Hey everyone!

Earlier this year I embarked upon my what I consider my first journeys with vaping DMT. My actual first experiences were over 10 years ago and while they were thrilling and captivating, I don't remember anything other than astonishment. The main portion of this post will focus on a few recent trips. I'll start off with some background regarding my earlier experiences this year to provide context for the main stories.

Before my first breakthrough I experimented with lower doses until I felt ready for the big breakthrough. Full of trepidation, fear and excitement I struggled to learn where my sweet spot was. My early experiences were somewhat confusing and it was hard to remember anything. They were magical nonetheless and I was blown away by the blissful euphoric afterglow found after each experience.

I was eager to learn how to navigate this realm and my use continued everyday for weeks. I began to establish a pre flight ritual that included breath work and stating my intention. It appeared to work, I was remembering more from my journeys and having deeper experiences. I was meeting guides, teachers, guardians, tricksters and goofy childlike characters. One interesting aspect of my journeys thus far is that I could not see the entities but they would talk to me.

I couldn't believe the impact these experiences were having on my life in consensus reality. It helped me quit using nicotine (still clean to this day). I was cooking lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and exercising 5 days a week. My cravings for alcohol had completely diminished. I had this overwhelming feeling that I was being healed and experiencing life unencumbered for the first time. Everything I experienced seemed brand new and full of vitality.

This is when I think I started to get greedy. Instead of being grateful for the gift of healing I had been given, I wanted more. Looking back I feel like a pig with an insatiable appetite but that was far from my awareness at the time. I felt like I was having a spiritual awakening and continued to use with no negative consequences until that fateful day of the hyperslap.

Trip Report #1 The Hyperslap

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While I had no unpleasant experiences yet, I couldn't ignore my everyday use was starting to concern me. So I decided I would take at least a week off. It started off well the first few days and I still felt amazing. I felt I was almost floating through life, ready to tackle any challenges and attend to my responsibilities effortlessly.

One night my girlfriend, we'll call her Stella Blue, was interested in trying DMT for the first time. She ended up having two profoundly moving experiences on sub breakthrough doses. I was elated to hear she had such warm pleasant experiences for her first time. Intrusive thoughts entered my mind about ending my break with DMT. Her enthusiasm was contagious and I impulsively decided I would breakthrough tonight, also breaking a promise to myself.

My pre flight ritual was rushed and lazy. When I broke through I was completely lost and my memory was eviscerated. I couldn't remember who I was or that I had vaped DMT. All I knew was that I was lost and I feared I would never return to whatever home was. I felt incredible g force like pressure over my entire body, especially my face. I also had the bodily sensation of being sucked in, thrown and tossed around by an undertow of a wave.

I was very scared and all I could think of was being trapped in this state forever. It was terrifying and felt like emotional torture. Gradually some clarity seeped into the experience and I was able to remember I was in the middle of a DMT trip. I was able to assure myself it would all be over soon even though it felt like being trapped in eternity.

Then a booming disciplinary masculine voice says to me "YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE?!" and I was slammed back into consensus reality pondering what had just taken place. My first thoughts were 'I don't need to do this substance for a VERY long time'. I did not feel traumatized but I finally understood the respect that is a prerequisite for using DMT.

I was being incredibly foolish and childish in my approach and I realized a break was exactly what I needed. This trip seemed to be the epitome of 'You don't get what you want, you get what you need'. It taught me I need to balance my life in consensus reality with my excursions into the DMT world. Upon reflection I like to believe that if the quality of my life improves so does the quality of the experiences. I had plenty of tasks to knock off my todo list and I decided to focus on the mundane in order to ground myself.

I was successful in taking a few weeks off and I realized how important integration work is. There was so much to unpack from my experiences that I had been ignoring because I was so eager to jump into the next trip. After much introspection, I started to get the 'call' but I was concerned this could just be my addictive tendencies speaking. I was still very afraid to dive back into the waters of DMT. Until one night I mustered up to the courage to jump into the unknown.

Trip Report #2 The Welcoming Party

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I had made the decision to breakthrough with the intent of having no expectation and to completely surrender. To trust I would be able to handle whatever was shown to me. I was ready for pleasant or unpleasant, it would be what I needed, not what I wanted.

When I broke through I was greeted by cartoonish friendly voices who were chanting "Welcome, Friends, Special, Join Us" and it seemed like they were celebrating. I was a little alarmed by the "Join Us" because it felt culty but the vibe was so loving I completely immersed myself in the experience without reservations. As mentioned previously I could not see these entities.

The scene transformed into flashing lights with hyperspace confetti and balloons. I had a deep intuitive feeling that Life was being celebrated. I was filled with emotions like love, wonder and joy. I was deeply moved at how beautiful life can be. As I started to leave hyperspace I heard a loving fatherly voice say 'You're a good guy Catfish John, you're on the right path'. I was ecstatic I had been welcomed back into hyperspace with open loving arms.

The afterglow was especially euphoric and I was basking in the celestial light. My fear of DMT eroded but the respect remained. The take away from this experience is that life is a gift and it can be as wonder and awe inspiring as a DMT trip. I see balance as an emerging pattern, balance is a key to these experiences. However balance can be tricky with DMT, especially when it feels like walking on a tight rope.

I was so enthralled with my experience I had no desire to do anymore that evening. My sense of well being and health was enough. I was relieved, grateful and was rewarded with a peaceful revitalizing slumber.

Trip Report #3 Not What You Expected, Huh?

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Following the warm welcome back, I was excited for what awaited me in the DMT world. I was feeling confident and open minded to accept whatever was coming my way. My experience starting by traveling up a bright white rectangular tunnel. I noticed I was moving slower than previous breakthroughs. It was similar to moving up an elevator or escalator.

It seemed like I was in this white tunnel for too long and I should have broke through by now. I started to worry a little I hadn't taken enough. Then I heard some voices that kept repeating 'Were sorry, please wait'. They kept repeating this and it was unnerving to me like something was wrong.

Before I could formulate another thought I was transported to a dark murky place. I was being shown images of garbage, bugs and war. I wasn't scared but I was extremely uncomfortable mentally and physically. My body felt like it was being squeezed in a big vice. I thought to myself 'Why am I being shown this, so strange' and a voice responded 'Not what you expected, huh?'.

After this I descended from hyperspace into a typically beautiful afterglow. I had the insight that anything can happen in hyperspace. Even though I thought I had dropped expectations, I was not ready for my first foray into the neutral yet bizarrely weird DMT territory. I needed to remind myself that I don't know anything and I need to be prepared for experiencing the unexpected. Another lesson learned I was feeling courageous so I decided to go for a second session that night.

Trip Report #4 Learning To Use My Astral Body

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As a result of the afterglow I was feeling calm, cool and collected. Ready to dive back in. I performed my pre flight ritual and I was off! Upon breaking through I was greeted by some entities I could not see that were encouraging me to 'USE MY EYES'. I was a little confused at first because I could see the world transforming around me and I was used to only hearing entities, not seeing them.

Sometimes I get this intuitive feeling on DMT that telepathic information is transmitted to me without language. I just internally 'know' what's going on. This is one of those instances. I 'knew' the entities were trying to teach me to use my astral body and it seemed to be working. My awareness of the environment expanded and I could feel myself moving through this space.

Soon after I actually saw my first entity!! I can't even begin to come up with a description that fits what the entity looked like although it seemed to be composed of red transforming bubbles. The entity told me 'Dont worry about what you see here, you wouldn't understand'. He then proceeded to speak in an alien language that was hilarious, it was honestly very comforting.

When I came down, I was thrilled I finally saw an entity! But the bigger message seemed to be that I shouldn't try to 'figure things out' when in the DMT realm. It's beyond what I'm meant to understand. I was reminded of Plato's allegory of the cave. My consensus reality is my cave and I'm not equipped to understand many of the things that occur in hyperspace. I need to just enjoy the glimpse into the mystery and not look too far into it.

I was still immensely excited that progress was being made, convinced that I was learning to get more comfortable in the DMT world and experience it more fully. One more session was in store this evening. Little did I know it would be my most vivid experience to date.

Trip Report #5 Alien Ocean Insects

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I blasted off into an glistening opal crystal colored world where I was greeted by entities that looked like walkingstick bugs but they had an alien mollusk like quality to them. They told me 'Catfish John, stop doing things that hurt yourself. We love you and Stella Blue loves you. Stella Blue seems like a great person and we would like to meet her'.

After sharing their message they got very up close and personal to me. Their legs/tentacles seemed to be examining me. They were making hilarious beep boop robot noises while this inspection was going on. Reminded me of the noises R2D2 makes in the Star Wars movies. The inspection was not threatening but my personal boundaries were being invaded. I guess I should have guessed my boundaries would be dissolved when taking a psychedelic

The entities left and the world transformed into a blue gooey transforming substance that reminded me of something I read in the Hyperspace Lexicon called 'jimjam'. It had an oceanic theme and I saw what looked like octopus like limbs and suction cups moving around and knotting.

I'm still integrating this experience and have not had any journeys since. 'Stop doing things that hurt yourself'. I think the entities may be referring to my cannabis use. For a non trivial amount of time, I've been aware that cannabis makes me tired and it makes it harder for me to learn new things. However I've been unable to manage to kick the habit.

I think my cannabis use is deeply entrenched in my behavior because it the past I definitely treated smoking weed like it was a personality trait. My life revolved around smoking weed and it was part of my 'image'. I think DMT has healed me enough where I no longer need to use weed as a crutch to deal with difficult emotions. I haven't stopped smoking yet but soon I feel I will summon the strength to slay this beast.

All my DMT experiences have been the most profound experiences in my entire life. I have so much learning and growing to do. It feels like I'm finally getting to start my 'real life' without all the baggage and complication that weighed me down previously. It's going to require a lot of hard work on my part, so wish me luck

Thanks to anyone who read this post!! I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my experiences and I hope you enjoy reading them.

Beautiful reports! You described your experiences very well
I was struck by the fact you could take each experience, even the most difficult ones, as an opportunity to learn something and to grow as a person. With this attitude, I'm confident you will be able to stop smoking weed.

You're welcome ricardo! I'm glad you found some value in my post Thanks for reading, it means a lot!


Thanks for the kind words CosmicRiver! Right now I'm in that all too familiar pitiful state where I say "After this bag is gone then I'll quit". But I ask myself the question "If you don't have the motivation to change now how will you be motivated to restrain yourself from another bag?" I think it would be personally meaningful and powerful if I stopped even while I have weed available. I think I'm headed in the right direction and I appreciate your support!

I like what you wrote about your trip.
And I really hope, that you can bring that radiance from the heavenly realms into the ordinary part, of daily practice. It sounds like you have good intentions about improving your lifestyle, and part of that is reflected in your desire to quit using marijuana. Although, some to say to the topic, personally, is that I don't find reasons to stop/or not stop smoking marijuana, because for me it is a moderate catalyst that I use creatively without intervening in hard memory processes. Or is a kind becoming, that, is not a programming with an concret end. But I am also aware that in some people who abuse the habit of smoking marijuana, certain gaps can be generated, and energy imbalances or even dependence for metabolic processes, which recreates a circle that directly affects mental processes. I believe that the root of all this spiritual excess with marijuana -which I consider a sacred medicine- is due in large part to not having some aspects of the most basic levels of existence in harmony. But it's just my way of understanding the whole case. And I am not recommending that you continue smoking or not. I simply leave this question of habits and excess...their consequences...
Anyways, just return to base reality quickly, in any case, when you find that cosmic imbalance in your being.

I hope you continue to have such revealing trips!

Smiles

Eph.

It's always nice to see someone's commitment. In this case there is you with a great description of your experiences. Thank you.
For the use of cannabis, you can try to see it from another point of view: by loosening your use you would actually enrich your relationship with the plant, because treating it as something habitual obviously slows the fire. As with a loving partner, after some time you are together, it becomes a habit, you begin to forget what you loved about her/him and highlight those few defects that you didn't even see before. And after a while you start to think that it's something that cuts your wings, that it hurts your life, when in reality maybe it was just the kind of approach to the relationship that was wrong. Otherwise if you really want to stop, that you think the plant will never give you anything, stop immediately. Give yourself a commandment, now take and go and give what you have left to someone (or, even if it's a pity, throw it away), and from today just stop. It's the only way, or you'll always find excuses. You will be able to overcome any emotional or physical consequences, 100 percent. You are a strong and intelligent person.

Hey Eph!

Thanks I hope so too The journeys are captivating but one my favorite things about DMT is how it enables me to be present in consensus reality. For example, typically after work I would be like "Man now I have to work out and cook dinner, I'm exhausted, this sucks", now it's a seamless transition without resistance. I'm able to appreciate the mundane!


That is an enlightening take on the matter. Makes my position seem rather extreme. Using weed creatively instead of programmatically, Now that's something I need to write down. It reminds me how Terence McKenna had a bit about how marijuana is best used sparingly as a sacrament.



I'm trying to grok what you're saying but I feel I'm falling short. Let me try to restate it in terms of my own in an attempt to understand. Please correct me if I'm wrong! "If one isn't acting in accordance with nature it can lead to abusing marijuana because one truly seeks a spiritual experience."



Me too

You're welcome! Thank you for the compliment


You and Eph really drove the point home for me. Maybe the cannabis isn't the problem but rather my approach to using it is the problem. That is such a beautiful metaphor you used about the relationship, I absolutely love it Reminds me of something from the The Prophet by Kahil Gabran:

"Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow."

Maybe I just need space in my togetherness with marijuana.


I appreciate the encouragement Right now I'm leaning towards taking a break and then reintroducing into my life if I feel it's appropriate. I would definitely take a different approach next time.

Thank you for reporting this beautiful quote!