Hello/greetings! I've found a lot of useful info on this forum as a guest. I had my first trip last night and it changed something in me. I had an ayahuasca sandwich and syrian rue, predicting it wouldn't do much at all. I was so wrong. I'm humbled. I did it alone, which was a mistake but I had to learn. Luckily, I spoke to a friend as I was eating it and spoke out my worries. The trip was just so intense. I had no idea what was coming. Apologies if I seem all over the place. Here is what I did:

I took 5 grams of syrian rue 45 mins before I ate the sandwich. I ground it up in a mortar and pestle and put it inside about 9 capsules. There was a bit left too but I just threw that out. I was worried taking anymore than 9 capsules.

I ground up 5 grams of acacia acuminata root bark in a coffee grinder but it didn't break up too well. Then I mixed it in a bowl with some natural peanut butter and a little honey. It became way too solid and sticky, so I kept adding water until it seemed spreadable. I left this and made into something of a sandwich on a corn tortilla. I had two because it wouldn't fit on one. The taste was just pb, honey and the acacia smells. The texture was like really tough to chew, hydrated dessicated coconut. It took a while to chew them up and swallow.

When I got done eating, the rue kicked in. A weird rush of blood to the head.

The visuals kicked in a bit later. So much happened but Las Vegas sums it up. Neon, motion trails and the most intense, terrifying thing I've ever experienced.

I guess I should talk about the rest in a different post, since this is meant to be an introduction. I get depressed and empty a lot. I'm definitely sensitive to things, summed up. Something had to change? I'm not sure of specifics, actually but I was in a rut. I'm looking for something.... I know that's vague but that's all I've got at the moment. Thanks for reading. I hope to learn more and be of some use. Peace.

Hello nibelheim, and welcome to the DMT-Nexus.

Now that you've had your initiation I can make a suggestion that may help you if there's going to be a next time;

Short of fully extracting, isolating, and purifying the alkaloids of these plants, what you can do to better your next experience in my opinion is instead of consuming all the seed and root bark matter as you did you may consider making a well filtered tea and doing it that way. You can toss out all the solids and simmer down the volumes to a manageable amount enabling you to take a shot of one potent tea followed by the other. I really feel the processing your gut had to do with what you did may have gotten in the way of the cleaner clearer experience you may want to have.

There's plenty of information on these forums and if you have any questions there's usually someone here who can answer them based on their past experiences.

Cheers.

Thank you
Yes, I was a bit impatient to try and thought the experience would be a taste of what's to come, compared to using other methods. I was wrong. I'll definitely try as a liquid next time.

nibelheim,

Welcome to the Nexus. Sounds like your initiation was a surprising and intense ride.

DMT is very very powerful medicine and MAOI's clear the way for the medicine to hit hard.

Set and setting are important but also understanding that there is only one guarantee with DMT and that is surprise. So, before we dose ourselves, not only do we need to have our mental and physical homes in order but we need to be ready to accept that things may get too intense or that some of our inner darkness may manifest when we are most psychically vulnerable and naked.

In my opinion this is part of the work. Dealing with our fears, our darkness, our shadows. And as far as I can tell the bulk of the work is done in a sober, or at least non-tripping state of mind. Integration should involve good food, regular work/school routines, good exercise, a lot of reflecting and journaling and just being kind of gentle and forgiving as well as willing to laugh at ourselves.

I would be interested in hearing how you feel about this experience in six months.


If you choose to continue working with these plants I would suggest you begin with just the Syrian Rue or extracted products from it. Harmalas are psychedelic and intoxicating by themselves.

If you want to continue the sometimes difficult work once you have kind of mentally mapped that out, I would recommend adding DMT or DMT containing plants to your dosing slowly and starting with very low doses. You can always eat another dose of MAOI and another low dose of DMT or DMT plant if you aren't getting where you want to go. But if you take too much there isn't much to do other than hold on for wherever the ride takes you.

I think if you approach this slowly, carefully and mindfully, you may find at least some of what you are seeking. MAOI's just by themselves have a profound effect on mood regulation. DMT is amazing. It's just all too easy to overdo it.

This was written by a woman who overdid it and can no longer dose DMT orally, .

Again, welcome to the Nexus.

Thank you. This was incredibly moving to read for me at the moment. I saw it right as I needed to. I didn't consider using the MAOI alone. Everything is unravelling at the moment for me and it's almost equalling the intensity and disorientation I had during the trip. I was arrogant and now I'm seeing just how little I understand about how things work and function.
I'm not sure if you were saying this exactly but would taking the syrian rue help with the intensity experienced at the moment? Or would that just add to it? I'm surely not going to do anything drastic again like I did. What a mess it causes...

Dear nibelheim,


I love your username. FF7 is my favourite video game of all time. Have you played the remake version? I listen to the soundtrack all the time, really great "get up and go" music!

Thanks for sharing your experiences and I'm sorry that you're struggling to make sense of it. Rest assured that this feeling is pretty normal. You've already received some great advice in this thread so I won't harp on, but in my opinion a break from psychedelic journeying and an embrace of this reality is probably a wise decision, especially after reading this: "Everything is unravelling at the moment for me and it's almost equalling the intensity and disorientation I had during the trip. I was arrogant and now I'm seeing just how little I understand about how things work and function."

You will make sense of it in your own way, soon enough. A useful thought that helps me is: "maybe we are not meant to understand it all". If you continue to journey in this way, you *will* encounter content that you just cannot make sense of, and that's ok. Heed the advice of the experienced members on here, and take care of yourself.

Thank you for your kind words
I would definitely like to experience the other world again but I know I need to allow everythung to piece together within me first. I'm feeling very fragmemted and a friend said it seemed like the flu, which just made sense as a metaphor. I'm lost and weak but I'll my footing again.

FF7 opened many doors in my mind when I encountered it. I have seen the remake but it didn't grab my heart like the original. I'm glad you found something in both. I still play a lot of the music on the piano. I find it very calming and it keeps me linked to the dreaming child part of me, which I always want to keep with me.