Embracing the emptiness of God Options
#1 Posted : 9/14/2022 10:10:59 AM

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A couple of weeks back we went to a cottage by a lakeside with some friends to take psychedelics. I doses with some harmalas and then took approx 2 g of cubensis lemon tekked.

I took the mushrooms, sat cross-legged on the floor of the cabin and closed my eyes. Unlike on my most of my psychedelic trips, I quickly realized that there doesn't seem to be any content on my visionary field, no particular thoughts or images. All was black and grey, which is something you'd suspect to see, when you close your eyes... However, this nothingness felt peaceful and worth pursuing. I sat there and my body felt airy and transparent. I had no strain on my chest or shoulders. I was feeling light like a cloud, like nothing could cling to me. I was feeling a bit cold, but even the coldness was just a feeling among others I paid some attention to, but just let it be. This experience lasted maybe for an hour (or a half, can't really say) and then I decided I want some comfort and went looking for a warmer place.

Later on that day I was looking at the clouds and a thought came to mind that if you are totally empty and become weightless you could ride the clouds and be happy. I saw then, I believe for the first time in my life, the connection between the Christian heaven and the sky above us. Maybe it's quite legit to say that grandpa is waving from the edge of the cloud. Maybe it's legit to imagine yourself there too.

I have been coming back to this experience and been able to access it again to certain degree through meditation. I recently read sayings of zen master Kodo Sawaki, who's famous for pointing out that "zazen (zen meditation) is good for nothing" and there is no point in pursuing anything in meditation. He takes his points to the extreme, but they have been powerful in revisiting my intentions and recognizing the clinging that can take seemingly noble and subtle forms that still bring suffering.

From a philosophical point of view I've been pondering the all-encompassing nothingness that seems to bring together all monotheistic mystical traditions and Buddhism which in traditional sense is usually portrayed as being opposite to anything resembling a Supreme.

In Kabbalah there are the formless realms (Ein Sof Aur) above the manifested realms of the sephirot. In Christian mysticism there is the tradition of apophatic theology, hesychasm and the dark night of St. John of the Cross. In Sufism God is in the unspeakable and ungraspable. One poet put it: "Sufism is truth without form."

In my two years of extensive use of DMT and ayahuasca, there has been a great pull from the magical and phantastical realms the hyperspace seems to open, but through meditation and some analytical thinking and studying I feel now like I'm getting a glimpse of something that lies underneath, something that penetrates everything and seems incorruptible. This nothingness seems like a worthy refuge, the place of rest and gratitude religions attribute to God. I've been opening up to the idea that God can be understood and felt in this way, which in turn can make monotheism and monotheistic worship meaningful. Maybe I just got the wrong turn when I clung to the idolized idea of God and got gravely disappointed at some point in my life. It has begun to seem like there is after all reality beyond names and images that is worth surrendering to.

Thank you for reading this far. Thoughts struggle to make their way from the unmanifested to the manifested. 🙂
My preferred method:
Very easy pharmahuasca recipe

My preferred introductory article:
Just a Wee Bit More About DMT, by Nick Sand

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
#2 Posted : 9/14/2022 12:37:31 PM

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Hi Tomtegubbe,
nice read, thx.
I too enjoy very much the withdrawal of manifestation-at-large with use of beloved plants. Cannabis can't help me with that, then I just get deeper involved in this-n-thats (all fun in its own rights). But oral harmalas and deems can. Mescaline tends me to endeavor into the world again yet experienced trough another lens of perception.

Strange that (harmalas +) deems can bring me the two extremes (active or zen), depending on ROA, doses and the unpredictable personal response at the moment. I'll never forget my once vaping deems (no harmalas) and bracing myself for a launch out of a barrel and got the extreme opposite, leaving me thinking: only now I know what 100% zen is.

We can interpret religious aspects ourselves, as you did nicely.
Being near anti religion I can surely enjoy religious outings (or shall we say more honestly the art of artists) that imho refers to the zen-ish-state. I've no interest in the religious "tale" connected to it as that usually spoils it. In attachment a trophy of such a visit, in my little world it looks up to your mentioned clouds of not-being-by-only-being if that makes any sense.

I truly believe in this society of burnouts and stress, it is mandatory to visit the offline-status condition enough. A retreat of the splatters of life in order to recharge.
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#3 Posted : 9/14/2022 1:56:44 PM

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Very beautiful and resonant as much of what you've discussed are parts of paradoxes I regularly observe Love

And I've reached similar states of multifaceted simultaneous immediate experience, such as tremendous joy and sorrow at the same, and find such states to be the most powerful and meaningful and feel closer to the "fundemental."

Thank you so much for sharing.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.

Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
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