it happen. Today I plan on taking 1.2 grams of mushrooms in the form of chocolates. Last trip was 900 mgs and it was surprisingly profound.
If I have the guts, clarity of vision, wherewithal I also have two bindles prepared with 10 mgs DMT doses.
Ate the chocolates at 2:02 p.m. 2:26 p.m. getting the beginning of an alert. Feeling happy, and that wonky feeling of transition beginning from the pit of my stomach to the top of my head. That weird, emptying out of the chest feeling, literally like a hole is being created to let the soul peak out.
Back at 2:45 pm. Full of random hallucinations in my head. Like watching my undisciplined imagination lisitening to the music kind of illustrating things randomly. Body feeling very distant/derealized. It is very pleasant but very physically sedating. I started thinking of picking up the GVG with the DMT 10 mgs dose. I considered vaping it while listening to Supersillyus music.
9 mins back and it was an intense comeup with my body feeling very loose and tingly. Not much to report in terms of memories. I did land in a place with weird 3D marquis and eitities that had a very sacred 3D feel but everything kept dissolving into the most amazing valleys of light show texturres.
Not much coherant coming out of this. I am used to more coherant narratives when I trip.
Later on I did recover some memories of being in a kind of pre-school hyperspace again. Floating through a space that had all ceilings, walls, floors covered in flashing individual letters or numbers.
3:21 p.m Been watching the fantasies behind closed eyes to the music. For awhile I found myself thinking of folks on the Nexus, in particular in the chat, and I could see all of us floating down the sea of life. Each was a different pastel shape and presented a different aspect, or sense of obstacle as we all moved through this river of life that was full of it’s own weird pastel shapes ready to change things depending on how well we could navigate, let go, change shape, etc. Sorry Magic Trip/DMT-Lexus, but your shape was ridiculous. It was the most odd, spiky piece of distorted geometry that kept creating and CATCHING obstacles to impede its’ smooth flow.
Going to drink some water and hit some harmalas.
3:32 p.m. watched a funny scifi fantasy of being aliens on a ship having to play a game involving willingness to get high or else being thrown towards a black hole.
4:28 p.m. Savej is some of the most effective tripping music (headphones) I have ever encountered. It was nuts in its ongoing dance of transformative scenes.
I am still heavily intoxicated, full of yawns and some tears. I feel that a lot of work was done at a level right below consciousness. Below conscious understanding and memory. I got a difficult to remember show of lights and the imagination on the surface but could feel myself being defragged or something underneath.
I am congested, have had some chest pains (it’s heartburn - I need to take a pepcid) and keep yawning. I keep trying to get dragged back down but the visions are not very heavy duty any more.
This has not been the easiest of trips. It’s like a preconscious emotional defragging. Kind of self-harsh. It does bring up the question of why am I doing this? It is strongly related to limited time. Limited time left with Nemo, limited time left alive. There is something about this state that although not easy feels very close to the sacred space, to being more emotionally authentic, to being more stripped down authentic to what it is to be human.
Now that I’m a bit more down, I feel that the DMT attempt may have been a bit of a misfire.
8:16 p.m. I have baselined and am feeling a lot better/more stable with a bit of a headache.
I cannot stress enough how the music affected this trip. I have never had music be so psychedelically profound as Savej. It was really next level.
When asked in chat if it was a good or fun trip, I replied it wasn’t super fun but wasn’t a rough ride either. Rather it felt kind of . . . necessary.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU