Hi everybody,

Hope you're all keeping safe and well.

Just wanted to ask about people's experiences of looking at loved ones on DMT and the sensations that arise. I set an intention of bringing myself closer to someone important in my life and maintained direct eye contact with them (for as long as possible) on the medicine. Found it very powerful and had this mantra of just 'Him, Him, Him, Him, Him...' playing in my head as it went on. But felt like looking at him was overwhelming me to the point where I couldn't feel anything, then at the same time, couldn't handle the love and reverence he had for me in his face.

It was as though it was too much? But compelled to know if others have set similar intentions before, what came up for them, how it felt, etc. - not necessarily anything that is synonymous with my recent experience.

Love always.

Had it happen on a high dose bredgesii cactus tea. Her face was glowing radiant with sparkling colours and stars. It was like looking and speaking to her spirit glowing happy in my presence. Being overwhelmed with happiness made me nauseous somehow. Cactus seem to does that. Nausea and euphoria are two faces of the same coin. They keep alternating between each other and are linked together ..one brings up the other.

My partner always looks double as radiantly beautiful to me when I'm coming down or on a light threshold hit.

Once I was awake alone at night in the house, after vaping some minor amount of freebase I went to my 4 year old's room and saw a deep red aura of anger around his sleeping head and facial expression. I knew that it was an anger I gave to him genetically. One I rarely have felt since becoming an adult. I knew then that a part of my job with him is to help him with something I understand and overcame myself.

That's interesting, nausea and euphoria are two faces of the same coin, I would never have pitched those together but thinking about it that makes sense... I just felt it was so intense, sitting on this cliff overlooking the ocean and the wind whipping my hair in my face whilst locked in gaze. Couldn't handle it, and as I went deeper into the experience, the sincerity in his face just deepened..
What you're saying is reminiscent of so much Sufi philosophy, the 'dizzy with love, God's love'

To physically see intergenerational trauma surround your child like that.. how did it make you feel afterwards?

A little different, but I often stare at my pup at various times while tripping. I normally wait until she puts herself to bed before I take anything. She has this super cute and comfy dog bed in my room (occasionally she gets on my bed but rarely sleeps the whole night there) and always makes herself so cozy. When I'm tripping, just looking at her fills me with warmth and love. Dogs are such radiant beings <3

A little heavy that I knew it came partly from me but mostly grateful to have it highlighted for me by the medicine. I can work to help in that specific area now that I've seen it. I think anger is a fairly common underlying emotion and I also believe that usually it is those with the best, good hearts that have anger as a part of their emotional arsenal.

The most memorable time looking at my husband on DMT was actually coming down from a massive DMT dose while peaking on LSD. Once the room stablilized from vibrating Legoland, back to Classic Art World, I turned and looked at Nemo Amicus and was stunned to see that he had become a living sand sculpture. His whole self was made out of sand but my focus was on his head. Sand was sliding off of the top and sides of his sand-head rapidly, but somehow it was being regenerated because the head stayed the same size as this continued to happen. It was really quite remarkable and was clearly symbolic of the changing yet stable nature of our long term relationship.

Many times I have looked at cats on LSD or DMT or LSDMT and they have looked amazing - like I could see every strand of fur and every strand had an internal light.

More recently I was having difficulty with a DMT dose and sat up and removed the blindfold. For me this is not good and signifies a kind of toxic resistance.

When I sat up and opened my eyes, my puffy kitty was sitting there, JUST out of arm's reach. Before I could call for her or reach her she gave me a deep look, then transformed into a black and white dog, then into something else black and white (my memory is not great right now). There was something about her calm demeaner as she radically changed in front of me that completely stabilized my mind and allowed me to lay back down and close my eyes and enjoy what remained.

Eye gazing on even low doses of DMT is extremely powerful especially with practice. It works best if you take LSD first. It's not for the faint of heart and can be quite dark and intense in the beginning stages.