5g Golden Teacher: my life in a tesseract Options
#1 Posted : 8/30/2022 2:55:28 PM

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Last visit: 26-May-2023
Location: rome
Substance: Golden Teacher
Quantity: 5.12 grams
Set & Setting: my house with my wife

This was the second experience with high dosage of mushrooms; this time I decided to put the mask on almost immediately and try to have a more intimate experience. I also play different music than usual, a very 'cosmic' Jonn Serrie playlist with noises taken from nature.

English is not my first language, I will try to describe everything the best I can :-)

After having chopped my little friends and soaked them 20 minutes in lemon juice, I send them down solemnly wishing me to visit strange new worlds: lol:: lol:
After the initial annoyances and a bit of anxiety, I lie down with the mask and start the psilocybin dance that makes me parachute (take off? Boh) in a space where I immediately started to move in strange dimensions; I tried to move my arms and it seemed to me to reach cosmic distances. When I entered the peak, I think that the music reproduced the sound of the wind: well, from that moment I BECAME SAND, the wind swept me and the grains of which I was composed traveled fast in space; I was the sand that was swept and at the same time I traveled when I was swept away. so I felt together the quiet of an expanse of sand and the thrill of traveling through the wind.
At one point my trip sitter caressed my chest and belly in 3 different places, leaving footprints in the sand that were soon smoothed out by the wind <3: asd:

I was in this state of stillness for eons, then I received a fairly intense electric shock that 'reset' me; I received two more of these shocks always at half intensity, I think they are the 'waves' of the substance that I had also felt at other times but never so strong. In short, like an electroshock that made me meet in the empty/blue space with the mushroom and it said to me: 'and now where are we going?' I tell him 'let's go for a ride when I was a kid', 'ok I'll take you there'.

So I flew to the building where I lived as a child, I started to rotate around as if I were a drone but I could not focus it well because it was mounted on a huge rotating dodecahedron that prevented me from focusing it well; I decide to move to the opposite building, a twin building with a courtyard that separates it from my building. I go to the third floor, the balcony of my childhood friend Cinzia and from there I have a perfect view; I had certainly been to her house as a child, but now it seems wonderful to be able to observe my house from an external point of view; on the balcony she had a mandarin tree with fruit that I loved. my view is not only on my house but on several temporal episodes that have occurred.
I could see when I was a child that I fell from the bike, then immediately on the legs of my mother who holds a handkerchief over my injured nose (I automatically put my hand on the almost invisible wound that is still on my nose even now); then on the balcony I meet Cinzia's mother, I immediately think of her father and immediately turn my gaze towards the courtyard where I saw him last time, a few years ago while, I was informing him of my father's death; so pay attention to what I'm seeing: there is a little me on my friend's balcony, watching a myself 40 years after I communicate to this person about my father's death and a child myself falling off my bike and then standing on my mother knees.
I WAS all those people at the same time and I thought: how is it possible? in the space I was living, time no longer went in one direction but was still, or rather everything that had happened existed in the same space at the same time and I could observe this space-time configuration as if I were inside a four-dimensional hypercube that allowed me to be child and adult at the same moment.
I could see the substance of which time was made as it curved to make this extraordinary contemporaneity possible!
Among all the wonderful experiences I have had with mushrooms this one definitely pushed me to thank this substance during the trip, I thought 'what a wonderful intoxication' and I smiled

Another small electroshock. this time I decide to remove the mask. my trip sitter was near me, I want to tell her immediately what I saw. I start to remember and describe but as soon as I think of the child who sees his adult self communicate the news of his father's death, it upsets me and I start to cry out loud; even as I hear the word 'DEAD' I am assailed by a cosmic sadness. Not a bad trip at all, the thing in a certain way was beautiful and I wanted to continue living it to the fullest and I continued to cry for several minutes in the arms of my sitter; the thought of death continued to accompany me throughout the trip and in the descending phase I made realizations about death, war, disease. as in all my recent trips, I have struggled to keep thoughts on the international situation away and I have had very intense and terrible moments of realization of what is happening.

- the trip changes profoundly if done in the dark/mask, I am not saying that I will always do this but it is definitely an option that allows you to go very deep. Usually I like a lot more to observe the various objects/people in the house because it is more fun, but for a self-improvement traveling in the dark is the best thing IMHO.
- music creates the trip! I usually like to hear Pink Floyd, which indescribably colors the trip but it's a different thing depending on what you are looking for. Gilmour's guitars create wonderful fantasy worlds, but a more 'discreet' and intimate music allows you to go deeper and especially at the beginning provides a lot of calm that when he is uphill with the mushroom does not hurt!
- about the experience of the tesseract: probably those who have never tried cannot understand what it means to BE in different points of space and time at the same moment and to feel different feelings (the desperation of the child who witnesses himself talking about death of the father, the adult who is sorry for having to give such bad news to an old friend of the family, another child of a different age who finds himself with pieces of asphalt in his nose and cries for the blood that comes out but feels the comfort of one's mother); well, he was incredibly emotional and even now looking back as I write I feel a lump in my throat ...
- if everyone took mushrooms the world would be a wonderful place!

Safe journeys to everyone!

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#2 Posted : 3/26/2023 2:25:40 PM

Got Naloxone?

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Fascinating report. Thank you for sharing

When you turned into sand that reminded of once looking at my husband on a LSDMT trip and seeing that he had turned into a sand sculpture that was constantly crumbling but never becoming less of its whole.

I also resonated with the all times tesseract stuff and it brought back memories from various journeys on Salvia, iboga root bark, 5meo and NNDMT mystical breakthrough. These truly are magical molecules that can offer shortcuts to working on ourselves. Such powerful catalysts.

Now that some real time has passed have you had a chance to integrate this at all? Has it helped you to deal with and come to terms with some of the traumatic material that you discussed from your childhood?

Your writing is pretty darn good for somebody who does not enjoy English as a first language. I really appreciated reading it. Thank you.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President
MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2

#3 Posted : 3/30/2023 3:59:08 PM

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Posts: 67
Joined: 13-Dec-2021
Last visit: 26-May-2023
Location: rome
Thanks for your comment @Pandora

Yes I have integrated a lot indeed!
After being sand, everything changed; every time I fell nervous or anxious, every time I have bad time during my trips with other substances, even when I can't sleep, then I can focus my mind and find again that feeling of being sand in the wind and I find peace. It s like a mental mantra that I can use to run from negative loops and let it go, so in that sense I have integrated it in my real life and I think that's marvelous effect of the mushorooms!

For my childhood thing, I would say after few months: in the moment in which I (child) saw myself (adult) telling to that person that my father was passed, in some way I got that mourn that I did not have years ago when the event happened. So I feel relieved and I can think about my father with happyness and gratitude for all the good things that he did for me, without any bad feelings.
So I would say these substances are prodigiuos, they cure your soul in ways most of people can't even imagine!
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